Waging War

WARNING: This is silly and has no point other than to make me laugh.

Today Rebekah came over and waged a war with me.  This battle was long-anticipated and much-deserved.  A huge fire-anthill sits on the roadside down where I park my car next to the barn.  It is not welcome there, since I must walk that road several times a day, but they won't seem to leave.

See, I have a grudge against fire ants.  I have ever since I was attacked by the inhabitants of another anthill when I was innocently standing in a field with my friend Stephanie several months ago.  I received so many bites that I still bear the scars.

Fire ants are despicable to me.  (Don't get too heated.  I'm kidding... kind of.)

Rebekah and I decided to make them leave.  Earlier in the day, I had stacked rocks atop the entrance to the hill, but since they were still milling about, my attempt hadn't done a whole lot of good.

Although I hate fire ants, I'm also terrified of them.  After all, they left me scarred.  Rebekah wasn't afraid much at all, so she boldly stepped about the anthill... until one of them jumped onto her shoe and bit onto the leather.  We laughed (and screamed a little) as Rebekah took off the shoe, shook it around, and the ant continued to cling onto the strap with its little jaws.  Crazy little thing.

Rebekah and I were ready to fight fire (ants) with fire.

We had one small firecracker left over from the fourth of July, so Rebekah stuck it right inside the anthill and after much struggle to get the thing lit, we attempted to blow the ants to kingdom come.  Unfortunately, the firecracker was pitiful and didn't do a whole lot more than anger the ants, for good reason.

A few sparklers were also left over, so we lit a single sparkler and held it over the entrance to the anthill.  This did a little bit more damage, but ants aren't stupid.  They fled from the flame.  Our intention was to destroy their hill and force them to leave, not necessarily kill as many ants as possible.  Sadly, all we did was singe a few grains of gravel and rock.  The sparkler didn't do much.

Our last idea was to flood the anthill.  My dad warned us that this wouldn't do a whole lot... since, after all, what do ants do when it rains?  I still don't know the answer to that.  But Rebekah and I were determined, so we filled two big pitchers of water and carefully flooded the entrance to the hill.

It turned from a small puddle...

...to a gaping crater.

Damage had finally been done.  The anthill was in ruins, with several gaping holes, saturated with water, singed from the fire, and the ants were scattering, just like we had hoped for.  Rebekah found and exterminated their queen.  Our work was finished. 

Rebekah and I celebrated together as dark storm clouds gathered overhead, our favorite weather.  Victory was ours.  The fire ants are welcome to leave and create a new hill somewhere, so long as it isn't on the pathway I walk a few times each day and night.

It was a fun day.