Day 7: Five things you couldn't possibly live without

1.) My Bible.  I know, I know.  That's the cliche, perfect, goody two shoes Christian answer, but it's true.  I read my Bible when I can't sleep at night (quite often).  It comforts me when I have my mini-anxiety attacks.  It teaches me the answers to difficult situations.  It even shows me what to say to help a friend or respond to a faulty teacher.  My Bible is like my guidebook.  I love it.

2.) My laptop.  Without this thing, I wouldn't have written Before You.  I wouldn't have my Facebook.  I wouldn't be connected to the world.  I would have nowhere to store my multiple photos and videos.  Most of all, I use my computer for writing.  All of my stories, poetry, journal entries, and songs are stored in documents on my computer.  I type 130 words per minute, but I write with a pencil much more slowly.  When I'm writing on the computer, I feel like my mind can flow more closely to its normal speed.

3.) My guitar.  My acoustic guitar is how I vent my anger, how I express strong emotions, and how I release some of my creative energy.  Although I can't play as much as I would like to, I don't know what I would do without my guitar.  It's a Seagull, my favorite brand.  It has a beautiful sound.  I love its color, its music, its everything. 

4.) My camera.  It's old and needs to be replaced, yes, but without a camera, my life is undocumented.  I take hundreds upon hundreds of pictures each month.  Without my beloved camera, I would have to remember everything on my own.  You know that show, Hoarders, where the people are afraid to throw their belongings away because they're afraid they'll forget the memories attached to them?  I'm like that, but with photographs.

5.) My iPod.  My playlist (of my favorite songs) is nearly 800 songs.  And that's just my favorite songs.  I listen to a lot of music.  I listen to my iPod in my bedroom.  I listen to my iPod in my car, since I don't have a car radio.  Without my iPod, I would be stuck music-less, especially since I hate the radio.  Yeah, long story.

Yes, those are five things I couldn't live without.  If I could have listed ten things, I would have added my car, my phone, my hair straightener, my bed, and my Ted Dekker book collection. :)

Day 6: A moment you wish you could relive

It was ninth grade.  I stood in a group with some casual friends of mine.  We were at a high school basketball game, but none of us was actually watching.  We had formed a circle, laughing and chattering and sharing all sorts of stories.  Several kids from the opposing school had joined us, and they were all cursing and talking about raucous subjects.  To my surprise, the kids I was with joined in without batting an eye.  I tried my best to stay out of the crude conversations, but I didn't want to leave the group , so I continued to laugh and talk with everyone without cussing or talking inappropriately.

At one point, a boy pulled me to the side.  "I've been watching you," he said.  "You're different.  There's something about you.  You stand out from the crowd.  I can't tell if it's the way you act, the way you talk... or what.   What is it about you that's so different?"

I was shy and timid, proud of myself for merely joining in a conversation that included people I didn't know.  I knew the answer to the boy's question: I stood out from the others because I loved Jesus.  I was a Christian.  However, I was embarrassed.  I didn't want to sound preachy or annoying.  I didn't want to look silly.  I stammered around for a few seconds before finally muttering, "I don't think there's anything different about me." 

"No, there is something different.  I can see it.  What is it?"

"Nothing.  It's nothing.  I guess I'm just a unique person," I mumbled and turned away from the boy and back to the crowd.

I dreamed about that situation for nights afterword.

I had a chance to share the Word of God with someone who didn't believe, and I lost that chance.  I failed the purpose God had for me in that moment.  To this day, I still feel incredibly guilty.  I hate the feeling of having failed God.  If I could go back right now, I would share my faith with that boy and chance a weird look or a mocking laugh.  I would embrace any ridicule I received. 

If you're ever in a situation where you're given the chance to share your faith- but possibly face ridicule- share your faith.  Don't let yourself feel ashamed of your choice later on when you have a moment to look back on the day.  Jesus is worth any and all ridicule.  Never be ashamed of what you believe.