Dear Gatlin,

I wouldn't believe it if I didn't have a calendar sitting right in front of my face.  It's been exactly three years since you died.  1,096 days. 

There are so many things I wish I could tell you.  I wish I could show you how much your little sisters have grown.  I'd show you the videos I finally had the courage to put up on YouTube of me singing and playing the guitar.  You always knew I could do it.  I wish I could play you the songs I wrote about you.  For you.  I'd show you the guy who actually made president in 2008, just so I could hear you rant and rave about how awful our government has become.  I wish I could talk about a boy, just so you'd get mad.  I'd play for you on my new guitar that you never got to hear.  We were still trying to think of names for it when you went away.  I'd send you my favorite rap song and laugh when you sent me five "real" songs in response.  I'd probably yell at you.  'Cause sometimes I still feel angry, you know.  I'd probably cry.  No, I know I would. 

I've stopped blaming myself.  You'd probably be glad about that.  There are still some days when I think, "If I only would have..."  But then I have to remember.  You were the one to make the decision to end your own life, Gatlin.  That was you.  Not me.  How can I honestly blame myself if I would have stopped you had I known?  That's irrational.  It's just hard to be rational sometimes, you know? 

To be honest with you, I still don't understand why you took your own life.  You had a bright future ahead of you.  You had one of the coolest families ever.  You had friends who adored you.  It was a selfish decision.  You hurt people you loved.  You promised never to hurt me, Gatlin, but you've hurt me more than anyone else has so far.  Some days, when I think of you, I feel a lot of anger.  I wonder how anyone who said he loved us so much would turn around and do something this cruel.  I wasn't the same for months after you died.  You know that? 

I don't like to be angry at you, though.  What's the point in that?  Why be angry at someone who's already gone?  I try to think about the good memories instead.  There are lots of those, hidden beneath the painful memories of your funeral and the emotions I felt the night I learned that you died.

The good memories, when I think about them, still make me smile.  I remember when you started capitalizing "you" every time you talked to me online. "Emily, You are worth more than You think You are, so I'll capitalize 'you' to remind You until You get it.  Okay?"  I felt so special when you did that.  We stayed up all night talking sometimes.  When I cried to you over the phone one time, you answered immediately, "Who do I need to beat up today?"  I told you I'd always wanted a big brother and you immediately volunteered, even though you were a month younger than I was.  I like to think about those memories, Gatlin.  Not the bad ones, because I know we had those too.

It's comforting to me that you were a Christian.  I know you're in heaven.  Are you sorry for cutting your life short?  You would have been an incredible musician.  You were the best guitarist I knew already.  You left me amazed when I saw your YouTube videos.  I'm so grateful for a God who forgives us even when we screw up bad, aren't you? 

A few years before you went away, you told me that if you died, everyone would forget about you after three months.  It's been three years now.  Three years today.  I doubt anyone has forgotten you.  I haven't, and I wasn't even your best friend.  You're not forgotten, Gatlin.  You're remembered.

I feel sad when I think of the way you died.  Of how young you were, of how young I was.  Fifteen is too young to experience death.  Now I'm eighteen -and you would be too- and I'm growing up, slowly but surely.  When I think about our friendship, I'll admit it: We seem young in my mind now.  But I still treasure those memories and I treasure the friendship I had with you.  You were a good friend.  I'll never forget you, not in three years and not in thirty years.  You'll always hold a place in my heart as the boy who offered to play the role of my big brother once upon a time.

This letter was more difficult for me to write than I thought it would be.  I wish you could read my words.  I've never been to heaven, so I don't know if you can or not.  I guess I can tell you all of these things when I get there myself, whenever that will be.

I still miss you.  I wish you had not chosen to commit suicide like you did, Gatlin.  You broke my heart for a long time... I can't even imagine what your death did to your family.  However, time goes on.  Just like I know you would have wanted, I'm moving on.  I'll never forget you, but I'm okay now.  Jesus has been my rock through the hard times your death has inflicted on my life. The Lord has put amazing friends in my life, and I know they won't make the same decision you did.  I just wanted to let you know that.  I'll be okay.

I wish you were still alive, but I'm thankful in a way for the perseverance I've gained through facing these trials.  I've learned to give my pain to God.  I've grown and matured because of the struggles I faced after your death.  I do not thank you for hurting me and those around you, but I do thank you for making me a stronger person.  I do thank you for helping me grow closer to God, when at times, I've strayed so far away from him.  And I do thank you for being my friend those three years before your death.  You were my first real "guy friend."

Even though I cry sometimes (like now!), I'm still a happy person.  I'm going to live my life to the fullest.  I'll remember you with a smile, not with sadness and tears.

Thanks for being in my life while you were.  Lylab.

-Emily


---

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-8255

Gatlin's YouTube Channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/gibsonlovergatlin

 

Instead of a book review today, I decided to post something that has bothered me for a while now.

I want people to like me.

That's just the truth.  I want to be liked. 

Do I usually rebel against conformity?  Sure.  I often don't dress like everyone else on purpose.  I am quiet when others are loud.  I listen to my own style of music.  I value originality.  Even though I like to be unique, I desperately want to be liked.  If I'm not liked by someone, I'm bothered.  A lot.

Sometimes my struggle to be liked can be my downfall of sorts.  I often try to please everyone and end up ignoring my own needs.  Sometimes I focus on pleasing others instead of God.  Trying so hard to be liked can end up making me doubt myself as well.  I'm generally a confident person.  However, if someone dislikes me, I can quickly shut down and doubt myself. 

I'll make up an example off the top of my head.  Let's say I'm trying to reach out to some younger girls and I overhear someone say, "Emily acts so fake.  I can't believe she's pretending to like us."  I might immediately question my actions and words, asking myself and my close friends if that's how I appear.  If I feel disliked enough, I might even throw up my hands and walk away.  I think to myself, "It's not worth it.  I'm obviously bad at this.  Bah.  I give up.  Find someone else to minister to these girls, God.  I don't want to do this anymore." 

Giving up is never a part of God's plan.  When I give up, I fail. 

I hate the feeling of failure.  Don't you?

The other day, I overheard some girls at school talking about me behind my back.  I haven't been through an experience like that since eighth grade!  To be honest, their words weren't that mean.  They were mocking a leadership role I've taken at school and the way I spoke to a group of kids.  It was obvious by what they were saying that they didn't like me all that much.  At first, I wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear.  A thousand horrified thoughts flew through my head all at once.  "They don't like me.  I've failed.  I've ruined this leadership role.  I've failed at being liked at school.  I'm such a failure.  How can God even use me at all?"  For a split second, I wanted to forget being any kind of a leader, withdraw into my shy shell, and not talk to anyone ever again.  I mean, they didn't like me.  After a few moments of self-pity, I realized how silly I was acting.

Is my life defined by what those girls think of me?  Am I not a leader anymore because of the things those girls were saying?  Does God not still love me?  Has the purpose He gave me at my school been turned into nothing?  Of course not. 

People are going to dislike me sometimes because of who I am and Who I stand for, and I'm going to have to learn to deal with that, as hard as it can be.  Jesus had haters.  People murdered Him and gambled away His clothes, for crying out loud.  His disciples were all persecuted and most were even killed. 

Even though it might sting to face meanness and dislike from others, I cannot allow my hurt feelings to get in the way of what God has planned for my life.  He wants me to be a leader at my school, whether or not some kids make fun of me behind my back.  He wants me to stand up and make friends with people I don't know, even if I'll face rejection sometimes. 

God's opinion is what matters in the long run.  I just need to please Him.  Everyone else is secondary.

I've given up many times after facing dislike from others.  I've failed.  I've let down the God who gave me life.  I don't want to give up anymore.  I don't want to care so much about what other people think of me that I'll give up on plans God has for me in order to keep everyone happy.  That isn't what He wants.  I'm so thankful that God loves me enough to give me an unlimited number of second chances. 

I want people to like me.  That will never change.  If I had my way, then everyone would like each other, even though I know that's unrealistic.  I'll continue to be nice to people and smile (I am Emily is Smiling, after all).  However, I know I will not always be liked.  I don't deserve to be liked by everyone, if I'm honest with myself. 

For now, I guess I'm satisfied with the fact that Jesus Christ likes me so much, He thinks I'm to die for.




 

This picture was taken by me last January.  It's completely unedited, and there are many aspects about this photograph that I love.

The first thing you probably notice is my ten-year-old bichon frise, Buddy, standing waist deep in the snow, looking off into the distance.  He's white, like the snow, so he matches the photo in a very fitting way, I think.  I love how you can see the wind blowing about his little ears and tail.  You can tell by the way Buddy is standing that he really, really wants to go out there and play in the snow with my little brother, but the ferocity of the blizzard is just too intimidating, so he is settling to watch from afar.

The next thing you probably notice is my brother.  His name is Luke and he was ten at the time this photo was taken.  (He is now eleven.)  Despite the fact that it was snowing very, very heavily outside, he couldn't help but go play in the giant snow drifts that were piling up.  He couldn't bear to play for more than ten minutes at a time- it was just too cold- but he played as long as he could, bundled up until he was a chubby silhouette amongst the snow.

I love the contrast that the dark green barn and the spindly tree branches make with the otherwise white background.  That poor tree was frozen solid.  Those bushes as well... they were weighted down with the heavy snow.  That poor bush towards the middle is almost completely covered. 

The snow actually looks pretty (I hate snow, in case you were wondering) in this picture.  It's piled on the porch in pretty drifts.  I like the way you can see Buddy's shuffling footprints through my front yard.  I like how the snow is falling in clouds against the barn. 

Yes, yes, I know this picture isn't a professional's shot by far.  I don't even know why I took it.  To be honest, I'm not sure why like it as much as I do.  It's no artistic photograph.  I just like it.  It holds memories.  It snapped Buddy's wistful longing to play with my brother in an eternal shot.  I just... like this. 

Do you like snow or are you not a fan, like me?  
 

Let's do this Facebook style.  Here are twenty-five random facts that you may or may not need to know about me.  See if we have anything in common... and do this yourself.  What are twenty-five things about YOU?

1.  I am always freezing.  Even in summer, I can be found wearing a jacket.  My hands are always cold to the touch as well. 

2.  My friends call me a picture hoarder because I love to take pictures and I keep them like they're treasures, every one of them.  I have tens of thousands of pictures on my computer and many also hang from my walls, rest on my desk and cabinets, and decorate my homemade calendars.

3.  I'm in love with Elvis Presley.  Seriously, if he was still alive, I would probably be a rabid fan girl, as much as I despise that idea.  He's just amazing.

4.  I'm not a fan of winter.  Or snow.  Or anything cold.  I'm cold-natured, so sunshiney days are what make me happy and keep me warm.  I do love rain though.

5.  I'm directionally challenged to the extreme.  I've been driving for more than two years, but I still have trouble finding my friends' houses.  I use a GPS.  For everything.  After two years of going to the same places every single day.  Yes, it's pathetic.  No, I can't fix it.  I'm stuck like this.

6.  I type insanely fast.  The highest score I've ever gotten on a typing test was a 138 my freshman year of high school.  I took one the other day and got a 124.  Not my highest ever, but still pretty high.

7.  I'm fascinated with accents and different languages and cultures.  I could sit at the feet of a world traveler and listen to his stories all day long.  I've actually been to eleven different countries, so I tend to be the storyteller most of the time.
 
8.  I am the absolute worst at keeping in touch with people.  If you want to hang out with me, you generally need to make the first contact.  It's not that I don't care.  It's just part of my personality, I suppose.  I am very much a sole-focus kind of person, and I tend to think about one thing at a time.  I'm also the kind of person who can easily re-connect with a long distance friend, even after a year or two.

9.  I don't have much of a sweet tooth.  I prefer salty foods.

10.  I have one thing I'll usually eat at certain restaurants.  I never vary in my meal choices.  In fact, I'd rather not eat than order something new off the menu.  I'm quite picky.

11.  My nails are usually painted black.  Some people think it's my inner rebellion showing through, but really... I just love the color black.  Not in a depressed way... I just think it's pretty.  Honest.  Anything with a black and white design, I love.  You should see my bedroom.  Black and white all the way.

12.  I'm not a big animal lover.  I used to be when I was little, but now I'm not.  I don't know if I'll ever have a pet when I'm older, although I could see myself with one small dog like my Yorkie puppy, Jack, who I love with all of my heart.  He's the exception to my "no animals" rule.

13.  I love to play my own music on the guitar and piano, although I'm not that good at either one.  I'm just decent enough to get by on.  I like to sing while I play, so I prefer to stick with easy things like chords. 

14.  I have the most amazing friends in the entire world.  (Okay, okay, this can be time for a collective "awwwwwwwww."  Are we done?  Good.  Let's move on.)

15.  I go through snack phases, meaning I eat a certain snack after school every single day until I burn out.  It's part of my OCD, I suppose.  Since the beginning of high school, it has been, in order: apples, popcorn, cereal, sour patch kids, ritz peanut butter mini-crackers, fruit of some sort, baked lays, and now turkey and swiss cheese.  Not on bread, just plain.  I know.  I go through weird cravings. 
 
16.  I stay up until ungodly hours of the night, pacing and reading and singing and writing and playing the guitar and staring at the ceiling.  It's called insomnia, and I have it bad.

17.  Sometimes I just really, really want to do something crazy and change the world.

18.  I lost my purity ring being chased in the park by one of my guy friends.  He was carrying a huge bucket of water after dragging me through a creek.  For some reason, I didn't want to get more wet than I already was, if that was even possible.  I ran away.  The ring slipped into a patch of tall, shiny grass.  We never saw it again.  But it's a joke of mine that I lost my purity ring being chased by a boy. :)

19.  I write constantly.  It's like I can't even help it. 

20.  I don't own a CD player.  I have two iPod players in my room and one in my car.  Not even my car contains a CD player.  It's all run by iPod.  I'm such a child of technology. 

21.  I'm completely awful at anything related to science or math.  Those two subjects completely frustrate and confuse me.  On the other hand, I'm very good at English.  It's my favorite.  I'm the kind of person who will read my government text book and mark the errors.  Sorry, that's just who I am.
 
22.  I pretend to be brave a lot, but I'm really a big scaredy cat.  I'm scared of heights, water, fast-moving things, vacuum cleaners, guns...  Sad thing is, the list could go on and on.  I try to conquer my fears, but there's still a lot of them left to defeat.

23.  My favorite holiday is 4th of July, not Christmas.  I suppose because I love everything about the 4th of July.  My family and friends all come over to my house to just spend time together and laugh and talk.  We sit outside in the warm summer heat and eat food off the grill.  We make yummy desserts and homemade ice cream.  We all share the cost of fireworks and spend half the night setting them off and then watching the firework displays in the city explode over the horizon, right beneath the stars.  It's the best holiday ever, in my book.

24.  I honestly dislike talking on the phone a lot.  I don't use my cell phone that much, and when I do, I prefer to text- not call.  I usually only text when necessary, though.  I'm not very fast at it.  I don't know.  I just prefer face-to-face contact so much more nowadays.
 
25.  I've kept a journal since I was eight.  Pretty cool, right?  I love looking back on the old entries.  I've typed up about 3/4ths of them and I have about 100k words of journal entries.  This last year, my blog has stood as my journal a lot, although I still infrequently keep a journal in an actual notebook.

---

Whew, well... there's twenty-five facts about me.  That was actually a lot easier to write than I thought it would be.  Your turn.   
 

I took this photo a few weeks ago.  It's of my darling puppy Jack.  He's a miniature Yorkshire Terrier and was born on August 9th, I believe. 

When I took this picture, I was playing with Jack.  It was mid-afternoon and he was a little sleepy, so he'd flopped over on his back to play.  His fuzzy little legs stuck straight up in the air.  I would make a growling noise and hold my hands several inches over his head and then reach down and grab at Jack's tummy.  He would make little growling noises in return and nip at my fingers.  When I lifted my hands back into the air, he'd stick his legs straight up and bare his tiny teeth, waiting for me to attack again. 

It was a fun afternoon.  I love spending time with Jack.  He's such a ham. 

What I love about this picture is how much it looks like Jack is smiling.  I think he was enjoying himself as much as I was.

In today's comments, I'd love to see pictures of your smiling dog, puppy or not.
 

Happy Thanksgiving.  I feel... thankful today.  More so, perhaps, than I have in previous years.  Notice the giant image to your left.  Read every word.  It touched me.

As a senior in high school this year, my life has come to a turning point.  I'm about to leave home in a few months and embark on a journey of my own.  My decisions from this point forward will make a huge, huge difference in my life.  When I was younger, if I messed up, it was okay.  My parents took care of everything.  I'll be on my own now, and the decisions I'll be making will be life decisions and not only little ones. 

I'm so blessed to have what I have.  I've been given so many important things in my life, I could not even list them all if I tried.  I have...

A family that loves and supports me.  Not even all of my friends have parents who actually care where they are right now or what they're doing for Thanksgiving.  My parents love me and let me know of their affections for me every single day.  They support me in the decisions I make.  They're going to miss me when I leave home.  They'll make the effort to see me as often as they can.  My little brother is adorable, not annoying.  My little sister has a huge heart.  I have grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins who actually strive to spend time together.  No one could have a better family than me.

An education.  I'm graduating from a private school.  I'll be going to a great university.  I'm going to become whatever I want to be in life.  I've been given so many opportunities.

Three meals a day, plus snacks.  Seriously, I get all the food I need and more.  When my stomach starts to grumble in between lunch and dinner, I can easily walk downstairs, open the pantry, and find myself one of thirty different snacks.  How many people in the world have that opportunity? 

Clothes.  I have a lot of clothes.  I have a lot of shoes.  My parents have allowed me to lead an amazing, blessed lifestyle that not many people can have.  I am so grateful for the fact that I can feel cool in the summer and warm in the winter and feel confident in myself and my style.

Friends.  I have the best friends in the world.  I'm not just saying that.  I truly do.  Don't believe me?  Ask them.  I've never seen any group of high school friends so devoted to each other, so loyal, so accountable, so devoted to growing in Christ, and so drama free.  We've made lifelong relationships.

My health.  I am generally a very healthy person.  I don't have disease or disability.  I am able to run and dance and spin in circles until I fall over in the grass.  God has given me my health and I am so grateful for that.  God has also given my family and friends their health as well, which is just as important to me.

A roof over my head.  I have never been homeless.  I have always had a place to live and feel warm and protected.  I even have my own room where I can express myself and gain my own independence.  I have a comfortable, warm bed to sleep in.  I have air condition for the summer and a heater for the winter.  I have closets and a bathroom and a kitchen downstairs.  I have so much.  

I am so thankful for everything that God has blessed me with during my short lifetime.  I can't even express how grateful I truly feel.  What amazes me is how little of this I've deserved. 

Thank you, Jesus.  So much.  I owe it all to You.

---

What are YOU grateful for?

 

Lavin is a beautiful little girl, as you can see in the available pictures of her on this page.  She's thirteen now.  I first began to sponsor her when she was ten years old.  Lavin lives in a small shack with her mom and uncle, who she calls her step-dad.  Lavin's dad died some years back.  Lavin absolutely adores singing and dancing.  She's very creative and intelligent.  Lavin is meek and quiet, but when she comes out of her shell, nothing can stand in her way.  She's in the fourth grade.

During the summer of 2009, I was given the opportunity to travel to Kisumu, Kenya and meet Lavin in person.  In fact, I was able to spend an entire week at her school.  Lavin and I became friends over that week.  I was very sad to leave her, and even a year and a half later, I still think about Lavin every day and write her frequent letters.

When in Africa, I was given the opportunity to see just how much I blessed Lavin's life through my sponsorship.  I first began to sponsor Lavin when I was fifteen years old and a freshman in high school.  I sacrificed money that came out of my allowance, but I felt that it was worth it.  After visiting Kenya, Africa, I saw how "worth it" my small sacrifice truly was.

After I sponsored Lavin, she was allowed to attend school and receive a real education.  My sponsorship will last through vocational school or a university, so Lavin can become whoever she wants to be.  Lavin is given clothes, a school uniform, and good school shoes.  Lavin is taught spiritually.  She has asked Jesus into her heart.  She has memorized Bible verses for school.  She attends church each Sunday.  She receives three meals a day, which is much more than she would have gotten without a sponsor.  If she becomes sick, Lavin is given treatment at an on-campus clinic.  Lavin receives letters from someone who lives across the world -me- and knows now that she is loved and cherished. 

I was blessed after meeting Lavin as well.  Her obvious joy that came from the Lord, her maturity, and her sweet, crooked smile changed the way I viewed my own life.  You can read my journal from when I spent two weeks in Africa here, on my website.

I very recently received a card in the mail from Lavin. I love it.  My little girl is so creative and talented.  I loved to see her drawing of a mud hut, possibly based off of the one in which she lives.  The letter is precious.  I'll go ahead and let you read what it says.


I try to write Lavin letters as often as I can because I was able to see how much the letters actually meant to the sponsored children at Lavin's school.  When a child received a letter, she was literally mobbed by other students, who examined every word, photograph, and sticker sheet.  Children keep letters from their sponsor forever.  Most could quote facts about their sponsors and their sponsors' families... just from the letters.  Letters from people in America who care mean so much to these kids.  If you sponsor a child, please write him or her a letter at least twice a year.  It's so important to them.  I can't stress that enough.

I used to wonder as a sponsor if my money actually went anywhere or helped anyone, or if it merely lined the pockets of pompous, greedy executives.  I don't know about other humanitarian organizations, but I do know that Christian Relief Fund strives to truly help as many children as they possibly can.  I was able to witness multiple lives that were changed because of the ministry of CRF.  Without CRF, many children would be dead right now from starvation and disease, possibly even including Lavin. 

There were children dressed in ragged clothing standing at the gates of the school, waiting for scraps of food to be given to them for a meal.  They were the unsponsored children.  I turned to look at the sponsored children with their uniforms and big smiles, laughing, singing, and playing lighthearted games before returning to class.  What a difference my sponsorship made on Lavin's life.

If you do not sponsor a child, I strongly recommend you to consider the idea.  When you sponsor a child through Christian Relief Fund, you will receive progress reports, school report cards, personal letters and drawings from your child, and yearly photo updates.  You will be changing a child's life forever, physically, mentally, and spiritually.  When you receive letters and cards from your special child, you will feel touched and excited, eager to see how you have blessed someone's life.

There are so many children waiting for a sponsor right now, eager to have their lives changed.  You could be the one to change a life.  Perhaps God has that purpose for you.  Go to the Christian Relief Fund website here and click on the link that says "Sponsor a Child."  You can also sponsor a family or school.  If you simply do not have the funds to monthly sponsor a child, you can give a seasonal gift by clicking on this link.  There are all sorts of ways that you can give to change a family's life, such as a chicken, a mosquito net, a home in Haiti, and so much more.  

I wish I could return to Kenya, just like Lavin asked in her sweet letter.  I wish I could with all of my heart.  When I find the funds to allow me to return to Kisumu and embrace my little girl again, I will speak with her for ages, teach her brand new songs for Jesus, talk to her about her future, and encourage her as much as I possibly can. 

For a little girl who lives halfway around the world, for a little girl with whom I've only spent a week of my life, I sure love Lavin.  And if she is this precious to me, I can't even imagine how much Jesus Christ cherishes her and wishes her -and every single other child who lives in a third world country- the best life imaginable.

 

Today we broke the rules a little.  Ali and I were both busy with jobs, cleaning, and homework, so we stretched the rules and had a friend over instead.  We had dinner together.  It was delicious.  Hamburgers, chips, ice cream, and pumpkin bread.  My parents had some guests over as well and we spent much of the evening talking and laughing together.  I love having fellowship with other people and spending time with them.  I had a great time with my friend.  After dinner, we rented a movie and watched it together.  I know my friend felt special hanging out with me, and I definitely felt special hanging out with her!

Ali: When I spent time with my friend over dinner and a movie, we had tons of fun, and it makes me so happy because we can bond, all three of us and just, um, grow closer.  It's just so nice because throughout our days, we don't have much time to just sit down and talk or spend time with each other. 

What did you do with a friend today?

It was fairly easy to personally encourage someone today because it was my birthday.  I thanked a few different friends for their friendship.  They were so sweet to me today, surprising me over and over again.  This has been a great day.  Seeing the look of gratitude and excitement on my friends' faces when I encouraged them brought yet another smile to my face.  I love being encouraged as well, and my friends definitely encouraged me today.

Ali: Oh, goodness.  Well, I encouraged one of my friends before she took a quiz that she was going to do good.  Unfortunately, the quiz was really hard and so even though I really did believe that she was going to do good and really did mean the encouragement, the quiz did not turn out so good, but then the teacher changed the quiz.  So in the end, she didn't get the bad grade!

Me: How did she respond to your encouragement?

Ali: She was nervous, but grateful, I guess.

Me: Did it make you feel good to encourage her?

Ali: Well, I was hoping, you know, that by encouraging her, it would give her something, and then she'd be like, "Yeah, I can do this!" and then she'd do good, but... Well, she did try her hardest.  The quiz was just hard.

How did you encourage a friend today?

I enjoyed complimenting people today.  There's just something about a compliment that makes someone's face light up.  You can literally see a rising of confidence after you compliment someone.  I complimented clothes, hair, smarts at school... really, just whatever popped into my head.  It felt good making somebody else feel good.  I enjoyed the experience. 

Ali: Oh, goodness!  I was out selling poinsettias and pies for my senior trip to the neighbors.  I used this opportunity to give out compliments.  I commented on their houses, pets, the smell of their house on one occasion, and various things like that.  They were really nice and sweet people.  I think when you compliment someone, it makes them more prone to being friendly and nice to you.

Me: Were they sincere compliments or were you just trying to get through the challenge?

Ali: No, they really were sincere!  I liked their doggies, so I would compliment that.  They were really sincere.  I wasn't just trying to sell poinsettias!  Compliments or giving out compliments comes pretty easy to me because I just like giving out compliments. 

What did you do for today?

Today's kindness challenge was to write an encouraging note to a friend.  I chose to write a card and send it through the mail to the lady I got to know at the nursing home, Ms. Bea.  I enjoyed picking out the perfect card and filling it with encouragements and Bible verses.  I honestly hope I made her day.  I just wish I could be there when she receives the letter.

Elderly people in nursing homes love getting mail, we learned when we visited them.  Imagine the disappointment for those who don't have a family to visit them.  They never get mail.  So I hope to truly make Bea's day by allowing her to get an encouraging letter in the mail from someone who cares.

Me: Ali, who did you give your letter?

Ali: I'm going to send my letter to Goldie, the lady I met at the nursing home.  I'm super excited to hear of her reaction.  I can't wait to see her next time and talk to her about it.  Maybe it might become a routine.

Me: Do you think giving encouraging notes is important?

Ali: Oh yes.  Sometimes we don't realize the difference it can make in someone's day or week.  She loves getting mail... actually, that's the only thing she looks forward to every day, so I know it will brighten her day, and I'm excited.

I loooooooooove writing encouraging letters.

To whom did you write your letter?

Today, Ali and I broke the rules a little bit.  Instead of making a snack for someone, we only had time to buy a snack.  My grandma was feeling sick with a bad case of bronchitis, so Ali and I went to Walgreens to buy some cough drops and a huge bucket of peppermints.  If you've never had a pepper mint with a sore throat, try it.  An excellent remedy, in my opinion.

We left a little Post-It note inside the peppermint bucket, basically telling my Nawnie to feel better soon and that we loved her.  We dropped the gift off at her house.  I know our little "snack" completely and totally made my grandma's day.  She lives alone, and I know that being sick is a miserable feeling, especially when your throat hurts and you just can't stop coughing.  I enjoyed helping out my grandma and making her feel special.

What did you do for today's challenge?

I love old people.

For today's challenge, Ali and I hugged a few people at church and at a restaurant, but we decided to visit a nursing home and hug some lonely people.  We went to the nurse and asked her if she would point out some ladies who didn't get many visitors, so she guided Ali to a lady named Goldie and me to a lady named Bea.  Both ladies were adorable and super sweet.  I haven't had such a fun, relaxed afternoon in such a long time.

I had a great experience with Bea.  I brought my nine-week-old Yorkie, Jack, and she held him the entire time.  I loved that Bea told me stories.  She kept thanking me that I came and visited her in her room.  She was so, so, so sweet.  I definitely want to start visiting her more often.  I'd also like to send her a letter to let her know I haven't forgotten her. 

Nursing homes can be such sad places, basically where people drop off their elderly family members so they'll die out of sight.  These old people are adorable and wise and loving.  All they want is someone to talk to an for  someone to care about them.  And they deserve it.  I loved today.

Me: Ali, how was your time with Goldie?

Ali: Oh, it was absolutely wonderful.  It was probably the best way I've spent my time in a long time.  Not only do I know that I made her day, but it encouraged me.  Today was definitely not a day wasted. 

Me: Any specific stories?

Ali: There are quite a few.  Let's see.  She kept asking me where I wanted to go to college, and I kept telling her A&M- if it accepts me- and then she would go on and on about how in today's world you need to go to college and have a college education, and she would just encourage me so much about college and life.

Me: Does this make you want to visit Goldie again?

Ali: Oh, it makes me want to go tomorrow! 

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We plan to make our Sunday afternoon nursing home trips a tradition from now on, as often as possible.  That's how much we enjoyed ourselves today.
 

I spent most of the day cleaning out my closet and drawers.  I ended up gathering three bags of clothes to donate to a shelter.  Around seven o'clock in the evening, I picked up Ali from work and we went to a homeless shelter in my city called Faith City Ministries.  This homeless shelter has a drop off place where you can leave clothes and food and things like that.  They'll use it to help the poor people in my city.

It was a great feeling to donate so many clothes to the homeless and needy.  I love the good feeling that swells up in your chest.  I also felt incredibly blessed as I drove through the poor neighborhoods and saw several homeless people wandering around.  I have so many things.  Even the three bags of clothes that I gave away were more than most of those people had to their name, and those were my discard clothes!  God has blessed me with so much. 

Me: Ali, what did you learn from donating clothes today?

Ali: It's just reminded me and Emily about how blessed we are, and just throughout the day, remember to thank God for everything you have.

Today, I wrote 1 Peter 5:7 on a note card, along with a little encouraging note and waited.  Ali has her SAT test tomorrow, so I thought the anxiety that is common with those sorts of tests was a perfect excuse to give an encouraging Bible verse.  I was going to leave a verse on a car windshield, but encouraging my friend was more important.

After Ali was asleep, I sneaked downstairs and put the encouraging note right on the doorstep.  Soooooo I hope she finds it.  We'll see!  :)

Ali had to work until late last night, so she'll be fulfilling today's challenge tomorrow.

To be honest, I didn't think that anyone but me would participate in today's challenge since it involved sacrificing money, which is a valuable resource for teens like me, perhaps even more valuable than kindness at times.  However, most of my friends did end up donating five dollars to a charity, which totally made my day. 

I donated my five dollars to a mosquito net fund I started after I returned home from Kenya, Africa.  Another friend of mine donated five dollars to that fund as well, so together, we gave enough money to purchase a mosquito net for someone in Africa.  Exciting! 

Some people donated to our school's Invisible Children Schools for Schools fund.  I loved seeing my peers step up and sacrifice their own money to help somebody else.  It brings a smile to my face. :)

What charity did you give your $5 to?

I loved today's challenge.  I made my encouraging note during Study Hall while I was at school.  It wasn't super creative- I'm not very good at art, art- but I enjoyed thinking of something encouraging to say.  You can see my note below.
I put my note right beside our bathroom mirror at my high school so that the girls could read it when they looked in the mirror and possibly felt bad about themselves.  I like encouraging people.  It makes me feel good too, to be honest.

Me: Ali, what did you do today?

Ali: I wrote an encouraging note for a younger girl that I know, and I just, I hope that she likes it- I don't know yet!  But, you know, I always love receiving encouraging notes, so it always hopes me and I hope it kinda helps her, and it at least brings a smile to her!

Today's challenge has been one of the most fun so far, in my opinion.

I was going to go to the bank and exchange a dollar for a hundred pennies, but I simply did not have the time today.  Perhaps I'll do something similar later on in the month.  Today I went ahead and got a dollar bill (the last one I had, actually... lucky me!).  I wrote a little message on the bill that said "Have a great day!"  (Man, I hope that's not illegal.  Ali said it wasn't, so I believe her.) 

I looked all around my school for the perfect, obvious place to set a dollar bill for someone to find.  I finally chose a bench that sits right in front of the school.  It has little round holes all across the top, perfect places for someone to stuff a rolled-up dollar bill.  Best yet, those benches are where kids sit when they're waiting for their parents to pick them up.  Many times, the parents are late.  I often see these kids looking down and bored and world-wearied, ready to go home and get away from the hectic school environment.  What a great way to make one of these kids' days, by letting them find a dollar bill with a friendly message written across the front. 

I only wish I could have stuck around to watch someone come across the dollar bill.  I wish I could have seen the look on whoever's face that found the dollar.

Another fun aspect to the day.  I'm not the only one at school participating in the 30 Days of Kindness challenge, so a few dollar bills were left around the school.  At one point in the day, a boy ran into the high school building, shouting, "I found a dollar!  I found a dollar!  Yay!"  What a confirmation that we made someone's day better!

Stay tuned for Ali's story a little later in the day.

I actually completed Day 4's challenge on Day 5 because I stayed home sick, and I couldn't very well go around hugging strangers when I was contagious.  Probably not the kindest gesture to give.  Coincidentally, Ali was sick too!  So we both decided to complete two challenges on Day 5 instead of risking getting anybody else sick.  Best friends share everything, including colds, right? :)

I had in mind not to hug a complete stranger today.  Instead, I wanted to hug some underclassmen that I didn't know very well. Hugs make everyone's day brighter, and I really need to branch out and meet some of the younger kids in my high school.   However, I was faced with a problem.  My school has recently come up with a rule that nobody is allowed to hug anymore.  I'm not even joking.  So hugging a student during school hours would be breaking a school rule and disobeying authority.  My next plan was to go to a nursing home and hug random people, but my heart was set on hugging underclassmen. 

Luckily, today was a National Honor Society meeting at lunch- and I don't think lunch counts as school hours- so I managed to hug some girls there.  It was fun to hug them, and not like I felt obligated to hug those girls because of the challenge.  I love hugging.

Hugging is very important.  Check out this cute quote:

"Hugging is healthy: it helps the body's immun[e] system, it keeps you healthier, it cures depression, it reduces stress, it induces sleep, it's invigorating, it's rejuvenating, it has no unpleasant side effects, and hugging is nothing less than a miracle drug.  Hugging is all natural: it is organic, naturally sweet, it has no pesticides, no preservatives, no artificial ingredients, and it is 100% wholesome.  Hugging is practically perfect: there are no movable parts, no batteries to replace, no periodic check-ups, has low energy consumption, high energy yield, is inflation-proof, non-fattening, has no monthly payments, no insurance requirements, is theft-proof, non-taxable, non-polluting, and is, of course, fully refundable." - Sharon Lindsey

Me: Ali, did you hug anyone today?

Ali: I went up to a girl and said hi to her, and I hugged her.  She wasn't a complete stranger, but she was definitely a girl I'd never talked to.  She looked at me and smiled and said hi back.

Me: Did you learn anything from hugging people you didn't know very well?

Ali: I think it was encouraging to me and it was also encouraging to her.  It was encouraging to me because, like, because I like giving hugs.  And it was encouraging to her- I think- because, I mean, receiving hugs is nice, and when people hug you, it just makes you feel special.

Did you have fun hugging people?  Did you hug a complete stranger or someone you didn't know very well?

Today's challenge was pretty simple, as it was a Sunday and Ali and I were at church.  We both were able to compliment people before the service even started!  I liked this challenge because it encouraged us to go out of our loop of church friends and greet somebody new.

I complimented a lady's necklace.  It made my day to see the look of gratitude come over her face when I let her know that I acknowledged how cute she looked and how I knew she had worked hard on her appearance for church.  I love the visible rise in self-confidence that comes over someone when you compliment their appearance.  I love to be complimented- it makes me feel good- so I know that other ladies like to be complimented as well.

Me: Ali, what happened with you today?

Ali: We went to church and we were getting coffee, and the lady behind us had a cute dress on, and I had never met her.  So I turned around I said hi... with a smile!  I complimented her dress, which was way cute.  She looked grateful that I complimented her dress, and I think it made her feel good.  It makes me feel good when people compliment me.

Me: And what did you learn from this experience?

Ali: I learned that you can make someone smile by complimenting them.  Everyone likes to feel good about something they do or wear, so I will try to compliment more people more often.

What did you learn today?  Do you have any fun stories?  Be sure to check out my YouTube channel to see more personalized stories of each day's experiences.