Who is your best self?

Day 10: Who is your "best self"?

I was reading The Diary of Anne Frank recently and came across an entry where she was talking about how she had a different Anne for everyone.  She was a different person depending on who she was around.  At first, I thought to myself, "That's weird. Why would you change around people?  Just be yourself."  But you know, I don't think being a different person around others is necessarily a bad thing.

When I'm around different people, a different self of me does come out.  It's not like I don't act like myself.  I just adjust so they -and I- will be more comfortable together.  For example, with my best friend, I'm more personal.  We talk in depth a lot.  I'm more calm and quiet... not in an awkward-quiet way, but in a natural way.  With another best friend, I'm crazier.  We have crazy moments and are constantly thinking of adventures.  I'm also more complimentary.  With one of my guy friends, I joke around a lot more than I do with other people.  My personality shifts slightly depending on who I am around.  But all of these personalities are still me.  I'm definitely still me. :)

I know that's not entirely what this question means.  I think it's also asking what is the best part of me or what I like most about myself.

I like myself most when I'm serving others or helping someone.  My unselfish or compassionate self is probably my best self.  But of course... I see compassion as the most beautiful thing in life, according to day five of this blogging challenge, so that shouldn't seem like much of a surprise to all of you.

When I serve others, I feel joy and peace.  I feel like I'm fulfilling a piece of God's plan for me.  Serving others also gives me a feel-good feeling that nothing else can really replace.  So that's my best self.

To be honest, I feel really awkward writing this right now.  Like I can't share my best self without bragging.  I have a lot of bad selves, but that isn't the purpose of this question.  No, Emily.  Bad.  Why can't we share good things about ourselves without feeling guilty?

Here are your questions:
1. What is your best self?
2. Do you change slightly when you're around different people?

Okay, so I'm gonna say it...

Day 9: What song has moved you recently?

Songs constantly move me, but one that has re-captured my attention lately is "Say It" by Britt Nicole.  The lyrics have been tugging at my heart, so I think there is a message God has for me somewhere in this song.

Say It

Okay, so I'm gonna say it.
I'm not afraid to say it.
The clocks on my wall keep ticking,
The moments that I keep missing.
Okay, so I must confess now,
I've settled for so much less than
What You designed.
I'm not taking my life one day at a time.

'Cause life is short and quickly passing by.
Father, will You help me make the most of what is mine?
With eyes opened wide, I'm taking You in,
Making the time mean all that it can.
I don't need a sign. I just need to begin.
With every second of every minute,
I've living in it and that's how I say it.

I've got so much to discover,
A hand I could lend another,
A word that could bring some healing.
Is there any better feeling?
Hold up, gotta see the beauty.
Hold up, gotta let it move me.
I want to be here with You in the now.
I'm done missing out.

Chorus

Let me fall in Your arms.
Resting here in Your arms, I found...
A peace like I have never known, like I have never known.
Counting every star,
Nothing's ever too far with You here.
I see it all so clear.

Chorus

Pretty, isn't it?
What song has got you thinking lately?

I knew more when I was four.

Day 8: As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? What about now?

It really depends on the age. And to make these more interesting, I thought I'd share the few embarrassing little kid pictures I have on this computer, if I can find any.

Princess.jpgWhen I was around four, I wanted to be... (prepare yourself for a long list)
- Famous author
- Zoo keeper
- Vet
- Doctor like my dad
- Adventurer
- Rancher
And according to the picture to your left, I also wanted to be a fairy princess. Isn't that nice? I think I achieved that dream.

Big Ball_2.jpgWhen I turned eight or so, I wanted to be...
- International journalist... Mostly because of Buck Williams from the Left Behind books. I thought he was a beast. If I could have his job now, I'd still be an international journalist.
From the picture to your right, you can tell that I was definitely cut out to be a basketball star, wasn't I? I definitely had those skills in me. I was born to be the female Michael Jordan.
(Yes, I was homeschooled back then.)

Pictures of the rats 065.jpgAt ten, I wanted to be...
- Famous author
- Doctor like my dad

When I turned twelve or thirteen, I wanted to be...
- Famous author
- Counselor

W Twirling_2.JPGWhen I was fourteen/fifteen/sixteen, I wanted to be...
- Famous author (Do you see a trend here?)
- Missionary to a foreign country
- Someone working with a humanitarian organization

At seventeen, I wanted to be...
- Writer
- Editor/Literary agent
- Someone working with a humanitarian organization
- Blogger

P1000534-1.JPGAt eighteen, I want to be...
- I HAVE NO CLUE.
Seriously. I don't know what I want to be when I "grow up."

What about you?

What did you want to be when you were a little kid compared to now?
If you are already an adult, do you have the job of your dreams?

I love the smell of hope in the morning.

This is not the best poem I've written.  In fact, it's rather poorly written.  I'm not sure why, but I thought I'd share it anyways.

Bad Day

I've had a bad day. Yes, I feel down.
I'm ashamed and I'm lonely. I can't make a sound.

Here I am, Jesus. Please open my heart.
If I've not pleased You, then I'm ready to start.

I've had a bad day. I've messed up and failed.
You have shown me Your plans, but I gave up. I bailed.

Your mercy astounds me. You forgive every sin.
And You continue to love me when I fail yet again.

I've had a bad day, but I still feel Your love.
Despite my frustrations, only You are enough.

Emily Whelchel
March 24, 2011

Puppy Tummies

I know it's been a couple of weeks since I've shown any pictures of Jack, so I'll give several today.

Jack loves to be petted.  For some reason lately, Jack has been enjoying my company... a lot.  Constantly throughout the day, I'll hear a little scratch at my door.  When I open the door, Jack bursts in or runs to the top stair and rolls over on his back, begging for me to pet him.  His favorite place in my bedroom is my giant green pillow where he naps or sits quietly and watches me write.
I love the way Jack sleeps.  He often sleeps flat on his back with his little legs in the air.  The other night, I was rubbing his belly and he fell asleep that way.  When I walked away to go to my own bed, I couldn't help but chuckle.  Jack looked so small and vulnerable as he bared his tummy to the world, fast asleep.
I've been working on teaching Jack different tricks.  So far, I've taught him sit, stay, shake, lay down, roll over, circle, stick'em up/bang!, play dead, dance, and crawl.  He's a very bright dog.  I can practically see the little gears turning in his head as he tries to figure out what I want him to learn next.  Here's a picture of what he does when I point my hand at him in the shape of a gun and say, "Bang!"
And when I say, "You're dead."...
And finally, here's a picture of the normal goofy Jack I've grown to love.  Here he is just trying to get me to rub his belly.
Be sure to check out Jack's personal YouTube channel at JacktheDorkyYorkie.

Prank War: Embarrassing Moments

After accidentally placing our prank -a gay pride bumper sticker that said "I can't even drive straight!"- on the wrong car, Rebekah and I decided to try again.

The next night, we met each other at the theatre where Caleb was parked outside.  We took down the Converse shoes that hung from my mirror -my car's trademark- and carefully pulled into a parking spot a row across from Caleb's car.  Luckily, Caleb hadn't parked next to the front door, so we were out of sight.

Quickly, Rebekah and I stuck the sticker on the back of his car.  We were taking a picture when we heard a noise and spun around.  Two full buses of about seventy teens had pulled up beside us.  Seventy curious faces were pressed against the windows, watching us.  Immediately, we assumed they were kids from the theatre, so Rebekah and I panicked.

Instead of laughing and admitting we were caught... instead of simply playing it cool and starting to walk in the other direction... instead of strolling over to my car and pretending like nothing had ever happened... we instead shrieked and started to run.  And we ran!

Rebekah had knee surgery over Christmas Break, so she still can't run well.  Instead of running, she hobbled on her knee brace, struggling to move quickly.  I lost my flip flop halfway to my car and stubbed my toe, so I had to reach down, grab my shoe, and hop on one foot the rest of the way to the car, waving my arms to keep my balance.  All the while, the seventy kids in the buses watched us with confusion.

We hopped into my car, scrambling to start the engine and back out of the parking spot.  Instead of leaving the parking lot the normal way, we were still in panic mode and ran off the curb, making a loud thud as we went.  We sped away, leaving Rebekah's car behind us.

That was probably one of the more embarrassing moments in my life.

"We're caught.  They're going to tell Caleb.  We're so caught," we panted to each other in forlorn voices as we drove around a few times until the buses left.  It had been such a wonderful prank.  Perhaps the funniest of them all.  And now it had failed.

To make matters worse, Jack came along with us and peed and pooped in my car... something he's never done in his entire life, not even when he was a little puppy.  I have no idea what got into him that night.  He knows better than that.  The smell wasn't pleasant, for obvious reasons, so I had to roll down the windows of my car all the way home, shivering in the cold wind... and then clean up the mess as soon as I got to the house, standing outside in shorts and a t-shirt while scrubbing pee off my seat.  The night was an absolute fail.

Or so we thought.

Things soon got better.  My sister attends the same theatre as Caleb and when she got home, she said that their particular theatre doesn't have buses.  So those buses must have pulled in for another reason... and then they probably thought we were trying to break into Caleb's car.  We are entirely uncool car thieves, running away like crippled maniacs.  Thankfully, since Amy had gotten home, Caleb hadn't yet discovered the window decal.

In fact, later that night when my mom passed Caleb's car at the theatre, the sticker was still planted nicely on the window.  He was still oblivious.
Perhaps our plan had not failed after all.

This is why Rebekah and I make the best prank war team in the world.  Even when we fail, we win.

I need to recharge my batteries!

Day 7: What is your place of refuge?

My place of refuge is my bedroom.  Dorky, huh?

But it's the honest truth.  My mom always tells me that some people recharge their batteries when they're around other people (like my best friend Ali, for example).  When they're alone for too long at a time, they'll start to feel worn out and unhappy.  I'm the opposite.  I recharge by being alone in a peaceful, familiar environment.  I love to be around people, but if I'm around anyone for too long, I'll start to grow weary.  I need time to myself: at least a few hours a day.  That's how I recharge.

When Ali is at my house, we have to learn to live with each other.  Ali is the type who truly wants to spend time with me.  That's how she feels loved and that's how she recharges.  If I'm not careful, I'll hole away from her for a couple of days and she'll become hurt or worried that I'm mad at her, when really, I'm just recharging after a busy week at school.  On the other hand, Ali's learned that if we spend several days together without any alone time, I'll start to feel exhausted and unhappy, so she's realized that I need a few hours to myself each day.  It's like we're married. :)

When I'm alone, I read, write, play guitar, listen to music, have alone time with God, and just... soak in the peace.

I love peace and quiet.  Don't you?

And today's questions are...
1. What is your place of refuge?
2. Do you recharge by being alone or by being around people?

Update: Okay, I can't help but laugh.  Looking back, I'm not exactly sure why I chose the picture I did for today's blog post.  It was taken in my bedroom, so I guess that's the reasoning behind it, but still... it's an interesting picture for this topic.

Learning to trust God.

Day 6: Describe a specific moment where God obviously was working in your life.

There have been many moments where God has obviously worked in my life.  He's been involved in my life since day one.  But if I was to pick one moment, I'd have to pick an instance from the summer before my freshman year of high school.

My eighth grade year, I was struggling with severe depression and an addiction to cutting.  I hated myself and I wanted to die.  My parents had me see a counselor after a failed suicide attempt, but when you aren't willing to listen, you won't learn, and that's exactly what happened to me.

The summer before my freshman year of high school, I made a deal with God.  I know that's a bad thing to do, but I didn't care.  I had pretty much stopped believing in God anyways.  I openly denied His existence to my friends.  I was sure that if He actually existed, He would have taken away my depression long before.  He would make me happy again.  So yes, I made a deal with God, mostly so I could blame my future death on His lack of presence in my life.  I asked God to show me that He was working in my life over the summer or I would kill myself before school began.  My end of the deal was if He showed me that He could work in my life, then I would give myself to Him because I sure couldn't handle things on my own anymore.

Basically, over that summer, God used me in ways I never thought possible.  My parents forced me to attend this training called Christian Youth In Action that teaches teens how to witness to kids.  Since I didn't believe in God, that was a big problem.  I hated the training.  On the fourth day, we had to open air evangelize to children, and by accident, my leader approached a short, young-looking nineteen-year-old girl.  Humiliated and shy, I shared the gospel, expecting her to laugh and walk away, but much to my surprise, the girl asked Jesus into her heart that day.

\That night, I went home and wept.  For the first time, I knew that God had just worked through me without any effort on my part.

Over the course of the summer, I was given the opportunity to lead more than thirty people to Christ, both children and adults.  That was not me.  There was no way a shy, depressed, doubtful fourteen-year-old girl could have done something like that on her own.  I was so shy, I could hardly approach my friends, let alone a complete stranger.  God worked through me that summer.  There's no doubt.

I also went on a mission trip to Mexico City and was given the chance to work with kids living in poverty.  I got to share my testimony through an interpreter, the first time I'd ever done something like that before.  I learned what it meant to sacrifice my own comfort for the sake of somebody else.  I also was a counselor at Angel Tree Camp, a camp for kids with incarcerated parents.

By the end of that summer, there was no doubt in my mind.  God had worked through me.  From then on, I knew it would be a struggle for me to entirely give myself to Him.  Sometimes I still pull away.  Sometimes I clutch at my dreams and don't let Him take control, but I do have a deal to keep.  And my life is still His, even when I mess up.

How has God worked in your life?

Corny Blog

Day 5: What in life is most beautiful to you?

I'm the one who made up these questions for the 30 Day Blogging Challenge, but I have no idea what to say in response to this question.  Why did I choose to ask this?  Why?

What in life is most beautiful to me?  Hmm...

I'm afraid that no matter what I say, I'm going to sound totally corny, so beware now.  I'm wracking my brain for something that will sound totally deep, but I don't think I'm going to come up with anything good.

Okay, after spending the last seven minutes wondering what in life is most beautiful to me, I've got it.  And I'm not just saying this to sound deep, because I don't think it's that deep at all.  This is the truth.

The most beautiful thing to me is compassion.  I love to see compassion and empathy in other people.  When I see a person make a sacrifice to help someone in need, I almost always get chills on my arms.  God has made us to have compassion on one another, but it's been forgotten so often these days.  I love hearing stories about children and elderly and those living in third world countries and basically anyone who reaches out to help another human being.  That is one of the most wonderful things in the world.

Compassion.

Colossians 3:12
...clothe yourselves with compassion...

Compassion is beauty to me.  When I see compassion in the hearts of those around me, their actions and lives have never looked more beautiful.

Here are today's questions.
1. What in life is most beautiful to YOU?
2. Where have you seen compassion lately?

What is your dream career?

Day 4: What is your dream career?

This may seem ridiculously obvious to some people and just plain ridiculous to others, but my crazy "out there" dream career would be if I became a younger version of Beth Moore.  I love to write and I have a passion for helping others and for raising awareness for difficult issues like poverty and self injury.  I would love to write devotions and Bible Studies and use the gifts that God has given me to help young girls grow closer to Him.

If that doesn't work out, I wouldn't mind becoming a successful author. :) Not necessarily to the extent of Stephenie Meyer or J.K. Rowling, but successful enough to make a living.

On the side, I would love to travel to Africa with a humanitarian organization, serving the kids and raising awareness for their issues with my writing as well.

And finally, I wouldn't mind being a blogger.  As a career.  That might sound bizarre, but there are professional bloggers out there who write things like I do and get paid for it.  That would be very nice.

It makes me chuckle to see all of my multiple and crazy aspirations.  Does it make you chuckle?  Probably.  Above all, I know that God will help me to find joy in whatever I do with my life.

What is your dream career?

My Senior Prom

A few of my girl readers asked if I would share pictures of my prom dress.  Prom was on March 11, so I thought I'd go ahead and share pictures from that night.  This post will consist almost entirely of pictures, so get ready.  The captions will be below each photograph.
This is me right before prom.  You can't see my entire dress here, but you can see my makeup, the front of my hair, and the top of my dress.  I chose a dress that wasn't strapless, but instead had one strap over the shoulder.  Maybe it's just me, but I always feel much more modest when I have a strap of some sort, even if not that much of my skin is covered.  I did my own makeup.
This is my hair from the side.  It took about an hour to get done, but it held up the entire night.  By the end of the night, not a lock was out of place.  However, I did end up taking out 36 bobby pins, a rubber band, and three clips after it was all over.
This is me with my date, Caleb.  Yes, it's the same guy from the prank wars... Muber.  In all truth, we're good friends, no matter how much we torment each other.  Don't you think my corsage is pretty?
Caleb and I entertain ourselves in... unique ways.  In this picture, we were dancing and watching the people around us slow dance and stare lovingly and intensely into each other's eyes.  In fact, a lot of dates were staring so intensely that they weren't even speaking.  Caleb and I would often chatter throughout the dances, talking about random things.  We began to practice the intense, disturbing stare, looking deeply into each other's eyes without speaking.  Someone managed to capture this in a photograph.

We also had to mimic the awkward prom pose that so many people use when taking their prom pictures.  It's so incredibly awkward.  But we thought we'd take a shot anyways.
Doesn't Ali look pretty too?
And here are some of my best friends with all of our dresses.  From left to right: Rebecca, Rebekah, Ali, me, Brently.
And I had to show you a picture of me and my very tall friend, Zeek.
Caleb, me, Ali...
Making silly memories.
And of course, after prom we had to go to a little after party at a church to hang out.  We played Just Dance 2 (which I won the first time I'd ever played), Twister (which I did not win), and Truth or Dare.

So prom was fun.  We made great memories.  I hope you enjoyed my pictures.

Prank War: Mistaken Identities

Last week, Caleb attempted to prank Rebekah and me -the winning team- and failed miserably after he forgot the fact that girls will always stand up for girls, no matter what age they are.  A few days ago, Rebekah and I decided to prank Caleb in a small but quite embarrassing way.

Our prank would take the form of a window decal.

Most straight guys are generally insulted by anyone calling them gay, right?  Caleb is included in this category.  Imagine if we managed to stick a gay pride bumper sticker onto Caleb's back windshield and allowed him to drive around with it on the back of his car for a couple of days without realizing it... until one of his other friends finally pointed it out, much to his mortification.

Rebekah and I began our search for a gay pride bumper sticker.  We found one on the internet and printed it off on photo paper before self-laminating the "sticker" with masking tape.  It was rainbow-colored and bright, with the words "I can't even drive straight!" printed across the top.
The perfect tool for embarrassing Caleb.  We were sure to write "Muber!" on the back of the "sticker," so he'd know for sure it came from us.  Muber is Caleb's nickname that's a mixture between Frankie Muniz and Justin Bieber, his celebrity look-a-likes.
I played sleuth later on that day and casually asked Caleb about his schedule, pretending to be concerned about how busy he was... when in actuality, I was figuring out where and when Rebekah and I could sabotage him.  I also managed to overhear Caleb making lunch plans with some of his friends.  We had his schedule down.

Rebekah and I sneaked to the Italian food restaurant where Caleb was eating and saw the only blue car in the parking lot.  Automatically assuming it was Caleb's, we stuck the sticker on the back, took a couple of pictures, and drove away, chuckling to ourselves.  We'd succeeded again.  We couldn't help but feel delight at Caleb's upcoming mortification.

Later that night, as I was looking through the pictures from my camera, I noticed something horrible.  We'd put the sticker on the wrong car!  The blue car from our sticker prank was a different car from our Saran wrapping prank.  Looking at the two pictures together, even though one was taken in the dark, it's obvious the pale blueHonda Civic was not Caleb's car.

I immediately called Rebekah.  We were both horrified.  We'd pranked the wrong person.  Oh no!

Somewhere in my city, a stranger is wondering why on earth someone would put a gay sticker on the back windshield of their car.  I hope they got a good laugh out of that.  Rebekah and I sure did.

Our plan had been foiled, but not for long.

I'll share the next installment of our prank war on the twenty-sixth, so be sure to tune in.

Prank War: Girls Stand Up for Girls

A few days ago, I shared the first episode of the prank war between me and my friends.  Rebekah and I pranked the enemy- Caleb's- car with Saran wrap, red Kool-Aid, Vaseline, and chopped tuna.  The next morning, after church, Rebekah received a text from Caleb that said, "It's on!"  Of course, it was on the moment he cut Rebekah's hair, but boys are a bit slow.

In fact, when Caleb's mother asked him why we would prank him in the first place and he replied, "It's because I cut off a lock of Rebekah's hair," his mom laughed and said, "You deserved this then!"  Girls will always stand up for girls.  I keep trying to tell Caleb that.

My high school has the best principal in the entire world.  I'm not sure if she'd want her name shared, so I'll call her Mrs. L to be safe.  Mrs. L is funny, sweet, and understanding about things like prank wars.  Last year, she helped Rebekah and me prank Caleb after he stole Rebekah's keys and moved her car somewhere a block or two away from the school.  When Caleb went to gloat to Rebekah, she pretended to act surprised and said, "Caleb, what were you thinking?  I thought my car had been stolen, so I called the police.  I'm not kidding."

While Caleb was still processing this information, Mrs. L walked into the room with a solemn expression on her usually smiling face.  "Caleb, please come to the office with me," she said gravely.  When he asked why, she said, "There's a police officer here who needs to ask you a few questions."  Caleb flushed scarlet and followed Mrs. L to the office, visibly shaken.  A few minutes later, he burst back into the room, even redder.

And of course there are the stories about the time when Mrs. L sneaked up behind Caleb in the parking lot and dumped a bucket of water over his head, but that is ancient history.

Poor Caleb never seems to get into his mind that girls stand up for girls.  He didn't get this when I was a double agent pretending to be on his team last year, helping my team prank him over and over again.  He didn't get this fact again this week when he decided to prank us back for destroying his beloved car.

It was the middle of class.  I was walking through the halls to get a drink when I saw Mrs. L step into Rebekah's class and pull her out.  "Caleb has asked me to prank you and make it sound like you're going to get expelled for messing with his car.  He's under my desk, hiding, so try to act shocked, okay?"  Mrs. L led Rebekah into the office and sat her down on a chair, beginning a short speech about how Rebekah could either be suspended from school for a week or given a week of ISS (In School Suspension) after vandalizing another student's property.

Rebekah acted well, gasping and stammering and even pretending to cry.  When Caleb jumped from beneath the desk, shouting, "Aha! I got you!", Rebekah and Mrs. L both started to laugh.

Caleb's prank failed.  Again.

Now it's our turn.

Words, Hope, and Africa

Day 3: What are three of your biggest passions?

Before I answer this question, I'd like to put Jesus at the top of this list, but because that is an obvious Sunday school answer to this sort of question, I'm not going to include Him in my list today.  Just putting that out there.

Writing.
Writing has been a passion of mine for as long as I can remember.  I've wanted to be a writer since I was three or four years old.  I made up stories before I could actually read.  Nothing else on earth gives me that same feeling of excitement and joy than writing does.  It's truly a passion of mine.  If I go more than a day without writing, my heart starts to ache in my chest.  I feel like a day has been purposeless if I haven't written something.

Writing is a love that God has given me.  Whether He's given me talent is up to you to decide, but even if I'm an awful writer, that's okay.  That won't change my passion for writing.  I know a lot of people find my passion for writing to be funny.  Most people hate it... like my friends, for example.  But I don't.  I have a love for writing the way some people love nature and the way some people love music.

When I write, I create.

Africa.
My heart hurts for everyone in the world who is struggling with poverty, but for some reason, a huge chunk of my heart lies with the people in Africa.  When I visited Kenya, my love for Africa expanded even more... and I didn't think that was possible.  The people I met were filled with joy and peace and beauty.  They taught me so much, even though they had so little.

No matter what I end up doing with my life, I know God is going to use me to help Africa in some way.  He's given me that love.

Those struggling with self worth.
As a young teen, I struggled with depression, suicidal thoughts, and self injury.  I've been through those emotions and feelings of absolute hopelessness.  I was once a little girl who felt worthless and unlovable.  I hurt myself because I thought I deserved the pain.  I thought I deserved to die.  As I've grown older, the Lord has shown me how much worth I truly have.  I am His treasured possession.  At times, that is a hard thing to accept, especially after I've taught myself to feel stupid and ugly and without value.

I feel a great empathy for other young girls who are struggling with these issues.  I know what it's like to feel worthless and I don't want any other girl to have to feel the same way.  It is sometimes difficult for me to forgive myself for the things I've done.  I've damaged God's temple.  I hated His creation when I hated myself.  When I have the chance to talk to girls who are struggling with the same things that I once struggled with, in a way, I feel redemption.  The Lord can use my most shameful and painful mistakes to glorify Him and help others.

For the rest of my life, I want my struggles and past to be available for the Lord to use for His glory.  If there is a young girl who will be encouraged by my testimony, then I will be eager to share it with her.

No girl should ever feel ugly or worthless.

Here are today's questions:
1. What are your three biggest passions?
2. Have you ever struggled with self worth?  

Unseen Footprints

Day 2: Has a painful experience ever had a positive impact on your life?

When I was fifteen, a close friend of mine committed suicide.  That was probably the most difficult time of my entire life.  It's hard to accept the fact that your friendship isn't enough to keep someone alive.

Before Gatlin died, I had never really experienced death.  A couple of great grandmas had passed away and I was extra close to one of them, but they were old and their deaths didn't come as a shock like Gatlin's did.  I had never lost someone close to me... and I had certainly never known someone whose death was self-inflicted.  I think it's most difficult to come to terms with a suicide, more than with any other death, simply because you keep asking yourself, "Why?" and "Could I have prevented this?"

Guilt was a huge issue after Gatlin committed suicide.  I couldn't stop wondering -and I still sometimes wonder- whether or not I could have done anything to keep him alive.  I didn't understand why he would end his life over something so silly.  I didn't understand why he would willingly hurt every single person who knew him.

When we were both in middle school and struggling with depression, Gatlin and I made a promise to each other, "If you go, I go."  We basically agreed that if one of us committed suicide, the other one would too.  We were each other's accountability in a way.  Gatlin died years after we made this "deal."  Although I had already overcome my depression, I was suddenly faced with the issue of our promise.  I felt deep down like I was breaking my word, even though dying would have been much worse than not keeping a silly promise.  And why did Gatlin get an escape from life when I had to stay on earth, suffering without him?  It just didn't seem fair.

Another struggle I dealt with was with God.  The summer before Gatlin died, I had rededicated my life to Christ.  I gave every part of me to the Lord after realizing I could never handle it on my own.  However, after losing Gatlin, I was faced with the painful reality that even though I had found the Lord again and found joy, there was still suffering.  I didn't like that at all.  I was angry at God for a long time.  "After all I've given You, after all You've promised... You let this happen?  How could You?"  I began an ongoing struggle with God.  Why did He let me feel so much hurt?

The first time I opened my Bible after Gatlin's death, I stumbled across Psalm 77:19.  It was an obscure verse.  I'd never paid attention to its words before, but this time, they seemed to blaze through my mind.

Psalm 77:19
Your path led through the sea,
Your way through the mighty waters,
though Your footprints were not seen.

This verse made me realize that even though I couldn't see God anywhere in the chaos after Gatlin's death, He was still there.  My grief and guilt were like an ocean of churning waters.  I was nearly drowning.  However, God's footprints were silently moving through my life, slowly healing my wounds and bringing my head above water.  I wasn't going to drown.  He was there, even though I couldn't see Him.

It's been a little over three years since Gatlin died.  These three years have brought a transformation in my life.  I've been forced to trust the Lord in difficult circumstances.  Without Him, I could not have made it through.  He has shown me that I can survive anything with His help.

While I still ache over Gatlin's death and wish he never would have made the decision to end his own life, God has turned his death into a source of healing and transformation.  So in a way, the painful experience of losing my friend to suicide has made a positive impact on my life.  I've learned how to be strong.  I've learned how to trust God, even when it hurts.  And I've learned that it's possible to heal.   

I became a mother of sorts at fifteen.

Day 1: What is a changing moment in your life?

A changing moment in my life was when I got to know the little girl I sponsor through Christian Relief Fund.  We'd corresponded through letters for two years, but when I actually met her in person, my entire world seemed to spin out of control.

Lavin is beautiful, smart, and heart-breakingly sweet, but she lives in a world of poverty.  Everything around her seems dead set on keeping her poor and hungry and uneducated.  Her father died from AIDS years ago.  She lives in a mud shack.  Her one pair of school shoes (when I met her) was tattered and torn.  It was painful to see this little girl I had gotten to know surrounded by so much hurt and sadness.

When I agreed to sponsor Lavin, I agreed to take care of her as an adoptive parent of sorts.  I provide food, clean water, medical care, clothes, and an education to a little girl I've grown to love so much.  The picture to your left is of dorky-freshman-in-high-school me eagerly holding up my first picture of Lavin.

I remember the first time I saw Lavin in person.  I was standing in a crowd of uniformed children who were all chattering in Swahili and broken English.  "Do you know Lavin?" I asked them, searching the crowd for a familiar face... for the face of the child who called herself my daughter.  "Is Lavin here?"

"Lavin, Lavin. Where is Lavin?"  Voices ricocheted through the group of children and heads began to turn, searching for my sponsored child.

Finally, a young girl with a painfully shy smile was nudged to the front of the group.  Lavin.  She looked at me with hesitant brown eyes, obviously unsure of what to say to me in person.

"Lavin, do you know who I am?" I asked quietly.

She nodded her head.  "Emily," she whispered.  I had sent her a few pictures of myself each year, which is how she would recognize me by sight.

We embraced.

By the end of that week, we weren't only acquaintances anymore.  Lavin wasn't just a stiff-looking child from a photograph.  She was my daughter, my sister, and my friend.  I loved her.  I loved to talk with her and sing with her and see the look of pride that fell over her face when other kids would watch her enviously.  Lavin's sponsor had come to visit her.

Sponsoring Lavin was a huge step in my life.  Meeting her was even bigger.

Lavin has taught me to be unselfish and joyful, no matter what circumstances have been thrust my way.  In her last letter to me, Lavin said she wanted to be a lawyer so she could stand up for the street children.  If that's truly what she wants to become, then I'll do whatever I can to help her get there.

I love Lavin.

If you've met your sponsored child, you know the feeling.  If you don't sponsor a child yet, you can do so here, at Christian Relief Fund's website.

Here are today's questions for you to answer:
1. Do you sponsor a child? How has that changed you?
2. What's a changing moment in YOUR life?

My dog has a bigger wardrobe than I do!

So you want a Yorkie?  Here are a few more tips on what you'll need for your new puppy.

Bedding
Since Yorkies are such small pets, yours will need proper bedding at night if you don't plan to sleep with him.  Jack used to sleep with my parents, but since he wakes up at about six a.m. each morning and tackles the face of whoever's nearby, he got kicked out fast.  We keep him in his playpen at night with a little bed, a Snuggie dog pillow, a blanket, and a kennel in case he wants to curl up in the dark.  He never sleeps in one place.  One night he'll sleep on the Snuggie pillow and the next he'll sleep in his kennel.  We also give Jack a potty pad in case he needs to use the bathroom in the night and a stuffed toy to keep him quiet when he wakes up early.

If you get your Yorkie puppy as a baby, he may have issues crying in the night.  We bought a hot water bottle in a dog-shaped pillow and would place it in Jack's playpen at night with him when he was a baby.  It took a couple of weeks before he stopped crying at night, but the hot water bottle was ultimately a great idea.  Whatever you do, if your puppy cries during the night, don't go and hold it until it's quiet.  If you leave it alone, it will eventually go to sleep.

Collars/Leashes/Identification
Since most Yorkies are (and probably should be) house pets, I don't think that a collar or identification tags are really that necessary for every day use.  Jack has a tiny collar and we put it on him if we take him on a road trip and have to use a leash.  I recommend that you get an inexpensive collar and leash because you may need it at times, but I don't think a big metal tag is necessary since Yorkies are so small.  You may want to have your vet implant an identification chip somewhere on your actual dog in case he runs off, but that's also entirely optional.

Clothes
If you live in an area with lots of snow and cold weather, then you may want to consider getting your Yorkie a sweater of some sort.  Yorkies aren't so fragile that they have to have a coat on every time they go outside, but since they don't have an undercoat like most dogs and they're so small, they can get cold easily.

A sweater is entirely optional, but if your puppy will be out in the snow for very long at a time, it may be something to consider.  Personally, I love puppy sweaters.  Jack practically has a little wardrobe of his own.

Be sure to check out Jack's own YouTube channel at JacktheDorkyYorkie.

Music and Disappointment

The Top 10 Billboard hits don't change much each week, but I'll go ahead and review what I haven't already.  If there isn't a short review under a song, that means I've reviewed it in the past.

Honestly, guys, I absolutely hate having to "thumbs down" all of these songs.  I mean, all of the songs in the top five are thumbs down.  That's ridiculous and it hurts a little to have to put down so much popular music.  But when you read the lyrics to the songs, there's no other way.  I can't give a thumbs up to a gay pride song or to a song with the f-word in the title or to a song entirely about casual sex and lust.  I just can't.

I don't like the stereotype that Christians can't listen to any popular secular music.  I listen to a lot of secular music.  But what's the most popular right now isn't positive or appropriate.  Whatsoever.  That makes me sad.

1. THUMBS DOWN: "Born This Way" by Lady Gaga

2. THUMBS DOWN: "F*** You (Forget You)" by Cee Lo Green

3. THUMBS DOWN: "S&M" by Rihanna

4. THUMBS DOWN: "F**kin Perfect" By P!nk

5. THUMBS DOWN: "On the Floor" by Jennifer Lopez

6. ISH: "Grenade" by Bruno Mars

7. ISH: "Blow" by Ke$ha
First of all, I love the beat to this song.  Amazing dance beats just get to me.  When I first saw the title to this song, I'll admit I started to feel nervous, but in some ways, I was pleasantly surprised.

I wasn't a big fan of the first verse, that said, "Drink that Kool-Aid. Follow my lead. Now you're one of us," after the cult massacre that happened in Waco a while back  I don't like the idea that partying with Kesha is compared to giving up your free will and joining a cult of sorts.  Several times in the song, it says, "Let me see them Hanes."  Since Hanes is a brand of underwear, I don't like that at all.  And finally, I don't like what seems to be the major theme of this song: partying and not caring what anybody else thinks.  "We're taking control. We get what we want. We do what you don't."  That's a self-centered, apathetic attitude that can only bring eventual harm to yourself and to those around you.

Overall, however, I'm going to give the song an "ish."  While I'm not a huge fan of several of the lyrics, Kesha abstained from cussing and explicit sexual references, which is better than a lot of her songs.  The song is catchy but not downright dirty.  I'll leave it up to you to decide whether or not you'd like to add it to your playlist.   

8. ISH: "E.T." by Katy Perry, featuring Kanye West

30 Day Blog Challenge

I enjoyed my 30 Day Blog Challenge from September, so I thought I'd go ahead and participate in another one.  However, I have other things I'd like to continue writing about, so I think I'll only participate in the blog challenge four days a week, making this more like a six or seven week blog challenge.  Oh well.

On Mondays, I'll continue my Billboard Top 10 songs review.  I'll post my Jack blogs on Sundays and my Prank War updates on Saturdays while they still last.  If I have anything else to write about, I'll just go ahead and write about it on a day of the week when I should be answering a blog challenge question.

Got it?  Good.

This 30 Day Challenge will be a little deeper than my last one, which consisted of several silly and fun questions, like "What are 5 things you can't live without?"  This one will be more difficult and complicated to write about.

I'd like you to answer the questions as well.  I'd love it if you left your answers in the comments, but if you don't have time or the question is too personal, then write about it in your own personal journal or in your head as you go throughout your day... or even write about them in your own blog.

Here's the schedule.

1. What was a changing moment in your life?
2. Has a painful experience ever had a positive impact in your life?
3. What are three of your biggest passions?
4. What is your dream career?
5. What in life is most beautiful to you?
6. Describe a specific moment where God obviously was working in your life.
7. What is your place of refuge?
8. As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? What about now?
9. What song has moved you recently?
10. Who is your "best self"?
11. What is your favorite age?
12. If you knew you would die in two weeks, would you change anything about your life now?
13. Why do you keep a blog? What is your favorite part of keeping a blog? Least favorite?
14. When do you feel most alive?
15. Have you ever regretted something you DIDN'T do?
16. How do you spend time alone?
17. What kind of impact do you want to make on the world?
18. If you had a friend who talked to you like you talk to yourself, how long would you allow that person to be your friend?
19. What is your favorite Bible verse and why?
20. Are you an optimist, a realist, or a pessimist? Which would you rather be?
21. What do you miss most about your childhood?
22. How are you inspired?
23. What is a quality about yourself that you like? That you're striving to change?
24. Who is someone who changed your life for the better?
25. How is God working in your life right now?
26. If you could write a letter to your thirteen-year-old self, what would you say?
27. What do you like best about each member of your family?
28. If you could do one thing to make the world a better place, what would you do?
29. At this time in your life, do you think you're fulfilling God's plans for you?
30. Share your testimony.

I hope you like these questions.  If anything, I'm writing these for myself, because maybe there are some lessons I need to learn.

I'll begin Wednesday.

Prank War: All Tied Up

After Caleb the enemy cut Rebekah's hair when she wasn't looking, Rebekah and I began to devise a plot to make Caleb sorry for ever trying to start a prank war with us again.  Apparently our former plots hadn't been enough.  We needed something better.

Rebekah and I decided to prank Caleb in a way that wasn't anything too bad, but enough to make him think, "Do I really want to start something with them again?"  We decided to prank his car.  What's nice is the fact that Caleb has a fairly new car that he loves... but he has to park it in the driveway every night.  His driveway is dark, in the alley, and is at the opposite end of the house from his room, so it takes a lot of noise for him to hear anything.

We made a visit to the local Wal-Mart and bought a few supplies.  Vaseline, two big containers of powdered Kool-Aide, two packages of Saran Wrap, and five cans of chopped tuna.  We also grabbed a bag of stale Cheerios from Rebekah's house.

Okay, we both aren't looking our best in the photograph to your right, but this shows Rebekah and me in our all-black clothes.  We were decked out for crime. ;)

When we first drove to Caleb's house, we were horribly disappointed because his car wasn't in his driveway.  However, it was after dark, so we decided to do something to his house.  We'd only managed to splatter disgusting tuna all over his front step (it smells horrible and leaves an interesting stain until the next time it rains), pour out the bag of Cheerios on his front sidewalk, and dump one can of purple powdered kool-aide in his yard before a light turned on in Caleb's house.  To keep it safe, we bolted into our get-away car and drove around for a few minutes.

It turns out, as we were pranking Caleb's house, he had just gotten home.  Thankfully, he never saw us, so we simply went to his driveway and began our real prank.  We wrapped his car in 400 feet of saran wrap and then stuck the tubes on his antenna.  We didn't have a whole lot of Saran Wrap, so we put our focus on the two front doors, tying them shut.

I completely emptied out our tub of Vaseline and rubbed it all over the saran wrap.  400 feet of saran wrap covered in Vaseline is one disgusting mess to clean up.  (For other prankers, be sure never to purposely put Vaseline directly onto a car because it can mess up the paint.)

Finally, Rebekah poured the second can of red Kool-Aide onto the sticky Vaseline, dying everything a sticky red color.  We also dumped two more cans of chopped tuna on top of that to make everything smell absolutely lovely.

And there you have it.  Our first prank of the war.  It wasn't terrible, but it was intimidating, a hassle to clean up, and it looked quite funny.  Most of all, it showed Caleb that he shouldn't mess with a girl's hair.

I'll write about Caleb's failed return prank soon.

The Essentials in Life... for a Puppy, at Least

Food and Water
The good thing about owning a small dog is that it won't eat much.  Jack will eat about half a bowl of dog food a day, but his bowl isn't very big.  Since we've gotten Jack six months ago, we've only had to purchase two or three bags of dog food.

See the bowl in the picture to your left?  That's actually the smallest food bowl they had available at Pet Co.  Jack's grown into it more now, but when he was a puppy, he could have fit inside the thing.

Because Yorkies are small, you have to feed them more often than you would a big dog because their metabolisms are fast.  I recommend keeping a bowl that contains a little bit of food out most of the time or at least designating two or three meal times a day for your puppy.  Good "meal times" would be when you eat so your puppy won't beg at your feet.

Your vet will be able to recommend the best kinds of food for your puppy.  You should also use the same brand of food your breeder used and possibly adjust your puppy to a new brand later on.  If you abruptly switch brands of food, your puppy could get sick.

We have a bowl that has constantly running water for our three of our dogs that Jack uses.  If you don't have fresh water available, be sure to change out your puppy's water bowl at least once a day.

You should be able to find small puppy bowls for only a couple of dollars at your local pet store or even Wal-Mart.

Toys
These are more of a luxury, but please know that you'll need to get your puppy at least one toy to keep up his imagination.  I heard that three toys is the perfect amount for a dog because he'll never get bored or spoiled.  I guess Jack is spoiled because he has about fifteen toys.  He shares them with the other dogs, of course, but he dominates them.

A lot of toys can be handmade, like Christmas ornaments.  Those round shiny balls with the knob at the top?  Jack loves them.  They're his favorite toy.  He always loses them though.  We also get Jack squeaky balls and small stuffed animals because he loves fetch and tug of war.  He plays with a few toys left over from our previous dog, Coco, who didn't work out in our household because she attacked our dog Boo.  He also loves makeshift toys like toilet paper rolls and plastic cups.  Jack will basically play with anything.

To the right, you can see Jack's expression when he really, really, really, really wants me to play with him.  Cute, isn't it?

Be sure to check out Jack's YouTube channel at JacktheDorkyYorkie.

Prank War: Winner of Losers

So last spring my friends and I had a prank war.  We split into teams and basically took turns pranking each other.  My side did pretty well, if I do say so myself. :)  Our best prank was when we filled one guy's car up to the windows with shredded paper.

The war has begun again.  While it was complex and fought by many last year, we're trying to keep it small this year.

Let me introduce you to the enemy, Caleb a.k.a. Muber, pronounced MYOO-buhr.  Muber comes from a mixture of Frankie Muniz and Justin Bieber, Caleb's celebrity look-a-likes.  You can check out a picture of Muber and me below.  Remember... this is the enemy.
The best and smartest team is made up of me and Rebekah.  I've written about Rebekah in a few previous blogs, but I'll go ahead and introduce her again.  We've been friends since early elementary school when we were neighbors.  We make a great team because we both have many schemes up our sleeves.  Check out Rebekah and I in the picture below.
The war started up again when Caleb cut a lock of Rebekah's hair last week.  He cut her hair!  You should never cut a girl's hair without her permission... never.  That's suicide!  Immediately, Rebekah and I decided to get Caleb back in a way he wouldn't forget.  We began to devise a plan.

Be sure to check back for more updates about our war.  We've been taking lots of pictures, so get ready to chuckle. :)

Do you have any prank ideas?

Vets and Groomers

Are you considering adopting a Yorkie puppy?  Then keep reading.

Vet Bills
One of the biggest expenses involved in taking care of a puppy is vet bills.  We've had to take Jack in for his shots.  He's gotten sick once since we've had him and we ended up taking him to the vet and getting him some antibiotics for a stomach bug.  We also had to get Jack neutered when he turned six months old.

Your vet will help you get a schedule down to ensure that you get your puppy all the right vaccinations, but you've also got to make sure that you have a little emergency fund in case he gets sick or hurt.  Yorkie puppies are super bold, so they often think they're stronger than they are.  There have been a few instances where Jack has climbed to the very top cushion of the sofa and jumped off bravely and we've been afraid that he might snap a little leg if he isn't careful.

If you don't think you can afford the vet bills, then you probably aren't ready to get a puppy.

Grooming
If you're getting a Yorkie, be ready to fork over some money for a groomer unless you're good at grooming dogs.  Yorkies have hair that is similar to humans' because it's without an under layer.  It can easily get matted or greasy.  It also grows pretty fast.  We take Jack to a groomer to be trimmed generally about twice a month, but we like his fur to stay short.

When Jack was a little puppy, we couldn't have his body trimmed because he still had his puppy coat.  The groomer told us that if you cut a Yorkie's baby coat, there's a chance it might never grow back or even fall out.  Now we have Jack's fur cut short each time he goes to the groomer.  I ask for the "puppy cut," which is basically an adult replica of a Yorkie puppy's hair length.  I'm not a big fan of the long and flowing locks and the pretty bows, at least not for my manly Jack. ;)

Did you know that all Yorkies look basically the same when they're little puppies?  They all have fluffy bear-like faces and fur that is dark and reddish brown.  As they get older, their puppy coats will fall out and change color and that's when they'll start to look different.  It's difficult to know what colors you're going to get when you adopt your Yorkie as a puppy.  He could be blue (dark gray) or gold or silver or beige.  It really depends on his parents.  I enjoy the surprise.

Jack's fur does tend to get greasy, just like a human's, so we usually bathe him once or twice a week.  Since Jack is currently three and a half pounds and nearly full grown, a few inches of water in the sink will be good enough for him.  I usually shower with Jack every four or five days.  He enjoys biting at the water and trying to hide from the spray.

Because you'll need to bathe your Yorkie fairly often, try to get a moisturizing shampoo or a conditioner.  Also, try to brush your Yorkie before you give him a shower because the water can cause tangles to turn into matts.  And if your puppy gets matts, he'll have to be shaved.  Yikes, right?

Be sure to check out Jack's YouTube channel called JacktheDorkyYorkie. 

Get Outta My Head!

If I don't include a review of today's Billboard Top 10 songs, that means I've reviewed the song in the past, so check it out in one of my previous articles.

1. THUMBS DOWN: Born This Way" by Lady Gaga

2. THUMBS DOWN: "F*** You (Forget You)" by Cee Lo Green

3. ISH: "Grenade" by Bruno Mars

4. THUMBS DOWN: "F***in' Perfect" by P!nk

5. THUMBS DOWN: "S&M" by Rihanna

6. THUMBS UP: "Firework" by Katy Perry

7. THUMBS DOWN: "Tonight (I'm Lovin' You)" by Enrique Iglesias

8. ISH: "E.T." by Katy Perry, featuring Kanye West
This song is definitely interesting.  I couldn't find a music video for "E.T.", but it's apparently about a girl who falls in love with a guy whose love is so amazing, it is extraterrestrial.  "Boy, you're an alien, your touch so foreign. It's supernatural, extraterrestrial."   While nothing in this song is straight up explicit, there are some innuendos that make me feel a bit uncomfortable.  "I wanna walk on your wave length and be there when you vibrate. For you, I'll risk it all."  The song seems to be made up of sexual undertones.  And even in the chorus-- "your touch so foreign"-- the song seems to be revolving around lust.

"Kiss me, ki-ki-kiss me. Infect me with your love and fill me with your poison. Take me, ta-ta-take me. Wanna be a victim. Ready for abduction."  I don't like how Katy Perry is describing love as a poison or infection.  You shouldn't feel like a victim when you falls in love.  Love isn't victimizing and no girl should ever be victimized by love.  While I know Katy Perry is only using those words as a figure of speech, I still don't like the wording.  I'm going to give the song an "ish" and let you decide for yourself.

This song reminds me of a Christian song by Group 1 Crew called "Outta Space Love."  You can listen to it here. 

9. THUMBS DOWN: "On the Floor" by Jennifer Lopez, featuring Pitt Bull
You may have seen the music video for "On the Floor" premier on American Idol Thursday night.  I wasn't a big fan of most of the immodest outfits on the video.  In fact, I made my little brother look away for most of the video.  "On the Floor" is basically a dance song with a catchy beat, but I'm not a big fan of its content.

Pitt Bull uses some dirty slang that I don't want to repeat on my blog.  Drug use is mentioned. "All I need is some vodka and some chunka coke."  Drinking is mentioned several times and in a way that's more about getting drunk than drinking in moderation.  "Don't stop. Get it moving. Put your drinks up. It's getting ill. It's getting sick on the floor."  Nothing about this song seems very positive or uplifting.  I wouldn't recommend that you add it to your playlist.  From the same Group 1 Crew album as I mentioned before, perhaps you could try out "Live It Up" instead, which you can listen to here.    

10. THUMBS DOWN: "I Need a Doctor" by Dr. Dre, featuring Eminem and Skylar Grey

Getting Our Yorkie

Upon request, today's post is about how I take care of my seven-month-old Yorkie puppy, Jack.  I thought I would go ahead and make a series out of this because there is a lot of information involved in taking care of a puppy and I have plenty of pictures to share. :)

Today I'll explain why I came to choose a Yorkie in the first place.

I always thought that Yorkies were these tiny, fragile dogs with hair that would take longer to fix than mine.  Honestly, if someone would have asked me two years ago if I wanted a Yorkie as a pet, I would have laughed and said no way.  I don't like yippy teacup dogs.  I like small dogs, but dogs that have personalities.

My mom's friend got a Yorkie on a spur-of-the-moment purchase, from a pet store, of all places.  Everyone was shocked that she would actually buy a pet shop puppy, but he ended up being absolutely adorable.  I fell in love.

This other puppy wasn't the stereotypical Yorkshire Terrier I had always thought about.  He was tiny, yes, but he was as rambunctious and bold as a big dog.  He had a huge personality.  In fact, he was hilarious.

Since my little brother was finally old enough for my family to get a small dog, my family decided to start researching Yorkies.  According to what we read, they were clever and full of personality.  All of the resources said that we could teach Yorkies to not be yippy or scared and we didn't have to keep their hair long and girlie, like in the picture above.

We began our search for a Yorkie breeder and we found one who lived in a town nearby.  We spoke with the owners and then went to visit them.  They had a small litter of only two puppies.  There was a girl and a boy.  The little girl was trembling and shaking.  If any of us tried to hold her, she flinched away from us and tried to hide.  On the other hand, the little boy was chasing the other dogs in the room and playing tug of war with us and jumping into our arms to try to lick our faces.  He was adorable.  We went home with him that night and named him Jack.  After Jack the Ripper, interestingly enough.

I took the picture to your right the night we brought Jack home.  Wasn't he tiny and cute?  I loved his teddy bear face.

We actually probably took our puppy home a little too early at only six and a half weeks, now that I look back, but those specific breeders encouraged it, so we did.  I have to say though, if you get your puppy as early as we got Jack, be sure to socialize him and introduce him to hectic and crazy environments so he won't be a shaky dog when he grows up.  You're taking the place of his mommy.  It also helped that we have two older dogs who adopted Jack as their own after a few weeks of adjustment and taught him the way things go around our house.

I adore Jack.  He has the biggest personality out of all of our dogs.  He's bold and playful and intelligent.  He learns tricks like crazy and tries desperately to please me.  He can play for hours upon hours at a time, but when I sit down to read or watch TV, he'll curl up right next to me and fall asleep with his chin on my knee.  I love him.

My dog enjoys TV.

I didn't take many pictures of Jack this week.  In the early afternoons, when I just get home from school, eat lunch, and watch an episode or two of "Monk" on TV, Jack always takes a nap on the cushion by my head.  He stands and watches me eat for a few minutes and then curls up and falls fast asleep right next to me.  And when Jack sleeps, it takes a lot to wake him up.

I love this time of day when Jack is sleepy because he lets me cuddle with him.  Normally, Jack is feeling bouncy and excited.  He brings me his toys to play fetch or tug of war or he runs up to me and growls to try to taunt me into chasing him around the living room.  If I don't chase him, he'll try to chase me.

But when Jack is feeling tired, he'll lay right down next to me and let me kiss him and hug him and play with his little feet.  I love cuddling with my baby boy.  I love trying to wake Jack up after he falls asleep.  It's a game of sorts.  I can blow on his face and pull on his paws and ruffle his fur and he doesn't usually even bother to open his eyes and look at me.  He stays fast asleep, curled into a tiny little ball.

Have you noticed how silver Jack is getting?  His back is still black, but his face and paws and chest are all becoming silver and gold.  He's getting so old!  His layers under his baby fur on his back are silvery, so I think he may get a little lighter than he is right now. 

Jack is seven months old and about three and a half pounds.  We think he's basically full grown.

Sometimes if I continue to mess with him while he's asleep, he flops over onto his side or even onto his back with his little legs sticking straight up in the air.  He never opens his eyes though.

And when I've finished with my TV show and stand up to go upstairs, Jack is suddenly wide awake and leaps from the couch in a fit of excitement.

Oh, puppies.