Before I Leave

Tomorrow's the day I leave for Kenya, Africa!

God has been so faithful throughout this entire process, helping me to raise everything I needed in five weeks, bringing so much prayer and encouragement through loved ones, and helping my grandma to get to go along with our team last-minute.

I'll be posting pre-written prayer requests every day that I'm gone, for those of you friends who would like to partner with us in prayer.  I'll post my daily journal I will keep when I get home.  Also, if you'd like to see some pictures in advance, be sure to follow my instagram and Christian Relief Fund's instagram.  We'll be posting some neat pictures of the kids whenever we have internet!

Thank you so much for your prayers.  I feel them!  The Lord is moving powerfully in Kenya and through our trip!  He goes before and behind us.  His favor is upon us.

Last night, my family had a big cookout at my house.  So many loved ones came.  I didn't know this would happen, but everyone gathered around.  We got to have praise and worship, and then they laid hands on the four of us about to leave and prayed.  There is so much power in prayer!  I am confident that we are covered in prayer and loved relentlessly by a God whose purpose is greater than what we can ever imagine.

Here is a printable schedule of where we'll be and ways you can pray:

Thanks for praying, friends.

I'll talk to you in two weeks!

Two years ago: Worms of Shame

The Heat of Summer

I read Beth Moore's Living Proof Ministries blog.  She posted a video devotional recently that resonated with me.  The message was about the season of summer and how it can easily become a time of spiritual drought for Christians.  I understand this so well, because I have fallen into apathy and discouragement during previous summers... and I have been praying for this one to be a summer of fruit, not a summer of drought.

Let me share Psalm 32:1-4. "Blessed is the one whose transgressions are forgiven, whose sins are covered. Blessed is the one whose sin the Lord does not count against them and in whose spirit is no deceit. When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night, your hand was heavy on me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer."

It's funny how summer can so easily be a season of spiritual drought, because where I live in Texas, a drought usually does come in the summer months, literally.  My hometown has gotten few inches of rain the last few years combined.

As May creeps around, so do days of glaring sun and cloudless sky and cracked earth.  Any green that flourished in April withers away.  The water in our well deteriorates.  And as soon as you step outside into 100+ degree heat, your breath is taken away for a few moments, simply because of the heat.  You can almost wear our Texas heat like a coat.  It cloaks itself around your shoulders in a suffocating, heavy kind of way.  I understand all too well the heat of summer.

David compares his spiritual distance from God to feeling as if his strength was sapped in the heat of summer.  It is a similar feeling.

If you're not careful, Christian, the summer can become a time of spiritual drought, with consequences as wearying as the hottest August day.

Check out this quote from a blog post I wrote on July 4, 2011. 

I'll admit it.  It's been harder to feel God this summer than it usually is.  And maybe it's entirely my fault.  I can't help but compare my emotional and spiritual weariness and thirst to the land around me.  To the parched ground in my backyard.  To my empty well.  To the state of my city.

We need rain.  It may be our driest year yet, but it WILL rain.  Rain will come and nourish the ground one day.  It will bring color into the grass and water into our wells.  This may not happen for a while, but it will come.  God will never abandon us.  And even when I'm going through a dry spell like I have this summer, I have faith that God will not leave me.  He is still here, even when His footprints are not seen.

A few short days later, I posted this:

For the first time all day and perhaps even all week, I felt like God was near.  I felt Him hold me.  Hours before, I had written something for my blog, talking about how I had faith that it would rain one day.  That I knew God would send us rain.  And then it rained for the first time in months.  During a time where I felt distant from God, He sent rain.  He didn't just send rain on the earth.  He sent rain on my heart that night too.

It was such a beautiful moment.  It was like the Lord was giving me a huge hug and saying, "Emily, don't you see?  I never left.  Please let me hold you."  Days later, I still feel so grateful, so amazed that He gave me exactly what I needed.  The rain was such a gift to our thirsty city and to my thirsty heart.

Even when our fickle human emotions makes us feel distant from God, it doesn't mean He feels the same way.  God is always near.  He's always working.  His love is far more unceasing and relentless than our own shifting feelings.

When David was feeling frustrated and distant from God, exhausted even by worship and grieving in his brokenness, God was not ignoring him.  He still called David a man after God's own heart.  His love was big and powerful.  But David's own frustrations and guilt distanced his heart from God, and by the middle of the psalm, he had identified a big part of his problem.  Sin.

Let me remind you that we live under a covenant of grace.  Christ's death on the cross took the punishment for your sin and you are separated from God no longer.  However, sin that you are keeping unconfessed and in your heart, even if it is forgiven by God, can become a source of self-imposed distance in your relationship with Him.

Let me share verses 5-7 of this same chapter of the Bible.  "Then I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, "I will confess my transgressions to the Lord." And you forgave the guilt of my sin. Therefore let all the faithful pray to you while you may be found; surely the rising of the mighty waters will not reach them. You are my hiding place; you will protect me from trouble and surround me with songs of deliverance." 

Your sin may not be as obvious as lying or addiction, but it may still be there in your heart.  Your sin may be bitterness festering like a rotting wound.  Your sin may be apathy, unwillingness to get up and obey what the Lord is asking you to do.  Your sin may be shame because of your sin, a lie and a form of pride that makes you believe what you have done is too bad for your Father to ever forgive.

I encourage you to search your heart tonight.  Ask God to reveal any sin that may be causing you to create a distance in your relationship with Him.

And regardless of what the answer is, if you are going through a season of weariness and drought, do not despair.  As long as you are on this earth, you will go through times of nourishment and times of exhaustion.  Elijah grew so frustrated that he asked God to take his life.  From his psalms, David seemed on a constant roller-coaster of emotions and "Why, God, why?!"s.  Paul struggled, Peter struggled, and so will you as long as you are on this earth.

If this is a summer of spiritual drought for you, I challenge you to spend more time in worship, prayer, and the Word than you usually would.  Even if you feel as if God is a trillion miles away, He knows the yearnings of your heart and He will reward your seeking nearness with Him.  He will not ignore you.

Jeremiah 29:11-14 says, "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord, 'plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you,' declares the Lord, "and will bring you back from captivity.'"

Even if your heart fails, His will not.  Have faith this summer.  Ask the Lord to bring a season of fruit instead of a season of drought... and remember that sometimes the sweetest of fruit can come from a place of wilderness. 

Here is a blog post I wrote on July 5, 2012, describing last summer.  Last summer was one of the hardest I've ever had and I look back on it with frustration to this day.  But I learned from it and the Lord spoke precious things to me in those months.  Looking back, all I can feel is thankful for His faithfulness, even when I didn't see it at the time.

He is good.

Two years ago: An Excerpt from an Action Story of my Childhood

5 Things

Five things on my mind right now are...

1.) KENYA.  Holy moly, y'all, I will be on an airplane to Africa in THREE DAYS.  Three days!  The fact that I leave on Thursday and it's already Monday is hitting me in a way that spurs excitement and some anxiety in me all at once.

Even though I've already been to Kenya before and I know that God is moving in such powerful ways through this mission trip, the idea of leaving my family for the other side of the world (and attempting to remember and decide everything needed to pack in a small suitcase) is enough to make me feel a little anxious and batty.

But truthfully, I am thankful that for a couple of weeks, I will be in a place where I must focus on the Lord and serving His children.  No phone, no laptop, no extensive wardrobe to choose from each day.  When I decided to begin fundraising for this trip, I had to rely fully on the Lord to provide... and on this journey, I will need to rely on Him again, to keep me healthy and safe and provide everything I need.  He is faithful! 

I am so excited.  I'll be posting pre-written daily prayer requests while I'm gone (June 20-July 4) and I'll also post a printable prayer request schedule the day before I leave, for those who have asked. 

Three days!

2.) Have you ever watched that hit TV show, Duck Dynasty?  I actually have never seen an episode, but while I'm in college, the only television I watch outside of Hulu and Netflix is Aggie football games.  That's it.  My family members are all huge fans of the show, however.  The men appear to be godly and outspoken in their faith, which is so great.

Check out one of the latest Christian Relief Fund blog posts.  Willie and Korie Robertson of Duck Dynasty sponsor Giovani, a Nicaraguan girl supported by one of our programs.  They've also been on several mission trips with CRF.  They've been supporting Christian Relief Fund since before "Duck Dynasty."  Even though I don't watch the show, I appreciate it that this family is taking the time and effort to love on children around the world.  So great!
 
3.) This song.  I've loved the song since John Mark McMillan's original version came out when I was in middle school, but I'm obsessed with Kim Walker-Smith's version of it too!  I've been listening to the Jesus Culture channel on Pandora nonstop at work.  Who are some of your favorite worship artists?

4.) The fact that I may have the cutest dog ever.  For real.  Every so often, I feel the irresistible urge to share pictures of Jack on this blog, because he's the most photogenic little dog ever!  Here's what Jack does when I bring out the treats.

 

And here's his face when he really, really, really wants to play.

Here's his face when he's watching me eat dinner and I won't give him a bite (since he's a dog and all).

And finally, here's his face after I've caught him playing with a paper towel.

 

Pretty cute, right?

5.) The Almost's "Your Love is Extravagant" is another song I've been listening to on repeat lately.  I really love the lyrics. 

Your love is extravagant.

Your friendship is so intimate.

I find I'm moving to the rhythms of Your grace.

Your fragrance is intoxicating in our secret place.

Your love is extravagant.

What are five things on your mind today?

Two years ago: Feeling Lazy?

Letters for Lavin: June (Kinda)

Every month this year, I am writing a letter to my sponsored daughter, Lavin, through Christian Relief Fund.  This month will work a little differently.

Yes, I will write Lavin a letter, but I will not be sending it in the mail.  In four days, I will be on my way to Kenya, Africa, where I will be able to give my letter to Lavin in person.  So today, instead of sharing the contents of my letter and giving ideas of what to write and little things to send, I'm going to show you what I'm bringing my family's sponsored children, just because I am so very excited.

My family sponsors three children in total.

As I'm sure you know by now, I sponsor Lavin, my sweet daughter who is sixteen (can you believe it?!).  She was twelve when I met her for the first time and we have kept in touch regularly since then. 

My parents also sponsor two kids named Faith and David.  My dear friend Barbie and I were given the gift of naming David when we visited him in the Bush outside of Eldoret, Kenya in 2009.  His mother had ten kids, was exhausted and hungry, and had not yet named her infant son.  We named him David, because David from the Bible was also the youngest of many brothers and he turned out to be a mighty king and a man after God's own heart.

Needless to say, I am so very excited to see David again.  He was only a few months old the last time I saw him and now he is about four.

My family also sponsors another little girl from Eldoret, Kenya.  Her name is Faith.  We began sponsoring her not too long ago, so I have not met her yet, which is why the only picture I can show you is the slightly dark one we have up on our fridge.  I am thrilled to love on this beautiful ten-year-old.

I don't have much room to bring gifts, but I couldn't help but get a few small things to bring to each of our kids.  It is a special thing to meet one's adopted parent, and I loved giving Lavin a gift when I first met her so many years ago.

A couple of weeks ago, my mom and I went to Target to look around and find some appropriate gifts for our three kids.  This is what we came up with.

For David, we picked out a little outfit.  A nice plaid shirt with sleeves that can roll up or be long (it is cooler in Eldoret than you might expect).  A pair of denim shorts with a little belt.  I also added a small paperback book I got as a kid's meal prize at Chickfila.  It's short and sweet and will most likely be David's very first book of his own.

For Faith, we picked out a red shirt with the American flag in the shape of a butterfly on the front.  The Kenyans I've met love America, especially now that Obama is president (because he is half-Kenyan) and so anything red, white, and blue is a big hit.  We also got Faith a little skirt and a pair of frilly socks.

These socks have a story.  It's kind of funny, because the youngest in my family, Luke, is already several inches taller than I am, so my mom and I had no idea what size of socks to get a ten-year-old girl.  We actually had to stop a mother who was toting around some young kids to ask her for help.  She said, "Well, how tall is the girl?"  There was an awkward pause and I said, "Um... she actually lives in Africa."  The mom was so kind, so she smiled and said, "I think those will be perfect."

I also am passing down a pink pocket Bible to Faith that I used to have.  It isn't very worn and since she is old enough to read, I want to make sure she has a Bible of her own.  I'll also slip in a couple of sweet-smelling lotions and soaps for her to enjoy.

For Lavin, I got a few small things.  It was my friend Barbie's idea to get a copy of Jesus Calling by Sarah Young for Lavin and tell her that we can study the same devotional every morning.  How special!  I gave Lavin a pocket Bible in a simple translation in 2009; now I'll give her a slightly bigger Bible in the NIV translation.  I'm giving her a Texas A&M bracelet, a card, some magnetic bookmarks, and a few sweet-smelling lotions and body sprays.

Also, while I'm in Kenya, I will be bringing some money to buy Lavin an extra set of textbooks to bring home from class each day so she can improve her grades.

I'm most excited for a little necklace that I had to look for long and hard before I actually found.  It says "Daughter" and I'm so excited to give it to Lavin, because she will always be my daughter, no matter how many miles separate us. 

I am growing more and more excited with each passing day.  I can't wait to give each of my sweet kids their gifts, but most importantly, I am so eager to embrace each of them and say, "Jesus loves you so much, and so do I."

Four days.

Two years ago: A Broken Camera

Social Activism: Trending

A few days ago, I was reading an article called How Art Can Be Activism by Dan Haseltine, the founder of Blood: Water Mission and singer of Jars of Clay.  He made some great points in this article.  As one who shares his heart for humanitarian work, I decided to add to some of his thoughts.

In the American culture, activism is stylish.  Invisible Children's "Kony 2012" campaign exploded into awareness for a brief and astounding few weeks.  TOMS, a brand of shoes that offers a pair to a needy child for each pair purchased ("one-for-one"), are everywhere on my college campus.  I have yet to attend a Christian concert without a break in the middle to raise awareness for Compassion International or World Vision.

I'm a college student, and I don't go a day on my university campus without seeing some sort of social activism taking place.  My closet is full of t-shirts that raise awareness for causes: "This Shirt Feeds Starving Children," "Pray for Haiti," "Life is Greater Than Comfort: The Wells Project," "TWLOHA," "Kenya, Feel the Love," and I could go on and on.  Activism is certainly trending right now. 

A perk of young, artistic students becoming interested in activism is the display of art that arises.  Dan Haseltine says, "Art draws people into a conversation- a powerful tool in the world of aid.  A skillfully communicated story, a compelling photo, an infographic or video montage can capture the compassion of those who otherwise might not have taken that second look.  Art can show people the humanity of a justice cause and so engage their support."  Something I learned from one of my communications classes last semester is that art brings conversation, whether in your own mind or by bringing you into discussion with people around you.

The photographs and t-shirts and shoes and paintings all create awareness for real issues.  TOMS are attractive shoes, but they remind wearers to some extent that there are children in the world at this moment who have no shoes and need them.  A piece of writing or a painting can spark conversation that could ignite change.  This world needs educators and problem-solvers to create solutions to the huge magnitude of troubles that currently exist.

If art is creating conversation that needs to happen, then it's a good thing, right?

To an extent.  Much of activism today seems to create art focused solely on pop culture.  Would broke college students students spend $60 on a pair of TOMS if they weren't stylish, even if kids in Africa still needed shoes?  Would someone really have donated $20 to that organization if they didn't offer a cool t-shirt?

"So what?" you might be thinking.  "As long as funds are being donated, who cares if motives are in the right place or not?"

The biggest problem with this is that it creates no accountability.  Perhaps one organization is selling awesome merchandise to raise funds towards their cause while another has a shortage of young, trendy artists to help them keep up.  Even if only 30% goes to the first cause and 93% goes to the second, the organization with the coolest t-shirt is probably going to win, and the donator will feel just as good about what they gave.  The same goes if the first cause has people causing more harm than good, and the second is making a big difference.  The cool t-shirt will probably be chosen because the buyer won't bother to do their research. 

At my university, people sell t-shirts and bracelets on the sidewalks, raising money for all sorts of causes.  And I've done exactly what I'm talking about, seeing a shirt or water bottle that I think looks cool, justifying my purchase with the excuse, "It helps hungry kids in Zambia anyways," and I never look up the organization again.

As Haseltine said in his article, "What if they are resented in the communities they attempt to serve? ...It has become a problem in the fragmented rise of mini nonprofit aid organizations that have big hearts and cool t-shirts yet poor practices."  When we support an aid organization focused more on pop culture than the actual solution, we are falling into a practice of no accountability and failed motives.

A final quote from Haseltine I would like to share is: "Art loses its 'good' when it fails to honor and dignify its subjects.  There's a difference between portraying people to humanize them and market them.  ...If you wouldn't show your art to a person in the community you serve, that's a pretty good sign that the art should change." 

Check out this blog article by Hugh, the founder of Love Wins Ministries about the recent campaign called #FitchtheHomeless.  You can read about it all here.  Hugh writes about this same issue.  People are giving Abercrombie & Fitch clothing to homeless people as a way to get back at the "elite" and snobbish brand.  Most people say it's a good thing; homeless people are getting clothes, even if the motives behind the giving are a little twisted.  However, while homeless people may need clothes, they are being dehumanized through this campaign and that is completely wrong.

Hugh says, "Consider how you would feel about this story if, instead of 'homeless people', the story was that a man shot a video that sought to offend the brand by giving its clothes to black people or gay people. The internet would be in an outrage, rightfully calling the video racist or homophobic.  ...It is never okay to stigmatize people in the defense of your cause - no matter how just or good it is. It is never okay to use poor people - or, in fact, any people, as props or object lessons or teaching tools. Ever."

In the joyful chaos of social activism, it's easy to think about the cause and not the people behind it.  The malnourished children are more than award-winning photos and conversation-provoking t-shirts.  They are children.  Africa is more than starvation and poverty; it's a continent filled with diversity, beauty, and love.

There is meaningful change in the trendy social activism that I've seen springing up all around me during my college years, but there is a danger too.  Before you go out and support an aid organization simply because of its trendiness, I challenge you to check your motives.  Do some background research.  Remind yourself of why you're donating and who you're really trying to bring relief.

Three years ago: The Dreamer

FKM: Mzungu Emily

This is my final Friday Kenya Memory, because next Friday, I will already be in Kenya, making brand new memories, if it is God's will.

If you would like to help support my trip to Kenya, Africa this summer, you can donate directly through the Christian Relief Fund website.  Be sure to indicate that your donation is to go towards "Emily's Kenya Trip."

Friday Kenya Memory: July 13, 2009

This morning, I woke up with a verse spinning around in my head.  "The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me, because the Lord has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor."

I thought this was a fantastic verse, but I wasn't sure where I had heard it, so I flipped around in my Bible until I found the verse in Isaiah 61, a chapter I had studied a few months earlier but had forgotten about.  Even though I had planned to talk about something completely different when I led our devotion this morning, I felt that God wanted me to simply read Isaiah 61 to our group. 

We arrived at the Lakeside orphanage, and eighty children rushed out to meet us, waving excitedly and chattering to each other and to us in Swahili or Luo or both.  The eager children ushered us into the assembly room and took turns performing songs and reciting poetry and Bible verses for our team.  It was adorable.

We held a miniature Vacation Bible Study for the nursery children and then again for the older children.  They all enjoyed making crafts and singing worship songs.  We passed out fruit loops to make necklaces, but most of the children ate the cereal before they even finished their necklaces.  

A seventeen-year-old boy named Michael befriended me and pulled me outside into the courtyard to talk.  He had a million and one questions about America: the cost of things, the education system, the food, the jobs, the landscapes...  He was fascinated about everything.  He was a sweet boy.

We visited the living quarters of the orphans.  They were all so proud of their rooms, even though they consisted of bare walls, concrete floors, beds without blankets, and torn mosquito nets hanging from the ceiling.  They beamed with pride when we visited each room.  And indeed, their living conditions were so much better than they had been when the orphans were homeless or living in dilapidated mud huts before CRF helped them.  Sponsorship has transformed the quality of their lives.

A few of us went outside to teach songs to the nursery children.  It was difficult because none of the children have learned English yet.  We finally ended up singing by ourselves while the children giggled and did the hand motions along with us. 

One little girl named Sandra clung to me like I was her sister or her mother.  She played with my fingers and examined my pale skin.  She stroked my hair and laid her head in my lap whenever I sat down.  She held my hand and refused to let me go the entire time I was at the orphanage.  Every time I caught her eye, she would beam at me, giddy and goofy.  "Mzungu Emily," she would call me.  She proudly showed me the contents of her school bag.

"She has no sponsor," Sandra's teacher informed me sadly.  I looked down at Sandra, and she giggled and reached up to stroke my face, murmuring something in Swahili.  I knew then that I must find Sandra a sponsor.  She is God's precious little girl, and only five years old.

We were sad to leave this orphanage.  The children chased after our matatu.  I caught one last glimpse of Sandra grinning up at me, waving and shouting words in broken English.  I remember the last thing she said: "See you tomorrow, Mzungu Emily!"  How I wish I could.

Colors

A song I wrote.

Colors 

I don't know when You first spoke my name.

And I don't know when You formed the stars and won my heart.

But I know that You came and called me Your bride

And I know that You reign and still for me, You died.

I don't know much. All I can say 

Is that I'm loved by a King.

And even though I'm clay,

You know my name.

I don't know what colors are in Your eyes.

And I don't know why You broke Your heart to restore mine.

But I know that You came and called me Your bride

And I know that You reign and still for me, You died.

I don't know much. All I can say 

Is that I'm loved by a King.

And even though I'm clay,

You know my name.

Awake, awake my heart.

Holy is the Lord. Holy are you, Lord.

I know that You came and called me Your bride

And I know that You reign and still for me, You died.

I don't know much. All I can say 

Is that I'm loved by a King.

And even though I'm clay,

You know my name.

6/8/13

Two years ago: Big Tipper Go to Heaven

Me from A to Z

I borrowed this survey from Claudia at Lashes and Beard.  Feel free to answer these questions yourself!

A // Available or Married?
I guess I would say I'm available, although I hate to use that term.  I'd rather say that I'm perfectly content where the Lord has placed me right now and we'll see what happens in the future.  At this moment, I'm single and I'm fine with that.

B // Book?
I'm not sure exactly what this is asking, so I'll answer in a few different ways.  My favorite book would probably be Havah by Tosca Lee.  The last book I read was Little Bee by Chris Cleave.  The book I'm about to start reading is Radical Together by David Platt.  If you want to join me in my summer reading list, check it out here.

C // Cake or pie?
I like pie so much better than cake.  I tend to like salty snacks more than sweet snacks, so icing on cake is usually a bit too sugary for my taste.  But a good cherry pie is like heaven.  And even better than pie... COBBLER.

D // Drink of choice?
My favorite drink ever is Dr. Pepper.  If you're not from Texas, you may not even know what that tastes like, but it's wonderful.  I'm trying to cut down on sodas though, just because of health, so I'm working on improving my taste for drinks like Arizona Tea and Propel.  I'm writing this while drinking a Cherry Coke, so my resolve is clearly not the highest.

E // Essential item?
It's probably a tie between my guitar and my phone.  I hate to be one of those people who can't be separated from their phone, but this phone is pretty much a miniature laptop, which I would have called my essential item about two years ago.  On the other hand, when I spend more than a couple of days without playing songs on my guitar, I start feeling like my head is going to fall off, so there's that.

F // Favorite color?
Blue.  Bright blue.  Or teal.

G // Game to play or watch?
It's a nerdy game, I know, but I like playing Settlers of Catan.  Taboo is another favorite, as well as Apples to Apples.  The only games I watch are Aggie Football games, if they count.

H // Home state?
Texas!

My first instagram picture, by the way.

I // Indulgence?
Probably soda, as I was saying before.  Or Sour Patch Kids.  As much as candy typically disinterests me, I'm obsessed with those things. 

J // Job?
I'm an intern for Christian Relief Fund, and I could not be more blessed by this job.  For the first time in my life (the last two years), I have gone to work every day of the summer feeling excited about what I'm going to do.  I don't even dread waking up early, which is a big deal for me.  I love this ministry.

K // Kids and names?
I don't know about the whole kids thing, but I don't want to rule it out and keep God's will separate from my own.  His plan is better than mine.  If I do have kids, I would prefer to adopt.  My favorite girl names are Avia Lyn and Story.  My favorite boy names are Charlie and Jack.  Yes, I know my dog's name is Jack and my fish's name was Charlie... but when you don't have kids, you have to use the names somewhere, right? 

L // Life is incomplete without...?
Faith in Christ.  Without Him, my life would truly be purposeless.  And I'm not saying that to sound spiritual.  I've tried it, it didn't work, and I wanted to end everything.  He is everything in my life.  This is why I can be joyful and content when anything else is gone.

M // Music group or singer?
Some of my favorite artists are Elvis Presley (of course), B. Reith, Kim Walker, Sara Bareilles, and Jack Johnson. Some of my favorite bands are NeedtoBreathe, (the old) Newsboys, Imagine Dragons, Shane & Shane, Fun., and Jesus Culture.

N // Number of siblings?
I have an adopted sister who was my best friend in high school.  Her name is Ali and she is my age, 20.  I also have a 17-year-old sister named Amy and a 13-year-old brother named Luke. 

O // Oranges or apples?
I actually don't really like either one of those.  I'm more of a raspberry kind of girl.  I don't like oranges, but I love, love, love orange juice, if that makes a difference. 

P // Phobias and fears?
Sharks and water are probably my number one right now.

Q // Quote?
We have a dry erase board at my college house.  We started out writing all sorts of things on it, and then it ended up becoming a place where I wrote a quote on it every week or so.  And any time people came over, they would always comment on the quotes.  But I really just love taking quotes from people I admire and gleaning from their wisdom.  Quotes are great.  One of my favorite quotes is, "There's no doubt we were unworthy, but we were never worthless. Big difference," by Louie Giglio.

R // Reason to smile?
Well, the biggest reason right now would be that I'm heading to Kenya, Africa in eight days.  That's pretty great.  There are so many other reasons too, like the fact that I have precious friends who keep in touch with me even when we are miles and miles away.  And the job I love more than I could have ever even thought to ask God for.  And for my parents.  And even for my little dog, Jack.

S // Season?
Definitely summer.  I love being free from school (which isn't my favorite part of life, by far), the summer sun, my favorite holiday, and the fact that it is warm outside!  My second favorite would probably be spring, because rain is my favorite kind of weather. 

T // Tattoos?
I'm afraid I would get bored of my tattoo before the year was even over.  So no.  

U // Unknown fact?
I've been blogging for just under four years now.  There aren't a lot of great unknown facts I haven't already shared on here.  The first thing that came to mind was that I've kept nearly every movie ticket I've gotten since something like 2006, minus a few incidents of forgetfulness.

V // Vegetables you love?
Believe me, there aren't many.  I can't stand most vegetables.  But I usually do like green beans.  And I like plain salads most of the time (with ranch and no other veggies but lettuce and carrots).  And fried okra.  I know, I know, I'm horrible at this whole "be healthy" thing. 

W // Worst habit?
Staying up late.  I will plan in advance to go to bed at a reasonable time, but a writing idea always pops into my head around 11 or 12 at night, and then I'm always, always, always up much later than that while my creative juices pour out of my brain. 

X // X-rays you've had?
I've x-rayed a few limbs here and there throughout my childhood.  My most recent x-rays were on my elbow and ankle after I got into a bad longboarding accident last August.  This accident sure messed up my poor body.  I tore a ligament in my ankle, scratched up my arms, badly bruised both elbows and right hip, messed up my sternum so that it hurt to breathe for a while, bruised my jaw, had whiplash, and got a concussion.  Ridiculous, right?  I had to get a CT-scan for my minor head injury, but I turned out okay.  Needless to say though, I was stuck in the house for a few days after my accident. 

Y // Your favorite food?
Chips and queso!  Tex-Mex all the way.

Z // Zodiac?
Does anyone actually follow their horoscopes?  I believe I'm a Libra, but I'm not certain, nor do I care.

To end this, what is your favorite quote?

Two years ago: Greetings from the Cayman Islands

Crumbled

Crumbled 

Thirsty like the desert, windswept as the sands,

I falter like a crumbling flower in a dried up land.

You beckon like a daddy, Your glory like a king.

I come with nothing but my thirst. You gave everything.

No matter how I'm broken, despite my every shame,

You cradled me in gentle arms. You called me by name.

And so I've found my joy at the foot of Your throne.

In You, I am a daughter. In You, I've found my home.

4-18-13

Three years ago: Blind

Two years ago: Writing this from Labadee, Haiti

One year ago: Cat in the Hat or Cat FOR a Hat (New York Travel Journal)

He Gives and Takes Away

If you are an American, you have probably heard about the devastating tornado damage in Moore, Oklahoma.  I hate to even compare my own situation to this, but not long ago, my family was given a taste (and I mean a taste) of the damaging affects of a storm.  It was not nearly as horrific as what happened to our friends and neighbors in Oklahoma, but it was enough to cause us to further appreciate what it means for an act of nature to be violent enough to destroy parts of your home.  And it's a story to tell, so I will. 

While I was in North Carolina, a tornadic hail storm hit my hometown.  Yes, a tornado touched the ground, although I don't believe it destroyed a single home in my area, thank God.  However, hail the size of golf balls (and in some areas, baseballs) wiped through my town and wreaked minor havoc.

I borrowed this picture from the Facebook of my friend Kayla, and I hope she doesn't mind (if you see this and do mind, let me know).  But look at this.  I almost wish I was there to see the ground blanketed in such massive pieces of ice, like a snowstorm turned into the abominable snowman.

States away, my family had heard about the storm.  We knew hail like that must have damaged our home.  But still, we dreaded to return and see the extent of what it did.

Like I said, it was only a taste of what it could have been, and barely that.  But here is the damage a bit of hail did to my home.

The funniest is our benches.  We have these white, plastic benches we use during barbecues and family get-togethers, when we don't have enough seating in the kitchen.  They open into picnic tables.  Well, these things were absolutely pummeled by the hail.  Destroyed.  Both of them.  I've never seen anything like it.

It's been a few days now, and we still haven't thrown them out.  I think part of it is an, "Ahh, I hate to throw out a formerly perfectly good bench!" mentality, and then also a bit of, "Aww, but I loved these benches!"  Still, it's time for them to go.

On the less funny side, our roof was pretty much wrecked.  We'll have to have it replaced.  This week, my family is thanking the Lord for insurance!  All over our yard are piles of roof material.  My little brother, who is too young for a real job, now has some work cut out for him.  What a mess.

Another not-so-funny part was Ali's car.  The storm pounded her little Honda without mercy.  Her back windshield was completely broken.  Her front windshield looks like a spiderweb.  Her car is now decorated with hundreds of ping-pong-ball-sized dents, bumper to bumper.  We're not sure if this damaged car is redeemable.  We'll have to see.

Other parts of our land and home were damaged, such as our paint, the few small trees on our acreage, our gardens, and our rose bushes.  Our metal barn is badly dented, a window in our house is broken, and we have destroyed railings.  And of course, there are damaged lights, flower pots, and lawn decorations.  Our house was shaken up so much that picture frames fell and broke from the wall.  What a storm this must have been!

All-in-all, the damage done to our home will cost us, but it's nothing compared to losing our house or far worse, a loved one.  As we survey what some mighty winds and angry balls of hail did to our belongings, I cannot help but remember Job, after a storm took his home (and many other terrible things happened as well).  He said in Job 1:21, "The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised."

If, after losing everything, Job could sit back with perspective and praise the Lord, then so can we.

A car is lost, a roof is lost, a lawn is lost.  But these are only things.  The Lord gives and the Lord takes away, but He will be praised.

I cannot even begin to imagine what it would be like to return and see my home turned to rubble and debris, but I pray that I would still have this perspective.  May the name of the Lord be praised.

Even the hail storm itself, the wind and the rain and the ice, offer praise to the Lord.  His glory is undeniable, even by the mighty nature that seems so eager to destroy this time of year.  Psalm 148 says, "Praise the Lord from the earth, you great sea creatures and all ocean depths, lightning and hail, snow and clouds, stormy winds that do His bidding."

In everything, God is worthy to be praised.  In the aftermath of the most terrible storm and in the refuge when it's over, His name should be proclaimed from the ends of the earth.

He is worthy.

Have you stopped to praise Him today?  

Two years ago: The Beautiful Ocean

Buddha's Sand Sculpture

For my final journal entry about my trip to North and South Carolina, I'll share about my last few days spent at a beach house in the Isle of Palms.  The beach was lovely.  Where our house was, we could take a golf cart (or a bike) about a block and reach a private portion of the beach.

It wasn't that our section of the beach was more or less fancy than any other, nor was it gated off.  For some reason, no one wandered to this area, so we had a good stretch of sand to ourselves.

This made a perfect place for Lukie to play in the waves, Ali and Amy to ride their bikes, and the rest of us to lay towels across the warm sand and read.

On our last day at the beach, we got word that there was a big sand-castle-making contest.  We were told that there would be some beautiful sculptures.  I'd heard of these things before, and we all gathered up our water bottles, beach towels, and cameras, and headed out to see what the fuss was about.  A couple of miles from where our usual section of beach was, this portion was crammed with thousands of people.  Why so many chose to fit together like sardines on one strip of sand while the beach lay out for miles, I'll never understand.

Honestly... the sand sculptures were neat, but they weren't jaw-dropping.  I must admit though, that I could never form sand into anything more than a lump with a stick-flag placed feebly on top, so I don't have much room to talk.

We took some pictures as a family today, so I'll happily share these as well.  I sure do love my family, as quirky and odd as we all are.  We still fit together well.

Luke is growing fast.  Less than a year ago, I was taller than him, and look at him now.  Talk about a growth spurt.  He's hoping to reach Grandpa Frank's impressive height of 6'6.  We'll see.

Here is a picture of Grandpa Frank, Courtney (my aunt), and my siblings and I.  Unfortunately, I didn't get a picture of Grandma Marcia!  But she is lovely and has a heart filled with kindness.  You'll just have to imagine her.

And for those of you who have messaged me and asked, "I haven't seen anything about Ali in a long time!  Are you not friends anymore?!"  Yes, we are still very much friends.  Ali is still very much a part of my family.  However, when we go to separate universities in cities hours apart, it becomes hard to see each other.  But when we do, we are quite happy. 

One memorable moment was the second-to-last night of our trip.  Somehow, I managed to accidentally persuade Ali that there were vicious spiders all over our room.  There were water bugs that had found themselves on our ceiling (don't ask me how) and Ali was convinced they also were spiders.  All it really took for me to push her over the edge was to show her a photograph of a spider that had crawled into someone's ear overnight.

Yes, I'm one of those sisters.

Needless to say, this is how Ali spent the rest of the night, after thoroughly checking her sheets for homicidal spiders.

Overall, this vacation was wonderful.  Last semester of school was so draining and difficult; the most challenging I've had so far, other than my first homesick few weeks of transition as a freshman.  It's funny how the Lord so faithfully provides for me in just the way I need.  As the summer began, I was yearning for rest and family time.  It's exactly what I received.

By the time we returned home, I was able to head straight back to work with the energy and rejuvenation I was lacking when I left on our vacation.  I'm so thankful for being able to spend these two last weeks doing nothing but spending time with loved ones, taking time for myself, and soaking in the beauty of God's creation.

Two years ago: Boarding the Ship

FKM: Make a Zebra!

If you would like to help support my trip to Kenya, Africa this summer, you can donate directly through the Christian Relief Fund website.  Be sure to indicate that your donation is to go towards "Emily's Kenya Trip."

Friday Kenya Memory: July 12, 2009

At church, I had the opportunity to teach Sunday School for all of the children, as the normal teacher was absent this week.  I used an interpreter, as the unsponsored and thus unschooled children had not been taught English, which is the national language of Kenya.  I taught the story of when Jesus healed Bartimaeus the blind man.  I also shared Hebrews 13:5, which talks about how God has said, "Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you."

The children all taught me some words in Luo, their tribe and language, while I taught them a few words I learned in my high school Spanish class.  They had many questions about what life is like in America.  It was sweet to spend time with these children.  There were over three hundred of them present in total. 

Because this was our last day at Ring Road, we gathered with all the staff in one of the classrooms to sing and pray together for the last time.  Then we put on our new CRF t-shirts and went to take a group picture.   "Make a zebra!" Jared, the director of the Kisumu project, insisted, meaning for us to mix cultures for the photograph: black, white, black, white.  We took our photos and then got into a circle and held hands, thoroughly mingled.  We sang a resounding chorus of "He Has Done So Much for Me," and then it was time to go.

It was so hard to say goodbye to my sponsored daughter, Lavin.  I hugged her tightly and promised to come visit her again one day, and until then, to write her often.  She held me close for a moment and then let go, retreating behind a corner, from where she watched me wordlessly until I left Ring Road School for the last time.

We visited the Kisumu market, which is a huge, limitless space of land where people place their merchandise into chaotic piles on the ground.  Thousands of people ruffle through it all under the burning sun.  There are thieves and pickpockets lurking around every corner.  Everywhere I went, I heard shouts of "Mzungu!  Mzungu!"  I did not like that market at all.

After dinner, a few of us sat at a table for a couple of hours, talking through the darkness.  A few others joined us and brought cokes for us to drink.  I swear I drink more cokes in a day here than I have anywhere else in my life, but when a cold coke is the only sanitary drink available, you take it.

Towards the end of our conversation, Audie approached our group, quickly explaining that a man who was also staying at our hotel had asked for help to become a Christian.  Milton immediately left to help counsel the man.  Sure enough, he became a follower of Jesus this night.  It was such an encouragement to us all.

I truly love this place.

Three years ago: There is peace.

The Most Fascinating Puddle in the World

Over the next couple of days, I'll sum up the time we spent in Charleston, South Carolina, instead of sharing a day-by-day journal.

It was a three hour drive to Isle of Palms from Charlotte, spent mostly dozing in the car and reading.  Over the course of my ten-day vacation, I read five books: "The Fault in Our Stars" by John Green, "And the Mountains Echoed" by Khaled Hosseini, "Radical" by David Platt, "The Explicit Gospel" by Matt Chandler, and "Little Bee" by Chris Cleave.  A relaxing vacation for me means having plenty of time to read (so this was a success).

During a stop in Columbia, we visited the oddest little pizza parlor called The Mellow Mushroom.  Large glitzed-out statues of roosters and a giant pretend library filled the building.  It was one of the more entertaining experiences of the trip.  

Almost as soon as we arrived at our sweet little beach house, we headed straight for the ocean.  Mom, Amy, and I took a golf cart, while Grandpa Frank, Ali, and Luke managed to find three rusty, creaking bikes.  It was low tide, and the beach stretched far.  They rode along the sandy shore, while the rest of us parked, removed our shoes, and began to walk.

I have no fears about walking ankle-deep in the ocean water.  In fact, I enjoy the feeling of the waves lapping at my ankles while the sand hugs my feet.  Little muscles and clams dove into the earth with each new wave.  Tiny crabs were everywhere, invading our belongings and attempting to crawl up our legs when we sat down.  Throughout the rest of my vacation, if I set down my bag, I'd ultimately find a rogue crab or two waiting for me later on.  Vicious buggers.

The beach was beautiful.  It had been two years since I'd seen the ocean (not since my cruise right after my high school graduation), so it was a refreshing thing to breathe the salty air and feel the waves and the sand and the pounding sun.  It was funny, changing from a lake house to a beach house.  The water activities were all a bit different.  Lakes are gentle and soft, while the ocean is a lion everyone pretends they can tame.

Luke, in typical fashion, played in the waves for a bit, and then found this giant puddle of salt water left by the fleeing tide.  Our first night in Isle of Palms, he spent probably an hour sitting in this puddle, quite satisfied as he played with the damp sand and stubborn little clams.  I have the funniest brother. 

Other days, my dad and Grandpa Frank would set out with wake boards and play with Luke in the actual ocean.  They spent hours this trip riding the waves on their tummies.  (And some of this time was spent attempting to bury Luke in the hard-packed South Carolina sand.  It didn't work.)

The rest of us spent much of our time on the beach sitting beneath umbrellas or tanning under a grinning sun.  I was the recipient of a wicked sunburn on day two of our vacation, so I kept a t-shirt on for most of this trip, unwilling to harm my skin any more than it already was.

Truly, one of my favorite parts of our beach house (and where I spent most of my afternoons there) was relaxing on the hammock placed on Ali's and my balcony.  This spot was shady, comfortable, and perfect for reading and quiet times with Jesus.

Three years ago: Where is God's hatred?
One year ago: I almost forgot what rain was.