While I did not post any blogs (nor check my comments or view count) for the entirety of the week, I did keep a daily journal. Here are a few of my thoughts from the first two days of the week.
Day 1: Friday
At midnight, I shut down my computer, turned off the data and wi-fi on my phone (I'm so glad I did; I keep unintentionally trying to open my favorite phone apps out of habit. I have a problem, y'all), and then I sat back and wondered what on earth I was supposed to do next.
I ended up wide awake at midnight and wishing I could put in a movie until I fell asleep. Instead, I wandered outside barefoot, dragging my longboard behind me. After longboarding for a while, I made myself some decaffeinated chai tea and sat down to read the Possessions chapter of The 7 Experiment. Then, in a fit of conviction, I organized the bags and boxes of possessions to give away. I finally settled on reading some of Les Miserables, showered, had a quiet time, and headed to bed. I won't tell you the time. I'm an insomniac, alright?
My early afternoon was spent taking my possessions to shelters and a high school, which passed the time happily. Sammy and I had our weekly Bible study, discussing our possessions fast from last week. Sammy will be fasting this week from books, texting, iPad apps (she wanted me to clarify that she doesn't have an iPhone and never will), DragonVale, YouTube, music, and Facebook.
It's hitting me hard that I so often say (and mean it) that I long for the Lord to create in me a pure and devoted heart, but with my focus pointed in a thousand different directions, even my longing itself is broken.
Hello, my name is Emily and I am addicted to social media. And Christ is working on that this week.
Day 2: Saturday
Without my iPod or iTunes playing the last two days, my world feels very quiet. I'm so very used to the crooning of voices and the strum of guitars as my background noise. Sitting in a room without it feels a little awkward, which bothers me. Silence should not feel uncomfortable. Stillness is a Biblical concept. I'm realizing that the lack of quiet in my life is something that has kept me from hearing the whispered voice of the Lord.
Of course Psalm 46:10 comes to mind, which says, "Be still and know that I am God," but another passage that has been on my heart the last two days is from 1 Kings 19:11-19. "The Lord said, 'Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by.' Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper. When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave."
The Lord often speaks to my heart through music, but He also whispers in the silence, murmuring to my heart in songs I can only catch if I turn my own noise off for a while. He asks me to sit quietly with Him and simply know that He is powerful and worthy to be praised.
|My front yard after a long rainfall today|
This morning at sunrise I helped out at the filming of a promotional video for a worship event on my college campus, and afterwards, we had a worship session, cameras off. After spending the last day and a half away from music, the sweet sounds of guitar and voices lifted to heaven swelled my heart with so much joy. Silence is of the Lord. Music is of the Lord. Both glorify Him. I desire to learn from both experiences.
A hard moment from today was that I didn't watch the A&M football game! As much of an unenthusiastic football fan that I am in general, I really do enjoy watching TAMU football. A little bit ago, I was told we won against Arkansas, so I cling to this piece of knowledge with happiness.
I have to admit that not tweeting a word since Thursday bothers me far more than it should. (I've ended up calling and telling my mom bizarre stories every few hours instead of tweeting them. Hi, Mom.) Here are some of the "gems" I've been itching to post on Twitter today.
- My roommates and I had a board/card game night. I won all the games. All of them. #success
- I nearly broke my arm by whacking a metal bar in the couch. My elbow looks like it has an elbow. The sofa is no longer my safe place.
- In the last 2 weeks, my neighbors have hosted belly dancing & salsa dancing performances in their yard w/ live music. #livingtheretiredlife
One year ago: Mirrors
Two years ago: Hotel Swimming Pools
Three years ago: Hug a Stranger