Today marks a special day in my life. 

Two years ago, I was a counselor at Angel Tree Camp, an annual four-day-long camp for kids who have incarcerated family members.  This was my third year to be a counselor.  Being with the kids always taught me so much.  Many of them had been physically and sexually abused.  They all lived with so many doubts, fears, and insecurities.  The girls would ask me things that left my head spinning, like, "We actually get THREE meals a day here?!"  Eleven girls were in my cabin that year, from my city, and they'd been through so much more than I could ever imagine.

I'd just gotten back from Kenya, Africa the month before, so my heart was nearly bursting with passion for the mission field and ending poverty.  While these girls faced different struggles than the kids in Africa did, their trials and hardships were still very real and very painful. 

Each night we would go to a big meeting where the camp pastor would speak about God's love and forgiveness and faith.  One night we put floating crosses in a lake and had each camper light a candle representing someone who had hurt them in the past.  When they placed the lit candle on one of the crosses, they were expressing their forgiveness for that person.  The exercise was filled with tearful embraces, painful memories, and a lot of prayers. 

On one of the last nights of the camp, after a beautiful prayer walk that lasted much longer than expected, the pastor asked if anyone wanted to be baptized.  This was a spur of the moment decision.  We all sat or stood around the camp's swimming pool, several kids dangling their legs in the still water.  It was about 11:00 at night.  Most of the kids hesitated.  Since nearly all of them lived in the same area of town, they went to the same schools and lived on nearby blocks.  They were all peers.  Everyone was watching.  Peer pressure can be tough on a child who is already insecure. 

I immediately felt a tug on my heart from the Lord.  Be an example.  It's time for you to be baptized.  After such a God-filled summer, baptism seemed like the perfect way to declare my commitment for the Lord.  But... I was a counselor, not a camper.  Despite my mental protests, the tug on my heart wouldn't stop. 

Several of my girls had given their hearts to the Lord throughout the week.  I could see them hesitating just like I was.  It's a frightening moment to step in front of hundreds of your peers and be baptized.  After a few agonizing moments, I decided to obey the Lord.  My voice wobbled as I spoke to one of my best friends' mom, who was the music leader at the camp.  "I need to be baptized."

"You haven't been baptized?" she asked, sounding a bit surprised.

I shook my head no.  "This is something I need to do."

Still dressed in a pair of denim capris and a t-shirt, wearing glow-in-the-dark jewelry, I stepped into the cold water and embraced my pastor.  When I remember that moment, it feels hazy and far away.  I know I felt God all around me.  My heart was pounding a million miles a minute.  Tears were streaming down my cheeks.  I remember torch light bouncing off the water.  My pastor said a few sweet words about me and then he baptized me before the entire camp.

I remember emerging from the water, hearing the cheers of my friends and kids.  I remember being wrapped in a towel and shivering violently in the cool night air.  My girls practically tackle-hugged me when I returned to the edge of the pool where they sat.  Several of my best friends, who were also camp counselors, tearfully embraced me.  It was such a special, special moment. 

Probably thirty campers were baptized that night and a few counselors as well.

I'm so glad I obeyed God's whisper in my heart.  I will never forget that night.

August 2 will always be a special day in my life because it was the day I was baptized.

What's your story?

Today is the beautiful Ali's nineteenth birthday.  Wow, I cannot believe we're getting to be this old.

I wonder, Ali, how long it will take you to notice this little birthday note. ;)

Ali, you are such a special person in my life.  I'm so glad to have been able to spend this year with you.  I never thought it would be possible to grow as close to a friend as we have.  While you will always be my friend, you have also truly become my sister.  No matter how much distance is put between us, you are family to me.  I'm so glad for the memories we've shared, even the ones that were hard.  It's amazing to see how Christ has worked in our lives, isn't it? 

I don't think I've ever stayed up all night without realizing more than I have with you.  We do that at least once a week, haha. ;)   How can we even find things to talk about for nine hours straight? 

You have been such a light to my family.  We all love you so much.  God has blessed me with our relationship.  I don't know where I would be without you, silly moments and all.  No matter where life takes us, I know we will ALWAYS be there for each other.  Not many other relationships have that ability, but ours does.  Thank you for being my sister, Ali. 

I love you, weirdo. :)  Happy birthday.

R: Reading

For as long as I can remember, I have loved to read.  I started reading at a very early age.  In fact, my parents would often have me read aloud in front of their friends to "show off."  I'm sure many parents do this... especially with their first child, which I am.  And then there were also the times when Dad taught me the answers to complicated math problems when I was a toddler and then would take me out to dinner with his friends and convince them I was some sort of math genius.  Funny that I turned out to be so untalented at that particular subject.

I started out reading hundreds and hundreds of Looney Tunes comic books when I was about four.  They were my dad's old childhood comics and I devoured them like crazy.  I thought they were so funny.  They were probably what gave me my first love for reading.  I also loved Calvin and Hobbes, even though I didn't always get the jokes as a little girl.  I actually had to get glasses when I was around six or so because the doctor said I read so much! 

By the time I was nine or ten, I would typically read a several hundred page book in an afternoon.  I took books everywhere, reading in restaurants and in the car and in church before the service.  I loved going to the library and checking out more than twenty books at a time.  I remember that at first, they tried to convince me not to get so many for fear I wouldn't be able to finish them all... but after a couple of times, they would just laugh and wave me off.  I'm a naturally fast reader, but these days I tend to force myself to read slowly, repeating a page two or three times so I won't devour the book so quickly, especially if it's something I've been waiting to read for a long time!  I want to savor every word.

While I still love to read, I don't read as much anymore.  I often take my Kindle out with me and manage to squeeze in snippets of classic books here and there, but when I'm at home with time to spare, I usually choose to write instead.  When I do decide to sit down and read, unless the book totally captures my attention (and I'm pretty picky. Not many do.), it'll take me quite a while to finish it because I'll become bored or impatient and do something else instead.

My reading list has been piling up over the last few weeks.  I've ordered several books that I can't wait to begin, but it will take me a while to find the time to read them all.  Here's the pile in my room:

"A Stolen Life" by Jaycee Lee Dugard

"Peter Pan" by J. M. Barrie (I actually have read this multiple times, but it's one of my very favorites, so I ordered this special illustrated version the other night.)

"The Gospel According to Lost" by Chris Seay

"Genesis" by Ted Dekker (never published)

"The Help" by Kathryn Stockett

All of the "Harry Potter" books by J.K. Rowling

And then of course there is the big list of books I'd like to re-read for the fun of it, but those are further down on the list of my priorities.

A book I recently finished is "Forbidden" by Ted Dekker and Tosca Lee.  I received a signed copy of "Forbidden" in early June, much to my delight.  When I first discovered that Ted Dekker and Tosca Lee would co-author a tirlogy, I almost had a heart attack.  My two favorite authors writing three books together.  So exciting.  "Forbidden" will be released on September 13, 2011, so stay tuned.  It is phenomenal.  You can pre-order the book right here and I highly recommend you do.

Later today or tomorrow morning I'll post an actual review of "Forbidden." 

What are some of your favorite books?

Today is part two of the Q&A day on my alphabet blogging challenge.  Because I have the best readers ever who asked lots and lots of questions, I decided to split Q&A day into two days to make the huge blocks of information less overwhelming.  Again, thanks so much for all of your questions.  It means a lot to me that you took the time to ask them.  I answered every question I received before July 29, so if your question wasn't answered here, it should be answered in Q&A Day (Part ONE).

16.) What's the craziest thing you could ever do for God?

- I think once I would have said that the craziest thing I could do for Him would be to die as a martyr, but I don't think so anymore.  Of course that is something I would be willing to do, but it isn't the craziest.  I think the craziest thing I would be willing to do is to give my entire life to Him.  Not just give my life, but give the moments I'm alive as well. 

I want to be willing to make sacrifices that seem insane to everybody else.  I want to be able to abandon everything for Him, spend hours with Him, and become more like Him.  John the Baptist, Moses, Paul, Francis of Assisi... all of those guys seemed a little crazy, right?  I want to be able to be crazy for God like that.  To give everything I have to be who He wants me to be.

17.) I was wondering, how do you get so many people to read your blog? I mean, obviously you don't know everybody who reads your blog (like me) but how do you get them to start reading it?

- I'll admit it's been surprising how many people have read my blog.  I first started out thinking that nobody would care to read what I have to say, but in the last fourteen months, I've gotten more than  420,000 views.  I'm so thankful I have this blog as an outlet to share my heart, my thoughts, and my writing.  I want to blog for the rest of my life now.

I'm not exactly sure how I've gotten so many people to read my blog.  It's really up to whether people like what you have to say, I suppose.  Write about things that you would want to read if you were a visitor to your blog.  Always be honest.  Use proper spelling and grammar whenever possible.  Use paragraphs.  Write frequently (like every day or at least three times a week).  If you want to advertise your blog on Facebook and Twitter, go ahead.  I haven't done much advertising.  I should probably advertise more than I do, in fact.  If you write something that others like, then they'll share your blog with their friends and they'll be sure to come back and read more.

I think one very important thing is whether or not you write for the views.  I don't write for the views.  Although I love it when people read and comment on what I have to say, that isn't why I write.  I think if I started advertising on here all the time and sounding desperate for views and followers, it would start to become annoying and even affect the quality of what I have to say.  I started out with two or three views a day... sometimes no views at all.  At times, I've gotten up to 6,000 views a day.  Lately I've been getting about 300 or so views a day.  But how much do views really matter? 

Just write from your heart.  It might take a while, but people will want to read what you have to say as you continue to mature in your writing and slowly gain some regular readers.

18.) What do you think will be the hardest thing about leaving home for college?

- The hardest thing about leaving home for college will definitely be leaving my family and friends.  I spend a lot of time with my family.  My mom and I go shopping together, eat lunch together, and watch movies (and Lost) together almost every single day, so it's going to be strange not to spend a lot of time with her.  My grandparents and I are also very close, so it's going to be hard only seeing them once every month or two. 

I know teens hang out with friends a lot, but my friend situation is different than most.  Because Ali has been living at my home and the homes of two other friends throughout the year, our three families have kind of turned into one big family.  For holidays and birthdays, our three families usually get together.  It's been so special to grow even closer to my best friends.  We've all become family to each other.  I literally spend time with my friends every single day, whether it's at family functions or just hanging out.

I'm sure every new college student has to face the stress of making a brand new group of friends and living on their own. I expect that it will be very hard for me to have to start over after making such close friends as I have right now.  I don't know anyone who has a better group of friends than I do.  We are so close knit that we literally call each other family.  It's so special.  So that's what will be hardest for me.  Leaving the ones I love.  After all, I'll be moving ten hours away.  Thankfully, one of my best friends will be going to A&M with me, so we'll be able to spend some time with each other throughout the year.  Praise God!

19.) How are you dealing with the drought?  What kinds of rules/laws are put in place because of it, and how are you adapting?

- The drought has been very difficult on my family since our well is going dry.  We're having to use water bottles and jugs of water for everything.  The water that we have left is a sandy-brown color and unusable.  It's also been difficult because of the fire warnings.  Several houses have burned down in my city this summer because of fires.  It's a scary thought to know that one spark could wipe out our entire area.

The biggest law right now is that no fireworks are allowed anywhere near our county.  This was so sad since 4th of July is my favorite holiday.  However, fireworks are a luxury, so while I was disappointed that we didn't get our annual display out at my house, it wasn't that big of a deal.  Our city is considering setting up a water ration.  This would mean that each home would no longer be able to water their lawns and could only use a certain amount of water a day.  This actually would not affect my family whatsoever because my family doesn't use city water.  We have our own pitiful well.

20.) If you could have lunch with any person, dead or alive, who would you eat with?

- This is easy.  Elvis Presley!  I have a bit of a crush on him and I would love to eat a meal with him.  If I was lucky, we'd fall in love and get married the next day. ;)  Actually, I'd love to ask him some questions about his faith and his music.  If not Elvis, my second choice would be Michael Jackson.  After him would be Ted Dekker, my favorite author.

21.) Who inspires you?

- People who outshine their disabilities inspire me so much.  If I ever decide to have kids and make a family, I would seriously consider adopting a child with a physical disability (like an amputee).  I don't know why, but whenever I hear stories about amputees who are so positive and so inspirational and determined, tears come to my eyes.  I believe God puts every one of us here for a reason, disabled or not. 

People who have joy despite terrible circumstances also inspire me.  Seeing the children in Kenya who loved life and who loved Jesus even though they had nothing changed my life forever.  It was amazing to me that joy could be found in such a desolate place.  Pure joy is such a rare and special thing.  I believe I found it many times in the hearts of those living in Africa.

22.) What is your favorite verse?

- I talk about my favorite verse a lot on this blog.  It's Psalm 77:19, which says, "Your path led through the sea, Your way through the mighty waters, though Your footprints were not seen."  It means so much to me because it got me through a particularly difficult time when I felt like I was drowning in a sea of pain.  I couldn't find God's presence anywhere, but His footprints was still there.  He was still working in my life, even when I couldn't find Him.

23.) What has been the best piece of advice you have ever heard?

- I really like this question.  During a tough time in my life, a sweet lady named Tanya Gordon befriended me and mentored me for several months.  She helped me and encouraged me in so many ways.  In fact, I'm not sure where I would be in my faith right now if it wasn't for her friendship.  It was also her idea to put my story of overcoming cutting and depression onto paper to inspire others.  Anyways, one of the best pieces of advice she gave me during this time was that the depth of my valleys indicated the height of the mountains in my life later on.  Perhaps I was struggling because I was being tested for greater things.  I'd never heard that before and it touched me so much.  In fact, I've said that same thing to several others who are struggling because I believe it's true.  So thanks, Tanya.  Your advice meant more to me than you will ever know.

24.) What are you most nervous about with regards to leaving for college?

- I almost blended this with #18 above, but the questions are a bit different, so I decided to answer them separately.  While the hardest thing for me will be leaving my friends and family, I don't know if that is what makes me the most nervous.  I think I'm the most nervous about becoming an adult and living on my own.  I'm not independent yet. 

My car was hit today by someone pulling into a parking spot while I was inside eating lunch.  Even though it wasn't that big of a deal and I couldn't have done anything about it, I felt panicky and unsure of myself until my mom took over and told me what to do.  I may be eighteen, but I still feel like a child in a lot of ways.  Moving ten hours away from my parents and living on my own scares me quite a bit.  However, I know it's time for me to grow up.  This is something that needs to happen.

25.) Is there any way for you to make your website be able to be followed?

- I am not a computer person.  I'm a writer, yes, but I don't know a whole lot about computers and the internet.  I'm pretty sure that if you click the button at the bottom of this page that says, "Subscribe to this blog's feed," you'll get an email every time I post something, but honestly, I've never tried it for myself.  I use an awesome website called www.bloglovin.com to follow my favorite blogs.  Blog Lovin' is my internet addiction.  Simply type in the address of all the blogs you follow and it'll keep their latest posts all on one page.  This is the easiest way I've seen to check if someone has updated their blog.  You just have to look in one place.  Blog Lovin' is amazing. 

26.) How did you overcome self-harm?

- This is a big question to answer in a small space like this.  Overcoming self-harm wasn't easy and sometimes I'm still tempted to start back.  It is a very tough thing to overcome, but it's so worth it.  One of the biggest things that made me stop was wanting to stop.  I could tell myself over and over, "I'm going to stop.  This will be my last time.  No more," but until I was determined to end the addiction and treat my body the right way, I didn't have the will power to stop cutting.  You have to want to stop. 

Finding positive outlets for negative emotions is also vitally important.  You have to decide, "Next time I get upset or have a bad day, instead of self-injury, I'm going to ________."  Your outlet could be writing down all of your anger into a journal and then crumpling up the paper.  It could be playing an instrument.  It could be going on a five mile run.  Whatever it is, it needs to be healthy and a way to vent your pain and frustration. 

Find accountability.  If you're feeling tempted to self-harm, call up a friend.  Don't let yourself be in a room by yourself.  I know it can be a horrible feeling to tell a friend you self-harm, but if you're struggling to overcome that addiction, you need to let somebody know that you haven't cut in ____ days.  Keep track of how long you've been without cutting.  You'll want to be able to reward yourself with each special date that goes by.  The first day, the first week, the first month, the first year.  Every day you go without hurting yourself is reason for celebration.  The longer you go, the easier it will become.  Also, if you keep track of how long you've gone without cutting, you reallllllly won't want to break that by relapsing.

You'll need to learn to love yourself again.  If you're constantly telling yourself, "You're stupid.  You're ugly.  You're worthless.  You deserve to die.  I hate you," then it will be hard to see why you shouldn't self-harm.  Deliberately look in the mirror and point out your attractive features.  Make lists of things you like about yourself.  When you mentally (or audibly) say something negative about yourself, correct it immediately.  Deuteronomy 14:1-2 says, "You are the children of the Lord your God.  Do not cut yourselves... Out of all the peoples on the face of the earth, the Lord has chosen you to be his treasured possession."  You are treasured.  Keep reminding yourself how special you are, even when you don't feel that way.

Most importantly, you need to start to repair your relationship with God.  He will give you the power to overcome any addiction.  All you have to do is ask.  When you're feeling tempted, spend time in prayer.  Read the Bible.  Learn more about God's promises for you.  He will help you overcome self-harm, just like He helped me. 

27.) What is your favorite film?

- "The Truman Show" is probably my favorite movie of all times.  A close second would be "Pirates of the Caribbean" and then "August Rush."

28.) What do you believe about God using people?

- I wish I had more context surrounding this question so I could know more of what you mean.  Do I believe that God uses people?  Definitely.  I think He used Moses to free the Israelites from slavery.  I believe He used Deborah and Esther to save Israel.  I believe He can use anyone for His glory, even someone who doesn't believe in Him.  Think about how the Lord used Pharaoh in the Bible, even though Pharaoh rebelled so strongly against Him.  God can use anyone.  I pray every day that God will use me to further His kingdom.  If I knew more of what you were asking, I think I would be able to answer this question better.

29.) Are you ever going to post more songs on YouTube?

- For those of you who don't know, I have a music channel on YouTube called EmilythePerson.  I haven't posted a song in a few months.  I know it's been a while, and yes, I do want to post more songs on YouTube eventually.  What I've actually been doing lately is recording an album.  It isn't professional quality (I'm using a microphone and some basic software), but it will be a gift for some family members who enjoy listening to my songs and will miss my voice while I'm at college.  After I finish recording that album, I'll definitely start posting more songs on YouTube and hopefully some before then as well. 

In the meantime, I have another YouTube channel that I use more regularly.  It's a vlog called TheLifeofEmily.  I post all sorts of things like adventures with friends, clips of my puppy, and behind the scenes of Ali's and my "Facing Prejudice" social experiment.  On average, I post something new about two to three times a week.

30.) I don't think I would be comfortable enough to just let anyone online know my secrets. Do you think not being that open with others is a bad thing?  (Someone actually commented and asked me this question on Q&A Day part one, but I felt like it was a big enough question to include in this post.  It deals with a somewhat controversial topic about how transparent Christians should be.)

- I feel like one difference between the person asking this question and me is that although I choose to keep some things private for now, I don't feel like they're secrets.  At this point, I don't think certain things in my life need to be shared online and I don't share everything I'm going through, but if I was asked directly about those things or if the Lord asked me to share them, I would do so without hesitation because I don't feel like they're secrets. 

I do believe that we as Christians should attempt to be transparent with our lives.  We are a city on a hill.  People are watching us to see how we live our lives and whether or not we own up to our faults. I believe we need to allow our issues to be used by the Lord, but I don't think this means you have to voluntarily share everything with everyone all at one time. If you are struggling with a private trial, then I don't think you have to step up and share that struggle with the entire world to ensure you are transparent. Share what you feel the Lord is asking you to share, and don't try to cover something up if you're confronted about the issue.  Keeping secrets is a risky business.  You can be open and honest without voluntarily sharing everything in your heart. 

On my blog, I tend to share more of my past trials that I've been able to overcome through Christ than the things I'm struggling with right now (although I'll make an exception if I feel the Lord is asking me to share while I'm in the midst of my trial).  The main reason I share as much about my emotions and trials as I have is because I feel like I've messed up a whole lot, but God is able to use the story of my struggles to encourage others. If that's the case, I'm willing to swallow some of my shame and embarrassment to follow what I believe God is asking me to do.

So I don't think we have to share everything with everyone, but I do believe we need to keep our lives open enough to be willing to share something when God asks us to share it. After all, according to Matthew 10, "...nothing is covered that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known. What I tell you in the dark, say in the light, and what you hear whispered, proclaim from the housetops..." Eventually all that is hidden will be revealed, so don't desperately rely on the privacy of your secrets. Always keep your mistakes, struggles, and victories open for the Lord to use. :)

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Thanks so much for the questions.  :)

Today is Q&A day.  Thanks so much for all of your questions.  It means so much to me that you took the time to write your comments and ask me questions.  In fact, I got so many questions from you guys that this post was becoming way too long.  When I scrolled through the page, even I was overwhelmed by how much information was stuffed into one post.  So I separated Q&A day into two days.  Tomorrow's post will also be part two.  I answered every question I received, so if you asked me something before yesterday, then your answer should be in one of the two Q&A sessions.

1.) What kind of roommate do you hope you get/don't get in college?  Or are you going to have your own dorm?

- Well, I'll have my own room.  I am an insomniac, so I have a lot of sleeping issues.  I've tried to share a room with someone in the last year and it just didn't work out.  However, I WILL be having suitemates, who will share the kitchen/living room area with me.  There will be four of us sharing this area in total, so I will still have to learn to live with other girls. 

I'm hoping that these girls will be Christians, but since I'll be going to a secular university, I don't have any guarantees.  My family and I have been praying for God to place the right girls in my dorm, so I trust that everything will turn out okay.  My biggest issues would be someone who steals (obviously), someone who brings in a boyfriend at inappropriate times (like to sleep over), or a major partier. 

2.) At what age do you want to get married?

- I don't have a specific age.  I don't want to feel like, "Oh no, I'm twenty-three.  I need to get married by the end of this year!"  I want to be older than I am now when I get married.  It'd be nice to graduate college first, but I won't limit myself.  If it's a God-thing, I'll get married before then.  It all depends on when I fall in love. :)

3.) Do you want any kids?

- At this point, I can't see myself being a mom.  I'm not a very nurturing person and I tend to be impatient.  However, it will ultimately depend on what God wants for my life, so I don't want to give an absolute no.  But if I do have kids, I would like it to be later on in life.

4.) What's your favorite movie and why?

- I love The Truman Show.  It seems like a very strange movie to be my favorite, but for some reason, the idea of a man being documented for his entire life and everyone around him being actors fascinates me.  I've probably watched that movie fifteen times.

5.) Do you have any things you are always describing people as? Ex: you're such a beast, but in an endearing way. :)

- Haha, this question made me laugh. :)  I don't think I've ever been asked this before.  Well, I couldn't think of anything at first, but then I remembered.  My best friend Ali and I have this thing where we call each other "nerd" and "weirdo" when we first see each other and when we're saying goodbye.  It's very friendly, like, "Hey, nerd."  "Hey, weirdo."  But that's something we've done for probably two or three years. 

6.) How are you comfortable sharing so much about yourself online?

- Hmm, it depends on what you mean.  I try to avoid sharing too many tangible details about myself, like where I live and pictures of my house and etc.  When it comes to details and information, I try to limit myself to what you might see on an author bio, since I'd love to be an author one day.  It'll often state: "First and Last Name has these family members, lives in this state, and went to this university.  Here are some hobbies."  I probably wouldn't even share the name of my university if it wasn't one of the biggest universities in the United States.  My parents and grandparents also all read my blog.  If they were ever to become uncomfortable with the level of personal information I was sharing about myself online, they'd let me know and I would most definitely take it down.  Oh, another security measure I take: when I go out of town, I almost always share the traveling journal on my blog AFTER I already get back so that I won't let the entire world know that my house is currently empty. :)

If you're talking about how I can bring myself to share personal thoughts and feelings about myself online (which is the version that most people ask), I suppose it's because I used to be such a secretive person.  There were so many doubts and secrets and sins that I was hiding in my life that I finally became sick of it.  I want to be a city on a hill, willing to share my flaws and my struggles and my triumphs through Christ because I believe that we can learn from each other's trials and victories. 

Also, I can vent my emotions much more easily through my writings than I can through vocalizing my words.  That's just how my mind work.  So while it may take my friends and family quite a while to get me to spill what I'm feeling, I might easily be able to sit down and write everything out.  And I'll admit: sharing emotions online isn't as scary as going out and giving a speech to a thousand people because I can't SEE you.  All I see is a screen. 

Occasionally I will struggle with whether or not I want a certain issue to be shared with everyone, but if it's particularly difficult, then I'll pray about it and wait.  There's no need to make impulsive decisions on a blog.  In many ways, I see this blog as a ministry.  I've been able to have many beautiful conversations with some of my readers.  I believe that God has been able to use some of my words to inspire and encourage others.  And I hope He'll continue to do that.

7.) What was LASIK surgery like? I'm thinking about getting laser surgery for my eyes... but a bit hesitant...

- It was TOTALLY worth it.  I'm serious.  It didn't hurt.  I didn't have any problems with the surgery.  I could see almost perfectly after about two days and even the first day, I could see enough to watch TV and DESTROY one of my best friends on the Wii.  And now I never have to mess with contacts or glasses again... or at least not for a very, very long time.  I'm terrified of the eye doctor.  It's one of my worst fears.  But it was all worth it because now I can see. :)  And it honestly wasn't a big deal at all.  Here's my journal from that day, in case you're interested.

8.) What are your views on modesty, and what are the limits?

- This is tough because I have trouble saying, "Such and such is immodest and such and such is modest."  I think certain things are definitely immodest, like showing a lot of cleavage or wearing a skin-tight dress, but other things depend on the person and the siuation, like wearing leggings.  Leggings can either be modest or immodest, depending on how you wear them.

A big deal for me is why you're wearing an outfit.  My dad once told me that a guy could consider nearly anything to be tempting, depending on how a girl wears it.  If your intent is to impress guys and look sexy, then you could be immodest, but if your heart is in the right place, it will show in the way you dress and even in the way you walk.

I don't believe in wearing bikinis around guys.  I equate them as about the same as wearing a bra and underwear.  I don't believe in showing excess skin (like short shorts and skirts, belly shirts, and even most spaghetti strap shirts).  I don't like too tight or see-through clothes either.  But like I said before, I don't have specific guidelines.  It depends on the outfit and on the way you're wearing it.

9.) If you could play any sport, what would it be?

- I'm not a very athletic person.  I never have been.  I do wish I had more of a love for working out than I do.  The sport I'd probably want to play is track or cross country.  I wish I loved to run.  People who run a lot are usually very healthy and fit.  It'd be nice to love doing that.  Biking would be another sport I wish I could enjoy. 

10.) Who are your favorite bands/singers?

- Elvis Presley, Colbie Caillat, Group 1 Crew, B. Reith, Britt Nicole, Lecrae, Tedashii, Shane & Shane...  Those are a few of my favorites.  Check them all out!

11.) What is your preferred method of death?  How would you like to die?

- This... disturbed me a little.  Honestly, back when I was depressed and suicidal, I thought about death all the time.  I remember walking through a room and looking for things that could end my life.  Nowadays, I don't really think about it much at all.  I know of ways that I definitely wouldn't want to die, like by burning to death or through suffocation.  But how I'd like to die... I don't know.  Something hopefully painless.  I wouldn't mind dying for Christ.

12.) What would you name the autobiography of your life?

- What a great question!  I've never thought about that before.  I'm about to start reading "A Stolen Life" by Jaycee Lee Dugard, which should be a very captivating memoir.  I'm not even sure what I'd write about in my own autobiography.  I haven't done anything amazing yet.  I can't answer this question yet.  I might write a blog post about it later, but I truly cannot think of a good title.  Good question though.  Very interesting.

13.) What are your greatest strengths and weaknesses?

- My greatest weakness would be my fear.  I tend to be a very hesitant and fearful person.  It's why I'm shy, it's why I'm not as adventurous as I probably should be, and it's what holds me back a lot in life.  I don't like to drive, I don't sleep much, and I'm still afraid to talk to people I don't know well. 

My greatest strengths would be my loyalty and my writing.  It takes a lot to lose my friendship.  I stand up for those I love through everything.

14.) What is your favorite childhood injury?

- My FAVORITE childhood injury?  Well... I don't think I have a favorite!  I'm not a big fan of getting hurt.  One of my most memorable childhood injuries was being bitten by a spider.  We think it was a brown recluse.  It was very painful and the bite got pretty bad at one point.  It was on the front of my left leg.  I still have a scar there.  People always ask me how I have a little hole in my leg.

That's probably why I am so scared of spiders.  They terrify me.  The spider can be the size of a flea and if I see one, I usually scream and/or run out of the room.  Spiders scare me to death.

15.) If you were a crayon, what color would you be, and why?

- I think I would like to be cerulean, because that was always my favorite crayon color as a kid.  It's probably my favorite shade of blue, which is one of my favorite colors.  I also like the name.  Cerulean.  Ceruuuuulean.

If not cerulean, I'd like to be the color black.  I know that sounds so strange, but I really do love the color black.  My room colors are black and white, both at home and in my future dorm room.  I think I just love how black and white contrast with each other, how they look next to each other.  It's funny because I don't tend to see things in black and white like most of my friends do.  I most issues in many shades of gray. 

L: Love

I wrote a list of ten things I look for in a guy when I was a freshman in high school.  This was a big step, coming from a girl who never wanted to get married, who didn't believe in true love.  I'm not posting the original list, so if you'd like to see it, let me know and I may post it in a future entry.

Some of my friends have INTENSE lists of things they require in a future husband.  Seriously.  "I want him to have this type of build, this color hair, this texture of hair, this long of eyelashes, this shade of skin, play this and this sport..."  And I truly, truly hope that they get everything they hope for.  I don't have much of a "type."  Sure, I'm attracted to some guys more than I am others, but there isn't a certain color of hair or eyes that really attracts me more. 

What I'm most concerned about while I'm looking for a future husband is his relationship with the Lord.  If he isn't faithful to God, then how will he ever be faithful to me?  If he isn't mature in his walk, then how will he be able to help me grow in mine?  If he puts himself or a material possession over the Lord, won't he do the same for his family?  His relationship with Jesus is so important.

Today I rewrote my list of things I'd like in a guy.  It's pretty similar to my first list, with a few points changed here and there.  But here is what I have:

1.) My future husband must be a follower of the Lord.  This point will never be changed, which is why it is number one on my list.  My FH needs to be a man of God.  I want him to always put his relationship with the Lord ahead of his relationship with me.

2.) My FH needs to be loyal.  Divorce should never be an option.  Even when we struggle and fight, which I'm sure we will, he cannot be willing to give up. 

3.) He needs to be nice to his mom.  This might sound silly, but this is so important to me.  A guy who is disrespectful to his mom will surely treat me that way one day.  He must be respectful and protective of his mother. 

4.) While I would love for my FH to lead me spiritually in some areas, he also must be able to view me as his partner, as his equal.  If we disagree on something I firmly believe in, he cannot try to push what he believes on me, simply because he is the man.  He needs to respect me for who I am.

5.) He must have a passion for ministry.  He doesn't have to be a full time missionary, but he must love to serve others in some way.  It'd be extra special if we could go on mission trips together every year. :)

6.) I want to feel safe around my FH.  I want to be with someone who protects me and makes me feel loved and secure.

7.) He won't cuss.  Not just around me, but he won't cuss around his buddies as well.  He won't get drunk, smoke, or look at pornography.  He'll stand up for what he believes.

8.) I'd like my FH to be a musician of some sort.  I don't care if he plays an instrument, has a nice singing voice, or is a great songwriter.  In fact, if he's the one for me, then I'm okay with him simply having a LOVE for music.  But marrying a musician of some sort would be extra special.

9.) He'll enjoy traveling.  I love exploring new cultures and places.  It would be wonderful if he had the same passion.  We could travel together.

10.) Finally, my FH must be a friend to me.  I want to be attracted to him, to love him romantically, but I also want to be able to share my secrets and day-to-day life with him and love him as a best friend. 

What are you looking for in a spouse?  If you're already married, did your spouse fill every point on your list? 

I'm looking for questions for my Q&A post coming up on July 30.  If you have any questions you'd like me to answer, please ask them in the comments below or at jacksfavoriteowner@yahoo.com.

I'd appreciate any prayers for my family's water supply right now.  Because of the severe drought where we live, our well is running dry.  What's left of our water is a nasty sandy-brown shade.

See for yourself.

Jesus, PLEASE bring rain.

K: Kicking the Bucket (Bucket List)

I have never actually made a bucket list before, so today I went ahead and wrote out twenty things I want to do before I die.  The list is apt to change here and there as I grow older, but these are all things I would love to experience.  This list took me forever to make, so enjoy.

Visit every continent (other than Antarctica). - I've got three down so far.  I still have many places I'd like to go.

Learn Swahili. - I have Rosetta Stone.  Now I just need the time and diligence.

Publish a book. - Not self publish.  PUBLISH.  This may be the most difficult thing on my list to complete.

Move to a foreign country for at least a year.

Reach one million views on my blog. - Almost halfway there!

Share my faith in a country where Christianity is forbidden.

Fall in love. - Getting married would go along with this idea too.

Purchase a month's wardrobe entirely from thriftstores. - This would just be FUN.

Walk where Jesus walked while He carried His cross.

Vlog every day for a year. - I'll have to have a lot of perserverence for this one.  And a more interesting life.

Learn sign language. - Guess what foreign language I'll be taking in college? :)

Give away a hundred Bibles.

Take a picture of myself every day for a year and see how I change. - I've always wanted to do something like this.  Too bad I won't grow. 

Write a poem every day for a year.

Cut my hair and give it to Locks of Love.

Learn how to speed read. - I have ALWAYS wanted to learn this skill. 

Watch every animated Disney film in existence.

Overcome a fear. - This will be another tough one.

Memorize at least five books in the New Testament. - I've got 1 and 2 John down, but I'd really like to work on Romans, James, and a gospel.

Visit everywhere that Elvis lived. - :)

What are some things on YOUR bucket list?  If you write a blog post about this topic, be sure to send me the link in the comments.  That way, everyone who reads this post (and I) can read what you have to say as well!

I need some more questions for my Q&A day, as part of this blogging challenge.  I'll answer anything you have to ask (unless it's dirty or plain mean).  Ask in the comments below or at jacksfavoriteowner@yahoo.com.

J: Jokes

Jokes aren't really my thing.  I'm not good at coming up with hilarious jokes and riddles off the top of my head like some people are.  One of my favorite riddles lately is:

Who was the only person in the Bible who never had ANY parents, other than Adam and Eve?

I'll share the answer to the riddle at the bottom of this entry.

I'm much better at pulling practical jokes.  I love sitting down with Rebekah and planning ways to turn Muber's life upside down.  We've saran-wrapped cars, filled cars with shredded paper, and sneakily placed funny bumper stickers on the backs of cars.  We've toilet-papered, had shaving cream wars, and even put chopped tuna on front porches.

One prank I thought of recently from our end-of-school-year prank war, I don't think I've shared on this blog.  I wasn't a part of it because I was out of town those days, but Rebekah was genius and the prank was a huge success.

Rebekah and Muber were in the same Bible class.  Our Bible teacher was also out of town that day, so Rebekah's hilarious mother was filling in.  Rebekah's mom proceeded to pass out papers with instructions for a difficult assignment, presumably from our Bible teacher.  Muber's paper said something like:

You have fifteen minutes to memorize Ephesians 1.  During the last fifteen minutes of class, everyone will stand up and recite the chapter.  This will count as two test grades.

Everyone else's papers said something like:

This is a prank on Caleb.  Pretend like you are studying Ephesians 1 to have it "memorized" by the end of the class, but don't act upset.  Act like it's no big deal to memorize an entire chapter of the Bible in half an hour.  Don't let Caleb find out!

Of course, Muber was in a panic.  He knew there was no way he could memorize Ephesians 1 in fifteen minutes, but everyone else played their roles perfectly.  They shrugged the assignment off, saying, "It's no big deal.  I think I already have most of it down."

After fifteen minutes, Rebekah's mom called Muber up to recite the chapter first.  He tried to beg her to let him go last.  "Everybody else already has it memorized.  Please don't make me go yet!"  However, she wouldn't back down.  Muber slowly walked towards the front of the classroom, horrified and embarrassed.  He began to stumble through what little he'd memorized of the chapter.  By this time, the entire class was laughing hysterically, but instead of realizing the joke, Muber thought they were laughing at his inability to memorize Ephesians 1 in fifteen minutes. 

A couple of minutes of struggle passed and Rebekah's mom finally let him off the hook, explaining the prank.  A great success!  Everyone had a good laugh.

Oh!  I thought of another silly joke I pulled on a friend named Joel a couple of years ago.  This was back in the days of MSN messenger.  The conversation occurred a little something like this:

Me: Something terrible just happened.  Someone broke into my house and stole EVERYTHING.

Joel: Oh no! I'm so sorry!

Me: And you know what's creepy?  They replaced everything with exact replicas.

Joel: Oh my gosh! That's horrible! :(

Me: I know.  Even the documents on my computer and all of our family photos are EXACTLY the same.

Joel: You know what's scary?  That means they already had to know everything that was in your house!  I'm so sorry, Emily!  That's terrible!

Well, I thought that surely he'd get the joke in a day or two, so I changed the subject and soon forgot about how gullible my friend had been.  His mom encountered my dad later on.  While they were talking, my dad mentioned the prank I'd pulled and how funny it was that Joel had believed what I said.  When Joel's mom mentioned it to him later, it turned out that he STILL thought someone had broken into my house, taken everything, and replaced it all with exact replicas.

I love gullible people.

Oh, and by the way, the picture to your right is from the time when I tried to teach Muber how to spy on people with a hand mirror.  He's got the creepy part down, but not how to spy SECRETLY.

Anyways, I'll go ahead and share the answer to the riddle above.  Have you guessed it yet?

It is...

Joshua, son of Nun

Hahaha...ha...ha.

What are some of your favorite riddles, jokes, and pranks?

If you'd like to start taking the alphabet blogging challenge on YOUR blog, please let me know in the comments so I can read along.

I: Interesting facts about you

Honestly, I've shared SO much about myself on my blog that it was difficult to think of anything interesting about myself to write.  So I thought I'd share five facts.  I hope they're somewhat interesting.

1.) I'm absolutely stoked to be a member of the Fighting Texas Aggie class of 2015.  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

2.) I'll be taking sign language as my foreign language in college.  I'm very excited.  I've always wanted to learn sign language since I got the chance to minister to a deaf little boy at an inner city ministry where I live.  His mom had never bothered to teach him sign language and his elementary school didn't have the tools to communicate with him.  Despite his struggles to communicate, he was very smart and very sweet.

3.) I have been to twelve countries outside of the United States: England, France, Italy, Germany, Austria, Switzerland, Holland, Canada, Mexico, Kenya, Jamaica, and Haiti.  I've also been to Grand Cayman, but I don't think it's considered to be its own country.

4.)  I'm almost always cold.  At work, I'm constantly wearing a jacket and jeans, even when it's over a hundred degrees outside.  In my room, I'm always curled up in a thick quilt, even if my thermostat says it's 77 degrees in here.  When I take my temperature, my average body temp is about 96 or 97 degrees, which apparently is possible.

5.) On May 5, I had LASIK surgery.  It was one of the best things that ever happened to me.  For the first time in almost fifteen years, I can see without assistance.  I can drive without help.  I can swim without my contacts bothering me.  I don't have to try to remember to take out my contacts each night before bed.  I don't have to worry about contact allergies all the time.  I feel like my eye surgery was a miracle from God.  I can see!

What are five interesting things about you?

(I'm doing a Q&A for one of the days of this challenge.  If you have any questions you'd like me to answer on Q&A day, please ask them below or send me an email at jacksfavoriteowner@yahoo.com. 

H: Hairstyles

I was born towards the end of the feathered bangs area.  All growing up, I had bangs.  Bangs can be cute now, but mine weren't.  Even though I've always been to hairdressers (Mom has always been afraid to cut my hair), they often would make my bangs crooked... and they weren't the long type of bangs either.  Other than my early childhood years, when they rested in an awkward curl on my forehead, they were cropped short at about half an inch above my eyebrows.  Awkward.

So I'll go ahead and take you through a hair tour of my life.  My hair looked absolutely awful until I was almost fifteen.

As a toddler, I actually had blonde ringlets.  My hair was pretty cute back then, minus the nineties-style bows I ALWAYS wore until I became old enough to strongly protest.  I'm not sure how old I was here.  Somewhere in between one and two, I believe.

Here is an example of my feathered bangs stage.

This isn't a style I wore often, but I saw it, laughed hysterically, and had to share.  See, my mom (like myself) does not have a big passion for fixing hair.  She always had trouble putting my hair into the "cute" pigtails and ponytails that all my friends had.  She would try her best, she really would, but these hairdos never seemed to turn out right.  I was about eight here.

And then, of course, there was the period of time where I thought it was SO cool to add tiny braids all over my hair.  Supa cute, right?  I was ten here.

I grew out my hair when I was in sixth grade.  Unfortunately, I was at the point where I still didn't really care what I looked like.  My hair was constantly tangled and NOT looking good.

Mom finally convinced me to get my hair cut a few inches above my shoulders.  This was in eighth grade or so.  Some teens look good with short hair, but this just wasn't my best cut.

Towards the end of eighth grade, I was persuaded to grow out my bangs.  For some reason, I was terrified of this idea.  I don't like change, so the thought of transforming my entire look made me nervous.  I had very low self esteem at the time, so I was positive I would look ugly with long bangs.  Sadly, I didn't know much about hair fashion, so when I decided to go ahead and grow them out, I didn't know how to make them look nice.  No side-parts or swooping to the side.  I just kind of let them... grow.

When it came time for another haircut, my awkwardly-growing bangs reached my chin and the rest of my hair reached my shoulders.  I knew my hair didn't look good, but I didn't understand why at the time so I told the lady who cut my hair to do whatever she wanted.  She layered my hair and showed me how to part my bangs on the side.  For a couple of years after this, I kept my hair very layered and fairly short.  I loved this style. 

As you can probably imagine, I got SO many more compliments on my hair than I ever had in my life.  For the first time in a long time, I actually felt pretty.  I firmly believe that a good haircut is so important for your self esteem.  It can change your look so much.  I got this haircut towards the end of the eighth grade, and I think this was a big reason why I finally started caring how I looked.  I started wearing makeup for the first time the summer before my freshman year of high school, I started TRYING to dress in cute clothes, and I finally started holding myself with confidence. 

My hair has a natural wave to it, so I'll occasionally wear it scrunched, like this. 

And finally, this is pretty much my haircut now.  I don't have very many layers since I need to be able to pull my hair up for work.  My hair is a little longer than it is in this photograph, but it's close.  (I actually need a haircut, but I'm trying to wait until sooner before I leave for college.)  I don't know if it's incredibly stylish, but it works for me.

G: Growing Up

I couldn't think of any specific stories off the top of my head, so I thought I'd just share a few based off of the archive of photos of photos I have on my computer.

This would be my mom when she was newly pregnant with me... trying to show off her "bump."  She does not look twenty-five, does she?  I'm pretty sure this is the first photograph taken when I was in existence.

This picture is of me at four years old.  I was living in Waco, Texas.  We had a swing in our driveway.  At this time, my family lived in a small rental house without much of a yard while my dad was finishing up residency, so the swing and a plastic slide was all I had by way of outside entertainment.  I spent hours on this thing.

It's going to sound totally bizarre, but most of the time I was playing on the swing, I pretended like I was a piglet.  My parents would always try to sit me on my bottom and convince me to swing normally, but I didn't want to do that.  I would get on my stomach with my little arms dangling in the air, and then I would slowly creep back until I was on my very tip toes.  When I let go, I would fly through the air for a few short moments.  During this time, I would proceed to wriggle my arms and legs and make a high-pitched squealing noise, pretending like I was a piggie running from a wolf or a butcher.

Seriously.

I know, I know I was a strange child who played strange games.  Ali was just teasing me a week or two ago after we watched Beauty and the Beast for the millionth time.  She said she always used to pretend she was Belle after seeing the movie.  Well, I used to pretend I was the wolves who attacked Beast and Belle's dad.  As a kid, I always thought they were way cool.

So basically, the reason why I'm on my stomach on this swing is because I was pretending I was a pig running from a killer.  And I was four. 

I cannot BELIEVE I'm about to post this, but I'm covered up in all the right places with bubbles, so I figure it doesn't matter.  This is me at approximately six or seven years old taking a bubble bath in my parents' bathtub.  You might notice the long line of "little people," as my family always called them.  These were my favorite toys.  Most kids act out their dolls and action figures, right?  I never really did that.

I've always been a writer.  Writing is a passion I believe God has always given me.  I would get my little people, put them in lines, and then make up stories about them, not even bothering to act them out.  I just made up stories.  Before I could actually write, I would whisper them or speak them out loud, narrating the stories and everything.  "Flash walked through the forest, crying.  He was the loneliest giraffe ever.  But then Molly came and gave him a huge hug!"  Once I learned to write, around the age I am in this picture, I would line up my toys and then spend hours scribbling out stories about them in thick, college-ruled notebooks.

Here I met my childhood hero, Miss Texas.  I have an autographed poster from her, which I got at first from one of my dad's patients.  After I met her at a charity run, as you can see in this photograph, she sent me a hand-written card with the sweetest note inside.  I still have that card.  It meant so much to me.  Later, she sent me an invitation to a banquet right before she became Miss Texas.  I even made it on the news that night, which excited me to no end.  I still admire Miss Texas for reaching out like she did to a little girl who thought Morgan Matlock was the prettiest and most amazing lady ever.

This would be me at age four.  I was pretending like I was driving a car with my infant sister, who was ten months old.  What makes me laugh about this picture is how all of us managed to fit into this tiny laundry basket.  Who knows how many stuffed animals I squashed in that thing?  I sure loved my dalmatians. 

And finally, this would be me as a homeschooled eight year old.  That night, I informed my parents that one of my many teddy bears and I were going to have a birthday party (because it was his birthday, of COURSE).  I wanted Mom to buy me party hats, but her answer was no.  So I spent the LONGEST time making these hats.  I was very excited about them.  I thought they looked better than any silly hats you could ever find at a store.  So my bear and I had a birthday party that night, right before bedtime. 

What are some of your favorite childhood memories?

If you'd like to start this challenge on your blog, please give me the link in the comments below.  I would LOVE to see your answers for each topic. :)

E: Embarrassing Moment

Okay, I have a lot of these.  Probably more than the average person.  I'm clumsy, shy, and I tend to have a strange sense of humor.  However, I've decided to share one particularly embarrassing moment from about three or four years ago.

I was eating lunch at a deli with some of my friends.  One of these friends was Whitney.  On that day, she happened to be wearing a bright yellow t-shirt.  Yellow is a bright color anyways, but this shirt was NEON.  It was so bright that it was rare.  Surely nobody else in the vicinity would have a shirt the same color.

After going through the line and ordering my food, I started to get my drink out of the fountain.  Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a neon yellow shirt approach me and begin pouring a drink out of the same fountain.  She stepped pretty close to me AND she was wearing a bright shirt, so it would be natural to think that she was Whitney, right?

Spinning around, I balled up my fists and said in a low, growly voice, "What do you think you're doing, little girl?"  Something I'd typically say as a joke to a friend.

Well, it wasn't Whitney.

A forty-something-year-old woman in a neon yellow t-shirt stared at me with a mixture of horror and confusion on her face.

And then, instead of acting cool, instead of laughing it off, instead of apologizing and explaining how I'd mixed her up with a friend, I backed slowly away before rushing back to my table and burying my head in my arms.  My face was probably red for the next two days.

I was so embarrassed.

What's one of your embarrassing moments?

If you're taking the alphabet blogging challenge on your blog, please let us know in the comments!

D: Day in the Life of Me

Of course not every day in my life is the same.  My week days are similar since I work from ten to five EVERY SINGLE DAY, but weekends vary.  I thought I'd go ahead and share a typical Wednesday.

8:50 - I force myself awake after pressing snooze once.  I read an entry out of "Jesus Calling" and then force myself out of bed.  I curl up in my quilt and sit in front of my computer to check my Facebook and blog comments. 

9:05 - Finally alert, I get dressed, pull back my hair into a ponytail, and put on some makeup. (Isn't this an exciting life?)

9:20 - I eat a big bowl of Frosted Mini Wheats for breakfast!

9:45 - I leave for work.

10:00 - I arrive at work.

5:00 - I'm FINALLY done with work!  Time to party!

5:20 - I arrive at home.  I usually relax for about thirty minutes or so, either watching an episode of "Lost" or checking Facebook.

6:30 - Time for dinner!

7:00 - I begin to write for this blog, for a story, a song, anything.  It's been all day since I've written.  My fingers are twitching.  I literally ACHE to write.  All day long at work I've thought about what I would write.  Lines are floating through my head, spilling over until I can't think about anything else.  I write and write and write.

9:00 - Rebekah comes over.  We hug and talk a thousand miles a minute.  We go on a walk.  We swing in the park.  We lay down on the street and soak in the warmth of the asphalt.  We dance.  We listen to Disney music.  We have movie marathons. Eventually, we watch a few episodes of "Lost" on Netflix until we're scared half to death.  We're addicted to that show.

Around 2:00 - Rebekah goes home.  We hug and sing a few lines of "I Miss You" by Shane and Shane.  Walking Rebekah out to her car usually ends up with us talking for a while longer, curled up on the cement of my driveway or sitting almost upside down in her car, talking about anything and everything.

2:30 or 3:00 - I take a shower, brush my teeth, and then curl up in bed.

Yeah, my week days aren't all that interesting.  Pretty pitiful, right?  The weekends are usually much more exciting, but today isn't a Saturday.  It's Wednesday.

Are your Wednesdays much more interesting?

C: Cars

Ask a little girl what type of car she wants and the answer is usually a brightly-colored slug bug, right?  I always wanted a slug bug growing up, although I wanted a black and white one to look like a Converse shoe.  People would always smile at me when I said I wanted a Voltzwagen Beetle, sure that I would change my mind as I got older.

I never did.

When I was fifteen, I ordered my first car off of eBay (seriously!).  It was a former Geek Squad car.  You know, those black and white beetles from Best Buy?  They'd already painted the doors black, which was sad, but I didn't care.  I absolutely LOVED my new car. 

For my birthday, a friend of mine gave me a pair of baby Converse shoes to hang from the mirror and I purchased a pretty pink flower to stick in the vase next to the steering wheel.

I felt like I had the best first car in the entire world.

After a while, I began to have some trouble with my bug.  While I loved the way it looked, I was NOT a fan of how it held up.  It broke down all the time, and since it was a foreign car, each repair cost quite a bit of money.  Oil changes cost more than seventy dollars.  The gas mileage was okay, but even that wasn't AMAZING.  The only great aspects of my car were its appearance and the fact that I could park anywhere.

In the fall of 2010, a service light came on.  Much to my dismay, something small in the engine needed to be replaced, which would cost nearly $1,500.  My parents decided the repair wasn't worth it.  My car had more than 80,000 miles on it.  Plus, it was so small, it would be difficult to ever be able to transport my stuff to college.  They decided to invest in a better car for me.

The car I have now I love even more than my adorable beetle.  It's a silver Toyota Corolla S.  I don't have a picture of it right now, but you can see the same model here.  This car had less than a third of the mileage of my beetle and better gas mileage.  It's a little bigger, but not too big, and it's still cute since it's a sport package.  In the last six months, it hasn't broken down once.

Moving on from the cars I've owned, let me skip back a few years to my sixteenth birthday.  I got my driver's license on my birthday, right after school.  Although I never liked driving much, I was ecstatic. 

Eight days after I got my driver's license, I was in a car accident.  It was my fault.  I misunderstood a traffic law and hit another car.  The huge suburban's back tire was slightly damaged... and my car was nearly totaled.  Thankfully, I had insurance that covered the cost of repairs and aside from a few bumps and bruises on my end, both me and my car were okay.

But after the accident, I could hardly bring myself to drive.  I was terrified.

For days, every time I tried to fall asleep, I would jerk back to consciousness, images of the collision occurring again and again in my mind.  What if I messed up again the next time I drove?  What if someone died?  My mom would try to coaxe me behind the wheel, but my hands would begin to shake and I could hardly concentrate.  For a couple of months, I wouldn't drive unless I had a parent in the seat next to me.

To this day, I still have some driving anxiety.  Of course I can drive much easier now than I could when I was sixteen.  I drive just about wherever I go, but if I have an opportunity to bum a ride from a friend (cough, Ali), I'll take it in a heartbeat.  Driving causes my heart to pound and my mind to race.  My shoulders tense up.  I can't drive for more than an hour or so without feeling exhausted and stressed. 

While I still dread every ten hour road trip to and from College Station, I have a peace about it.  I think I'll always have some minor driving anxiety--I'm just not someone who likes to drive--but I am not TERRIFIED like I once was.  I usually say a quick prayer before I even start my car.  "Please guide me as I drive.  Please keep me safe."  I know the Lord will protect me. 

Do you have driving anxiety?  Any tips?

No worries.  I'm still doing the alphabet blogging challenge, but I'm taking a break for today to share something that truly touched my heart.

I cannot believe that God continues to hold me tight, even when I deserve to be left alone.  My doubts are so human and immature, but He hasn't given up on me yet.  I am absolutely amazed. 

You might remember July 4th's post, where I compared my spiritual and emotional struggles this summer to the terrible drought going on in my city.  I actually wrote that on July 3rd, a particularly difficult day in my life.  Why that was a particularly difficult day, I'm not sure.  I could hardly bring myself to get up and go to church, let alone pay attention to the music and the sermon.  I actually left during the worship and cried in a bathroom stall, simply because I felt abandoned.  I couldn't feel God's presence anywhere.  It was just one of those days, if you know what I mean.

I honestly didn't feel motivated at all that day.  I probably would have curled up into a ball and stayed there for the rest of the evening if there wasn't a cookout at a friend's house.  Even then, I probably would have stayed at home if it wasn't for Rebekah.  Rebekah is one of my best friends in the entire world.  We've been friends since early elementary school, when we were next door neighbors.  This summer, she's come over almost every single day too, even though we live twenty minutes apart. We watch Lost (our latest addiction), go on walks, take pictures, and talk about boys, God, and other things.  She has been a ray of sunshine in my life this summer.

On July 3rd, Rebekah accompanied me to a cookout and then came over to my house.  We planned to watch yet another episode of Lost, but as we were driving home, we noticed the sky.  It looked... dark.  Overcast.  Was it actually going to rain?

Instead of sitting down in front of the TV, Rebekah and I sat down on the warm pavement outside and waited, breathing in the scent of wet earth.  It smelled like rain, so it SURELY was going to rain.  We waited and waited.  Although the sun began to set behind the dark clouds, it wasn't raining.  Disappointment fogged in my mind.  Of course it wouldn't rain.  Since when had even a few droplets of water touched my property?  Weeks.  Months. 

After a while, we decided that if the rain wouldn't come to us, we would go find the rain.  So we started to walk.  Despite the stormy weather, it wasn't windy outside.  In fact, the clouds merely cooled off the hot summer day and made the walk much pleasanter than it would normally be.  Rebekah and I skipped down the road, drinking cream soda and chatting about boys and college and potential adventures.

After about a mile and a half, we decided to rest.  We stretched out across the black asphalt of the road, staring up at the dark clouds above us.  Why couldn't it just RAIN?  I sure hoped it would, but I couldn't help but think it was impossible.  It wasn't going to rain. 

And then it did. 

At first, one heavy drop darkened my denim shorts and another splashed Rebekah's thumb. 

We immediately leapt to our feet and embraced, shrieking at the top of our lungs.  "Rain!  Rain!  Thank You, Jesus!  RAIN!"  (I'm not exaggerating.)  You know you're in a drought when three or four sprinkles give reason for celebration.

The sprinkles didn't last for more than ten seconds before the actual downpour came.  The rain fell in buckets, drenching us completely before we could say more than a few words.  We danced and skipped and sang, twirling around and around and rejoicing in the pure beauty of the WATER that was coming from the SKY.  Can you believe it?  Rain.

The walk home was long, but I would have never wanted it any other way.  Twice we were asked by passing cars if we wanted a ride, but we declined.  Why sit in a car when you could dance in the rain?  It's not like we could get any wetter.  We ran barefoot through puddles (Can you believe it? Puddles!) and caught raindrops on our tongues.

At one point, Rebekah screamed out above the clamor of the rain, "Thank you so much, Jesus!" and almost immediately, the loudest clap of thunder we had heard so far echoed through the canyon.  We laughed and hugged each other, wondering if the Lord was saying, "You're welcome!" 

It was one of the most beautiful nights of my life.

After about half a mile, as Rebekah danced ahead, I stood still and reached up towards the sky, closing my eyes as the rain poured down my face.  For the first time all day and perhaps even all week, I felt like God was near.  I felt Him hold me.

Hours before, I had written something for my blog, talking about how I had faith that it would rain one day.  That I knew God would send us rain.  And then it rained for the first time in months.  During a time where I felt distant from God, He sent rain.  He didn't just send rain on the earth.  He sent rain on my heart that night too.

It was such a beautiful moment.  It was like the Lord was giving me a huge hug and saying, "Emily, don't you see?  I never left.  Please let me hold you."

Days later, I still feel so grateful, so amazed that He gave me exactly what I needed.  The rain was such a gift to our thirsty city and to my thirsty heart. 

Thank You.

B: Best Friend

If you've looked through my blog at all, then you know my best friend, Ali.  We met in fifth grade, where she was the first friend I made at my new school.  We kept up out friendship through middle school, but it wasn't until our sophomore year of high school that we became best friends.  My senior year of high school, I got the opportunity for Ali to come live in my home and it was a blast.

You know, friendship is taken to a whole new level when you actually live together.  Yes, Ali and I are still best friends, but it seems more like we're sisters now.  And I'm so glad. :)

Since I've talked about Ali so much on my blog, I thought I'd simply share a photograph of my FIRST best friend.  This is one of my favorite childhood pictures because it makes me laugh and say, "Awwww!" at the same time.  This isn't very good quality because I actually took a picture of the picture, but you get the idea.  It's just so perfect.

We look so grown-up and so little at the same time.  We were probably three or four here.  I love our fancy dresses and bows.  I love how we look as if we're having an adult conversation, but the teddy bear I'm holding in my hand gives away our childhood even more. 

I just love this photo.

A: Animals... do you have any pets?

When I was younger, I practically owned a zoo.  Fish, tadpoles, box turtles, red slider turtles, alligator snapping turtles, hermit crabs, salamanders, geckos, rabbits, mice, gerbils, hamsters, rats, and even a couple of birds.  I was obsessed with animals and even became a vegetarian for almost a year, which is a long time for a little kid.

When it comes to bigger pets, my family has had a long line of cats and a slightly shorter line of dogs.  I'll just share the names since I don't want to bore you with tons of pictures and descriptions.

Cats: Annie (deceased of old age), Figaro (deceased of old age), Waldo (disappeared, ironically), Lucky (deceased in a tragic accident, ironically), Max Ollie (deceased), Turtle (ran off, ironically), and Oreo.

Dogs: Norman (gave him away when we moved to a new city), Mollie (gave away to a teenage boy because she was too active), Buddy, Boo, Coco (gave away to a family with no other dogs), and Jack.

As I've grown older, I don't have that same passion for animals I once had.  I like them, sure, but I don't want to own very many.  I just don't have that same love for animals as I did when I was younger.  That love has transferred over to people as I've grown older.

I still have a few pets right now.  They love me and I love them... well, most of them.  Let me introduce you.

Oreo
Oreo would be the least favorite of all my pets.  We've had him since around May, 2006.  We rescued him from a kill shelter with his two brothers, Max Ollie and Turtle.  Oreo's favorite activity is rolling in the dirt.  His fur often becomes a dingy brown after a single afternoon.  You couldn't even recognize his individual colors at times.

Oreo doesn't have a mean bone in his body, which I like.  He lives outside and in our barn, but he thinks he's supposed to live in the house with the family.  He loves to try and sneak into our house without us noticing.  We've often found him curled up in one of our arm chairs, fast asleep.

Buddy
Buddy is our oldest dog at about ten and a half.  He's a Bichon Frise.  You'd never guess his age by the way he acts.  He enjoys sprinting in circles around the living room, doing what we call the "Bichon Buzz."  He is a bit dim-witted, so he doesn't know many tricks, but he can sit and lie down for about two seconds at a time.  That's pretty much the only things he can do.

Buddy isn't very loyal, probably because of his dumbness, but he loves everybody and has never snapped at anyone in his life.  I adore his sweet personality.

Boo
Boo is eight years old.  She's a Boston Terrier and very clever.  She's extremely loyal to both our family and our pets.  When Buddy finally dies from old age, Boo will probably pine for a long time.  She loves to cuddle.  When I'm watching TV, Boo will often jump on the couch and attempt to curl up on my chest, burying her face in my neck. 

Boo has a hilarious personality.  She has many phobias, including but not limited to vacuum cleaners, water bottles, new things, big dogs, black toys... that's right.  Boo and Buddy both will not play with any toy that isn't white.  Racist, are they?  Very possibly. 

I've been able to teach Boo a few tricks: sit, lay down, shake, beg, crawl, dance, and roll over.  She hasn't learned much more than that, but if we'd attempted to teach her more early on in her life, she probably would have gotten the hang of them quickly.  She's a bit slower now.  Boo is the alpha of our three dogs, but she still has an incredibly sweet personality.

Jack
Jack is the newest addition to our family.  He's a Miniature Yorkshire Terrier at about three and a half pounds now.  He was born on August 9, 2010, which makes him about a year old.  Jack probably has the biggest personality of any dog I've ever seen in my life.  He's curious and smart. 

Jack is a problem solver.  He's too small to jump up on Mom and Dad's bed, so he's figured out another way.  He jumps from the treadmill to the nightstand to the bed.  In a few months, Jack has managed to learn many tricks, including: sit, lay down, stay, shake, crawl, dance, roll over, play dead, stick'em up, and circle.

I enjoy dressing Jack up in cute sweaters and playing fetch with him while I watch TV.  His favorite toys are these colorful squeaky balls we get from Petco.  He loves anything that squeaks.  Jack will play with just about anything, however.  I'll often find him with toilet paper rolls, sticks, and even silly things like sheets of paper.  He likes to sneak away my pencils and other belongings and hide them around the house.

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So those are my pets.  I've probably thoroughly bored you now, but I enjoy bragging about my darlings.  If you actually read through this entire entry, I'm impressed.

Here are today's questions.

1.) Do you have any pets?
2.) Are you an animal lover or do you prefer a select few, like me? 
 

Some of you may remember Rebekah from the prank wars.  Whenever she comes over, we love taking pictures and being silly.  Today's mission was to look like we were flying or levitating.  We weren't quite as good as the girl from this blog. 

"THE PROPOSAL"

"THE WARRIOR"

"PETER PAN"

"MARY POPPINS"

And despite the fact that it was a record-breaking 109 degrees outside, we thought we'd go ahead and take some head shots.  The sun was setting, it was burning hot outside, and it was also incredibly windy, but we still managed to take some decent pictures.

Rebekah is incredibly photogenic, so I love taking pictures of her. 

And I'm not as photogenic...

...so I tend to give up more easily.

And then I'll decide to try to take a picture again...

...but I can't seem to sit still for long.

I love these kinds of days. (:

Since January of this year, my city has received less than an inch of rain.  The all-time low for my city is eight inches of rain in a year, but for us to even get that, it'll have to rain seven and a half inches in five months.  Highly unlikely.  I've never seen a drought like this before.  The grass isn't yellow like it usually is.  If the wind hasn't blown it away, it's brown, shriveled, and dead.

The other day, my friend and I were having a Lion King movie marathon.  There is one scene where Simba returns to the pride lands for the first time in years.  He is stunned to see a dry and dead land.  Grass crumbles beneath his feet.  Do you remember?  That is my city.

My family's well is going dry.  Our water is now an orange-brown color, cloudy and filled with sand.  We can't drink it anymore.  We'd rather not wash in it.  We can no longer water what is left of our lawn.  The heat has reached record temperatures.  There have been several fires recently.  Homes have burned down.  My grandma's old farmhouse burned down a few days ago.  A month or two ago, I jokingly said, "Where's a prophet when you need one?"  It hasn't rained in what seems like forever.

Obviously, we cannot have fireworks on the 4th of July.  There will still be a celebration.  I'll get together with friends and we'll try to make the most of Independence Day, focusing on the meaning of the holiday over the excitement of firework displays.

July 4th has been my favorite holiday for as long as I can remember.  I love the cookouts, the family get-togethers, the warmth of the summer nights, the fireworks.  I live outside of the city limits, so friends and family gather at my place to shoot fireworks and light up the sky with vibrant colors.  I love the smells and twinges of excitement and the taste of homemade ice cream.  I LOVE the 4th of July.

It won't be the same this year.

No fireworks.  No sparklers.  Not even the city will have its huge annual display that we watch along the horizon from our back porch.  It won't be the same.

Honestly, this summer has been an emotional struggle for me.  I'm working a lot of hours at a job that isn't for me.  My friends are also working and taking summer courses, so we don't get together often.  My family is running out of water.  My favorite holiday has been turned into a common cookout.  I'm packing up my bedroom to MOVE AWAY from everyone I know and love within six weeks from now.

I'll admit I'm having a harder time than I thought I would be.  I feel like the ground outside right now.  Windswept, parched, and aching for nourishment.

Sometimes the Lord feels so distant.

When I see those around me do amazing things in His Name and I return to my job at a frozen yogurt shop, when I write yet another post for my blog and don't FEEL my words, when I go to bed early because I'm just so TIRED, I feel confused.  Lonely.  Thirsty.

Psalm 77:19 says, "Your path led through the sea, Your way through the mighty waters, though Your footprints were not seen."

I'll admit it.  It's been harder to feel God this summer than it usually is.  And maybe it's entirely my fault.  I can't help but compare my emotional and spiritual weariness and thirst to the land around me.  To the parched ground in my backyard.  To my empty well.  To the state of my city.

We need rain.  It may be our driest year yet, but it WILL rain.  Rain will come and nourish the ground one day.  It will bring color into the grass and water into our wells.  This may not happen for a while, but it will come.  God will never abandon us.  And even when I'm going through a dry spell like I have this summer, I have faith that God will not leave me.  He is still here, even when His footprints are not seen.

If you're reading my blog and I sound insincere or weary, I'm sorry.  It's probably because I AM.  But I have faith that I will get through this with His help.  I'm in a drought, but He will bring rain.

He will never leave me.