I spoke for about thirty minutes, and then after, I sat at a table in the back of the room and signed books.  It was cool to be able to meet the people who listened to what I had to say and learn their names.  By the end of the night, my signature was getting more and more messy!

Before I spoke, when my grandma and I were praying and preparing in a back room that was completely painted pink, I practiced what I was going to say ahead of time... most of which I completely threw out the window when I actually got up there to speak.  I'm really not much of a speaker, but I was shocked to see that everyone was attentive and listened, and some people seemed to be really touched by what I said, which is all I could ask for. 

I told the story of when I was at a basketball game, hanging out with some kids that weren't necessarily Christian.  While we were hanging out, a guy pulled me aside and said, "You seem different from everybody else... happier, maybe, I don't know... what makes you so different?"  Embarrassed and shy, I replied, "Nothing makes me different... I'm just a happy person."  I missed the opportunity, and I never want to miss another opportunity like that again.

I hope I didn't tonight.

Several teens stood up and went into another room to be counseled for salvation.  A few more rededicated their lives to Christ. 

I left City Church feeling encouraged by the smiling faces and the fellowship.  I hope I made some kind of an impact. 

On the way home, I heard a song by Nichole Nordeman called "Legacy," and it truly expressed what I am feeling today.  It goes:

"I want to leave a legacy.
How will they remember me?
Did I choose to love?
Did I point to you enough
To make a mark on things?..."

---

This year for me, and I don't know why, seems to be more exhausting than exhilarating.  I am finding myself wearied about things that used to thrill me.  Even getting up and going to church is starting to turn into a monotonous, repetitive task- something that I do every single week without fail.  When my alarm clock rings for the morning, I can barely open my eyes.  I read a chapter or two of the Bible every night.  I used to feel eager about it.  Now I just feel... blah.  You may feel the same way.

And why is that, I wonder?

Is this holiday season stocked so full with commercialization and the hustle and bustle of everyday life to the point that it is wearying us beyond excitement?  Are we forgetting the real reason behind why we should be excited about life?  About God? 

The apostles in the Bible were absolutely stoked about Christ.  They wanted everybody to know that they were happy.  I mean, read about them.  They sang and rejoiced while they were being flogged with whips.  They weren't satisfied with their lives, but not in the same way that we might be now.  They weren't feeling bored... no, they weren't satisfied because they wanted to do more for Christ, to tell more people about Him, to share until the whole world heard. 

Who have you told about Jesus lately?  Seriously, when was the last time you witnessed to someone?

Over the summer, I have a lot of free time, and because of that, I enjoy going on mission trips and going to the park to witness to kids and volunteering at mission-based organizations.  I get to see the work of Christ unfolding before my very eyes.  It's so easy to become excited about something that is so tangible, something that you are experiencing every single day.

Now, life is so busy.  Many of us may not see God in the same way as we did four or five months ago.  We might not be as focused on serving solely Him anymore.  And that needs to change.

I'm not quite sure yet what it's going to take.  Maybe we need to make ourselves be over exuberant during worship time at church until we start to feel true excitement about praising Him.  Maybe we need to volunteer our spare time more.  Maybe we need to be out there, witnessing to the world, even during the school year, because there are still too many people who do not know Him.

I am going to try and write more about this in a few days, but until then, I want to strongly encourage you to fight against the December blah-ness.  Don't let yourself become apathetic and world-weary.  Find excitement and joy in simple things.  And most of all, shine like a spotlight until Jesus can be openly seen wherever you are.  Shine through the apathy, shine through the commercialism, shine through the lazy contentment, shine through everything until everyone can see Him inside of you.