Blogging About Blogging

EDIT: To clarify, I'm not finished blogging forever. This isn't the end of Emily is Smiling. However, for the time being, I need a break.

This is all a big ramble and definitely breaking the unspoken rule of "Never Blog About Blogging," but if you read my blog regularly at all, I hope you'll take a moment to read.

As you may have noticed, I haven't been posting as frequently on this blog in recent months, and when I have, they have not been as thoughtfully written or as in-depth as they were before. I have been blogging for 5 years now. The New Year is about to begin, and I thought I would outline a little about what my blogging priorities look like for the year 2015.

I love to write. I always have. One of the things that I love to write about the most is my faith in Jesus, because it is the most important thing in my life. It is the most significant piece of my identity and a huge part of who I am. Let me reassure any readers that even when my posts on this blog consist of pictures from Instagram or lists of books that I'm reading, it isn't because I'm wearying of my faith. It's because I'm wearying of blogging.

This is in part because the world's response to blogging is also changing. In the year 2014, online audiences have been moving largely out of the blogging sphere to share their thoughts in other places. Posting comments on blogs is practically a thing of the past, which means conversations between bloggers and readers are almost nonexistent now. This isn't only happening to me. Nearly every blog on the Internet has taken a hit in both readership and, especially, comments in the last year or two.

While view-count isn't the sole reason why anyone should blog, it does play a part. Since I began blogging 5 years ago, I've considered my blog as both a journal and a ministry, a way to reach out to people who are looking for encouragement as they walk with Jesus. With less people taking the time to read blogs or join in conversation, the time I put into writing thoughtful blog posts is affected. I desire to put my effort into forms of ministry where people are receiving and giving back, where community can be found.

Also, the amount of time I choose to put into blogging these days is changing, regardless of who is reading. I've found ministries that have impacted my heart more in this season, like Deaf ministry. I'm a busy college student. My grandma was in the hospital for almost the entire month of December, which focused my thoughts and intentions recently more on family than on the Internet.

A day may come in the future where I sit down and re-shape Emily is Smiling into what it was before. I treasure some of the blog posts I've written. This place is forever special to me. But for right now, most of my attention is straying to other places and other ministries.

I'm not ready to give up this blog completely yet, so don't think I'm never going to post again after January 1, but I will be posting less. Many of my intimate thoughts about faith and about Jesus are being journaled right now instead of blogged, and sometimes I may share them on here, but quite often, I won't. The things I've blogged about in seasons past are still heavy on my heart, and I'm still working hard to implant them in my life, but Emily is Smiling is not a big priority for me in this moment. There is a season for everything, and my season of frequent blogging may be coming to a close. At least for now.

I'm still happy to talk with anyone who reads this blog, and I'll be back now and then to share both silly and serious things. But here's an update of what's going on in my life right now. I hope this long tangle of words makes some kind of sense.

I love you all,

Emily

Shell

On December 15, 2007, I lost a friend to suicide. A few years later, I wrote this poem about the shock and grief one feels after losing a loved one this way.

shell

when you left i stood still
frozen in time.
you became ageless and i tried.
the spinning world was a thorn
as if people did not see
the hole
you left behind.
stepping over the place where you were
they forgot
as i stood still.
in time i knew the taste
of voices and smiles
alive.
i moved, i lived, but
like a creature shedding its skin
i left a shell, a piece
of myself behind
ageless
standing with you.

Three years ago: City Lights
Four years ago: Three Years
Five years ago: Rockin' Up There

Psalm 100: Joy

The reason I've intermingled a psalm from the Bible with these pictures is because as I remember this night from a few weeks ago, I feel so much joy and I am thankful for God's grace in allowing me to have a strong community and happy memories. The Lord given my heart this joy.

Psalm 100 is one of my favorite joyful psalms, so I thought I would share it along with a few of these happy photos.

Psalm 100

Shout for joy to the Lord, all the earth.
Worship the Lord with gladness;
come before him with joyful songs.

Know that the Lord is God.
It is he who made us, and we are his;
we are his people, the sheep of his pasture.

Enter his gates with thanksgiving
and his courts with praise;
give thanks to him and praise his name.

For the Lord is good and his love endures forever;
his faithfulness continues through all generations.

Three years ago: A Puppy-Less Life
Four years ago: Postmodernism: A Poem
Five years ago: Excerpt of "Because"

Highlights: Angry Christianity

What is a little old, but still extremely important. 
Two Questions Christians Need to Ask Ourselves During Mid-Term Elections by Carson T. Clark
"It seems to me we American Christians have a propensity toward confusing our temporal, national citizenship with our eternal, covenantal citizenship. ...The narratives in which we root our lives and find meaning point not to the great, incarnational Kingdom that will transform the world but to lesser, insidious politics that evidence our enslavement to the world."

What is a learning moment.
What to Do About Angry Christianity by Todd Deatherage
"Angry discourse can certainly motivate and stir people to action, but we as Christians are called to live differently. Shouldn’t we resist the urge to be a part of the angry mob rather than proudly trumpet our affiliation with it?"

What needs to be reevaluated and learned from.
Are Women Leaning In? Not at Evangelical Organizations by Richard Stearns
"A new survey about women in leadership positions at evangelical organizations puts into stark relief the differences between what we believe and what we practice. The study found that more than 90 percent of evangelical men and women believe that “men and women [should] have freedom to pursue their gifts and callings without regard to gender roles.” Yet, in practice at these organizations, women hold just 20 percent or less of leadership positions. It is because God created men and women equally, yet uniquely, that we need women to be fairly represented in the leadership of Christian organizations."

What makes good points.
#Blessed. by Jamie the Very Worst Missionary
"We've created a culture in which we measure God's “blessings” in terms of dollars and cents, comfort and pleasure, wealth and well-being. So, if we're happy and healthy and have everything we need, then we're blessed, and we should thank God on social media. We tend to ignore the secondary message this sends to those who are unhappy or unhealthy, or for whom things are just generally crappy. Too bad, so sad, if your life sucks, you're #NotBlessed. The third unintended takeaway we get when we slap the word "blessed" on every aspect of our own upward mobility is that God's blessings obviously belongs to the rich, and must be doled out to the poor as the rich see fit. The richer, the #Blesseder."

What changed my perspective.
My Failure, White Christians, and Unintentional Racism by Beyond the Picket Fence
"Purchasing fair trade items does not make us heroes. Selling fair trade items does not mean we are "lifting people out of poverty." In fact, it might not even mean we're being fair. It hopefully means we are thoughtful business people and responsible consumers - which is a great thing to aim for, as long as we don't delude ourselves into thinking it's something else."


What helped me learn.
When We Doubt - The Wilderness Between Our Mountaintop Experiences by Larry Largent

"God’s initial response to our doubt, the response that happens while we are still in the middle of the wilderness — that response, it is all about grace! It is a response that says, “Yes, you have found yourself steeped in the dark night of the soul but you are my chosen people, my chosen prophet, and I have called you out for a purpose. Let me sustain you for forty days, or forty years, or the rest of your life, but through this time of hardship.”"

Tweets

Current Mood: pic.twitter.com/bWCFunMmMx
— Aggie Humor (@AggieHumor) November 5, 2014

Today may I not try to harness God & put Him to work for my ambitions, but release myself into His
— Ben Stuart (@Ben_Stuart_) November 3, 2014

One time I looked up from my phone in public and I ended up interacting with a bunch of people. Just a warning. It could happen to anyone.
— Lurk @ Home Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) October 30, 2014

Our Christmas Gift Catalog is now available online! Give a gift of hope in honor of friends and family for Christmas! https://t.co/BGpDl2pIYy
— CRF (@CRFtweets) November 10, 2014

I like this kind of weather as long as I never have to go outside. Or get out of bed. Or feel cold.
— Emily Whelchel (@EmilythePerson) November 11, 2014

One year ago: My November Reading List
Three years ago: Crying at a Concert
Five years ago: Poor Stop Sign...

Orphan Sunday

Fawn is a sweet little girl who is waiting for a family.

She is only two years old, but she is already learning so much. She is described as lively, active, and extroverted. She loves to smile, watch people on TV, and interact with other children. Fawn can already walk, jump, and go up and down stairs all by herself.

Fawn has heterochromia iridium, so her eyes are a unique and beautiful color. She is also hard of hearing and unable to speak at this point. However, she is already learning to understand the facial expressions of those around her. She loves to imitate people. Her caretakers say that she likes to pretend that she is talking on the phone.

This little girl is so precious and has so much potential for a bright future. Imagine how much she can excel under a family environment and with a sign language. If Fawn is given a language of her own, she will be able to communicate with and learn from the world so much more clearly.

If you are unable to take Fawn into your family, consider praying for her or donating towards her adoption fund.

Five years ago: The Monster
Four years ago: Reviewing: Demon: A Memoir by Tosca Lee

The Corn Maze

I don't know why, but few things carry the feel of autumn better than a field of ripe corn.

In early November, my friends and I traveled an hour away from our home until we found a corn maze. We arrived before dark, just in time to take a few autumn-style pictures with the tall, golden stalks of corn.

As the sun set, a creepy Children of the Corn vibe fell over us. We jumped into character, posing as eerily as we could among the dying plants.

Later that week, Sam and I actually watched the Children of the Corn film for the very first time. We are big scary movie fans, but we weren't impressed by that Stephen King movie at all. Not even for an old film. But we did enjoy acting out the parts of the creepy farm children.

Being strange sometimes comes more naturally to me and my friends than it does to be normal.

But we had fun.

A corn maze is full of twists and turns. As we maneuvered our way through the darkness, we managed to get ourselves completely lost. We found our way out eventually, but we considered giving up for the night and sleeping on the hard-packed dirt paths. Maybe we would have better luck in the daylight.

It's my final year of college. Looking into the future is impossible, especially when a change is approaching that I haven't experienced before. I don't know what it will be like to live completely on my own, with new friends yet again, a new home, and a life without studying and looming exams.

Although I am excited for what's to come, I am trying to treasure these last few months of college instead of wishing them away.

So I am thankful for nights of running through tangled corn mazes. I'm thankful for autumn. I'm thankful for roommates. I'm thankful for warm jackets on cold nights.

When I was in high school, going through a corn maze in the fall was a tradition for me and my friends. We went every year, bringing more people each time as our tradition grew. I managed to gather a group to go to the corn maze my freshman year of college, but I haven't been since.

Returning to an old tradition is a happy, peaceful feeling.

It was a good day.

Four years ago: Wonderful
Five years ago: The Stairs that Lead to Nowhere