Friday, March 18, 2011

Words, Hope, and Africa

Day 3: What are three of your biggest passions?

Before I answer this question, I'd like to put Jesus at the top of this list, but because that is an obvious Sunday school answer to this sort of question, I'm not going to include Him in my list today.  Just putting that out there.

Writing has been a passion of mine for as long as I can remember.  I've wanted to be a writer since I was three or four years old.  I made up stories before I could actually read.  Nothing else on earth gives me that same feeling of excitement and joy than writing does.  It's truly a passion of mine.  If I go more than a day without writing, my heart starts to ache in my chest.  I feel like a day has been purposeless if I haven't written something.

Writing is a love that God has given me.  Whether He's given me talent is up to you to decide, but even if I'm an awful writer, that's okay.  That won't change my passion for writing.  I know a lot of people find my passion for writing to be funny.  Most people hate it... like my friends, for example.  But I don't.  I have a love for writing the way some people love nature and the way some people love music.

When I write, I create.

africa children block of jpgAfrica.
My heart hurts for everyone in the world who is struggling with poverty, but for some reason, a huge chunk of my heart lies with the people in Africa.  When I visited Kenya, my love for Africa expanded even more... and I didn't think that was possible.  The people I met were filled with joy and peace and beauty.  They taught me so much, even though they had so little.

No matter what I end up doing with my life, I know God is going to use me to help Africa in some way.  He's given me that love.

Those struggling with self worth.
As a young teen, I struggled with depression, suicidal thoughts, and self injury.  I've been through those emotions and feelings of absolute hopelessness.  I was once a little girl who felt worthless and unlovable.  I hurt myself because I thought I deserved the pain.  I thought I deserved to die.  As I've grown older, the Lord has shown me how much worth I truly have.  I am His treasured possession.  At times, that is a hard thing to accept, especially after I've taught myself to feel stupid and ugly and without value.

I feel a great empathy for other young girls who are struggling with these issues.  I know what it's like to feel worthless and I don't want any other girl to have to feel the same way.  It is sometimes difficult for me to forgive myself for the things I've done.  I've damaged God's temple.  I hated His creation when I hated myself.  When I have the chance to talk to girls who are struggling with the same things that I once struggled with, in a way, I feel redemption.  The Lord can use my most shameful and painful mistakes to glorify Him and help others.

For the rest of my life, I want my struggles and past to be available for the Lord to use for His glory.  If there is a young girl who will be encouraged by my testimony, then I will be eager to share it with her.

No girl should ever feel ugly or worthless.

Here are today's questions:
1. What are your three biggest passions?
2. Have you ever struggled with self worth?  


  1. 1. I think it passions would have to be teaching (or helping to teach ;)), music (chorus and flute) and karate.:D

    2. Not really =]

  2. I am still figuring myself out. I know a big passion of mine is for drama and acting. I love watching it, writing for it, and performing! Since the drama group at my church ended, I have been aching to fill that spot in heart. I plan to major in theatre while in college so I can teach others and be a part of drama ministry.

    Another passion of mine is children. I can't wait to be a mom and I love to hang out with kids now. I have always tried to be a mentor and disciple children. Now that I get older, the more I am drawn to teenagers, which is unlike me!

    I am also figuring out that I am a passionate thinker. I love to chew on thoughts and read books and watch movies that really challenge me to think. This goes along with learning but I can't stand school! =D

    I have had a pretty supporting family, and have grown up knowing that I am loved and feeling encouraged. I know not everybody has that and I want to help others feel that too. That's why I want to go into psychology also, to become a counselor to help others.

  3. 1.) I suppose one of them is helping the unborn and kids who are adopted. I think that writing is one of them too, and then animals.
    2.) I struggled with self worth the worst when I started at a public school last year. I barely knew anyone, and I'd never experienced anything like that before. I was really lonely and if I asked to work with people, they usually hesitated before answering. Just that hesitation was worse than the answer. Luckily, I'm doing much better this year.

  4. 1) My passions?
    1- Helping other people.. those who are generally overlooked and not heard, people in Africa, India and around the world who live in poverty, girls in the UK and US who don't see their own worth [which is somewhat ironic, but nevermind.] I just love to be able to help, or advise. I care, deeply, about people. All people.
    2- Music. I love music, I play 2 instruments, and I sing in a choir. I'm not amazing by any stretch of the imagination, but there's something about making music in a group, especially when it's music praising God!
    3- Writing. I don't know that I'm any good, but I love to write, it's how I express myself, and I always end up starting writing, and not being able to stop [heh, like now!]
    [Picking the top 3 is hard!]

    2) More than I admit to people, yes. It's probably the biggest issue in my life right now. I don't like to admit it though, because I feel that in admitting it, it makes it more true, and others will all agree with me. I'm somewhat ashamed to say that SH's something in my life also. My worth to God is probably one of the hardest parts of Christianity to grasp, personally, the idea of being loved, and valued is somewhat strange- I can't fully believe it.

  5. 1. I'd have to put writing on my list too (although, sometimes I feel like that passion has died). I am not a writer because I write. I write because I'm a writer.

    Then, I'd have to say that kids are another passion of mine (just look at my blog!) I'm not quite sure about a third item for the list right now.

    I had a lot more to say about it, but I figured you can wait for the blog post!

    2. I constantly struggle with it- even to this very day. Some days are better than others.

  6. 1. I'm not sure what my passions are... I know that sounds so weird but I don't know! Maybe, helping people, making people happy and reading?

    2. Oh yeah :/ right now... I haven't ever harmed myself but I have felt worthless.

  7. Still I was doing things to make people happy, still I was honoring everybody in this world, still I was doing things to help them and grow up there scientific vision in a proper way.