Friday, April 22, 2011

You make me very angry.

Day 23: What is a quality about yourself that you like? That you're striving to change?

Just to clear this up... I probably sat here and stared at this computer screen for ten minutes, trying to decide what quality about myself that I like well enough to write about.  It feels like bragging.  But honestly, everybody has good qualities and I should be confident enough in myself to admit one of my own good qualities.  No worries... I have plenty of bad ones to even them out.

IMG_9003.JPGI like my loyalty.  I'm a loyal person.  It takes a lot for me to pull away from a friendship.  I think my loyalty stems from my stubbornness.  I'm very, very, very stubborn, which can be a good thing at times and a very bad thing at others.  :)  I feel like Mr. Monk.  "It's a gift... and a curse."  But anyways, I think I'm loyal because of my stubbornness when it comes to giving up on a friendship.  It takes a lot for me to break ties with a good friend.

I may not be as shy as I was when I was in Jr. High, but I'm still a reserved person.  While I'm casual friends with many people, it takes a lot for someone to become a truly close friend of mine.  When I finally break down my walls and make a close friend, I feel very loyal towards them and it will take a lot to break us apart.  I love my friends to death.  And I like that.  Loyalty is a quality that admire in others as well and one that I like in myself.  My best friend is very loyal, which I love. :)

A quality that I'm striving to change about myself is my tendency to hold grudges.  When someone hurts me or makes me angry, I tend to hold everything inside and feel bitter towards them.  I keep a grudge instead of talking things out.  I don't like that about myself because God commands us to forgive, not to hold angry thoughts inside.

I still struggle with a couple of grudges in my life right now.  There are a few people who have hurt me, and it's hard for me to forgive and forget, even when I know Jesus wants me to.  But I'm working on those problems.  If Jesus actually forgave every single one of my terrible sins, then the least I can do is forgive the meager sins of others.

What's funny is sometimes I have trouble holding grudges against people who hurt my friends.  I feel so angry when someone hurts a loved one that I almost feel like they've hurt me.  Has anyone else ever felt that way? 

What is a quality about yourself that you like?
What is a quality about yourself that you're striving to change?


  1. This is somewhat of an alien concept to me, but a quality I like is my empathy. I feel people's hurt, if one if my friends is hurting, I am too, I feel deeply for people who're in pain, whether physical, mental, or emotional- I feel for them, and I feel with them. I like this, because although it hurts me immensely, it means I want to help people, and it enables me to do this. My friend, and youth leader, say that it's something God's given me, to enable me to do what he has planned.

    And, yes, I often feel angry when those I love are hurt, on occasion, more angry than when I myself am hurt.. the same applies to being upset also, I feel for others, as strongly, if not more so, than I do for myself!

    I have many qualities I'm striving to change. I want to change the way I view myself, I have a negative view of myself, I hate myself a lot of the time, and I want to change this. I want to change how shy I am also, I want to be more able to talk to people I don't know.

  2. One that I like - Hm. Probably my "kindness". That sounds weird, and it feels like bragging, but all my friends and family say that is one of my best qualities. :) That's good...

    One I desire to change - Same as yours. I hold grudges. :( I'm getting better, but it's still there.