My eyes are still burning.

Yesterday, some of my friends and I did not have the class period after lunch, so we went to a store called T.J. Maxx, which my friends said is a "knock off store"?  I think that means that this is a store that carries things that are less expensive than if they were a a name brand store.  Anyways, it was quite fun to explore this place.

We found a doll that pees and poops, a figurine of a black Santa Claus (something that I had no idea existed and almost purchased), and some amazing old-fashioned hats.  I believe that we could have spent hours in this store and we would not have grown bored.

Towards the end of our exploration, we went to the book aisle, and I found something that shocked and appalled me.  It truly left me speechless. 

My friends were wandering to the picture frames when they returned to see me staring at this item with huge eyes.  I was almost catatonic. 

Maybe I should have poured bleach into my eyes.  Maybe I should have fled the store, screaming at the top of my lungs.  Now, all I can say is that I am traumatized for life... possibly even longer.

Are you curious now?  Are you already scrolling down to see what this horrible thing is?

Well, go ahead and look at your own risk.  I accept no liability for any side affects or PTSD that may occur from what you are about to see. 

Here we go.

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All I can ask is why? 

He had to try to destroy our ears when he was a contestant on American Idol.  Why burn out our eyes too?  Why do this to us?

Why draw out his fifteen minutes of infamy any longer than he has to?

Why this title?  "Dancing to the Music in My Head: Memories of the People's Idol."  He wasn't the people's idol.  He was the people's terror.  And "dancing to the music in my head" sounds almost schizophrenic. 

What on earth could he have endured in his life that is fascinating enough to write about in memoirs other than his frightening hair and murderous voice? 

No, I did not purchase this book.  I could not bring myself to endure the humiliation of having it in my book shelf.

My eyes are still burning.  Where is the bleach again?