Monday, November 28, 2011

A Little Confused...

Day 14: Something you always think "what if" about.

Okay, I thought of a lot of deep ones, like "what if" my friend Gatlin had not died or "what if" I went to a school other than Texas A&M or "what if" I was born in a third world country... but I don't feel like writing any of those today.

My "what if" is kind of silly, but it's something I've said "what if" about for a few years now.
It all began during my sophomore year in high school.  I'm not sure exactly what brought up this topic, but my friend Rebecca and I began to talk about "what if" we were actually mentally retarded and no one would tell us.  What if our high school was actually a "special" school where we learned things that seemed hard to us but were actually quite silly?  What if our long and deep conversations were actually babbling?  What if our whole lives, everyone had told us, "You are special," but they didn't mean it in the way we'd always thought?

Of course, this entire thought process was quite silly, but for some reason, it lingered.  As silly as it seemed, we couldn't get the idea out of our heads.  What if it was true?  What if we were mentally handicapped?

Pretty soon, Ali got in on this little "what if" paranoia and began to worry (most sincerely out of all of us) that we were all unstable.

This "what if" conversation lasted for several weeks, half-joking and half-disturbed.  My dad didn't make things any better by joking and agreeing with us all.

Of course, we weren't mentally handicapped and we went to a normal high school, learned normal things, and soon began to drive like normal students... but even today, we'll still nervously joke around about the possibility.

(I'm not sure why I'm even admitting this.)

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