There are so many things I love about this picture.  It wasn't taken with a fancy camera.  It wasn't even taken by me.  It was taken by my dad with his iPhone.  But oh... I just love this.  Don't you?

I love the tangle of legs in this picture.  You can't quite tell whose legs belong to whom.  My poor mom is at the very bottom of the human dog pile, looking quite small.  My little sister is the one with the sling on her arm.  I'm the one holding the dog.

The chair belongs to my dad.  It sits in his office, wonderfully comfortable and beckoning for anyone to sit in it. 

I like how my dog, Boo, is in the picture as well.  As if this poor, stuffed chair could get anymore full, we had to add a dog in the mix.  I believe she jumped up into the chair of her own free will.  Boo can't stand to be left out of a cuddle session.

Do you think anyone else could have fit into the chair?

I have an amazing family.  Every time I see this picture, I laugh, smile, and whisper a quick thank you to God for giving me the family that I have.

Happy New Years! 

2011 is going to be a pivotal year in my life.  I'll be graduating high school, saying goodbye to friends, making new friends, moving out, starting college...  There will be so many changes and new beginnings that I am going to have to face.  To be honest, it's a little frightening.  I don't deal with change well.  Someone reorganizes the bottles on my bathroom counter and I can't bear the change.  How will I handle moving to a new city in a far away place, away from my bedroom and my friends and my family?  I know that my faith in the Lord will get me through a lot of trials and change I know is to come. 

2011 will be new, exciting, joyful... it will be an adventure.

This past year, 2010, has been amazing.  I've grown up and changed in so many ways.  There are so many experiences and highlights I remember when I think back on the last twelve months.  I've become a senior in high school.  I've interned at an inner city ministry called City Church.  I've learned things from both children and adults.  My best friend has lived with me for part of the year.  The 30 Days of Kindness taught me so much.  I've learned how to be a missionary without traveling overseas.  I've written a 65k word novel.  I've made top five on inkpop in August and received a review from a HarperCollins editor.  I've made a few friends.  I've grown closer to my family, especially to my mom.  I got a new puppy.  I've thrown two surprise birthday parties for my friends.  I turned eighteen.  I've gotten the opportunity to be a "big sister" to a few amazing younger girls.  I've conquered some fears.  I've made friends on this blog. :)

I'm not a big fan of making crazy New Year's resolutions, mostly because I think we should constantly be striving to improve ourselves.  However, I do believe that the new year can serve as a beginning of sorts where we can start anew.  Because of that, I have made two "resolutions" for myself that I will try to fulfill this year. 

1. I want to read through the Bible again.  I love to read the Bible, to be honest.  I like to read in general, so the stories and pieces of information always fascinate me rather than put me to sleep.  I've read the entire thing about four or five times and then I've read some sections over and over, but I know there is still much left for me to learn.  This year, I'm going to be using a schedule for the first time ever.  The Bible I'll be reading is the NIV Quest Study Bible, which you can check out here if you want to read along with me.  I'll try to share what I'm learning throughout the year, although I probably won't post something about my daily Bible readings every single day.  We'll see.  :)

2. I want to put more effort into ending poverty.  I want to be more self-sacrificing, and I plan to give more of myself to help others.  If you're a regular reader of my blog, then you've probably seen a lot of posts about Africa and poverty and helping the poor.  Over the last few months, I've slacked off a little, and I'm not satisfied with that.  I want to do more to help end world poverty, including the kids who are hungry in my own community.  You will most definitely see some more blog entries about helping the needy, so be prepared for that.  I also want to encourage my readers to stand up against hunger and poverty... and I have some plans in the workings already, so keep an eye out.

Those are the goals I've set for the new year.  Be my accountability.  Don't let me forget them.  What are your resolutions?   


 

It's New Years Eve again, a time where I look back over the last year and see how I've changed and how I've grown.  I've made mistakes this year that I regret.  I've learned things I didn't even know I needed to learn.  I went through some hard times, but I was given amazing opportunities that still make my head spin. 

While I don't throw everything into my New Year's Resolutions like most people do, I still make goals for myself and for my future.  I'll share my New Year's Resolutions with you tomorrow on actual New Years Day.  Perhaps you can hold me accountable.  Today I want to share with you some of my goals of how I want to grow as a person and as a follower of Christ. 

Next year is going to be a huge change for me.  I'll be graduating high school and entering college.  I'll be making new friends and living in a new place.  I know I'll be vastly different by the time December 31, 2011 rolls around.  By the end of next year, I want to have improved myself in the following ways.

---

I want to be more patient.

I want to be more self-sacrificing.

I want to be more nurturing.

I want to be more bold.

I want to be more forgiving.

I want to be stronger in Jesus Christ.

I want to be less afraid.

I want to be more confident in myself.

I want to be more confident about what God has planned for my future.

I want to be more joyful.

---

I want to strive to develop these things not only over the next year, but over my entire lifetime.  I am such a broken, sinful person.  There is so much work that needs to be done on my heart, and these are only a few of the areas in which I need to improve.  Thankfully, I know that if I ask Jesus to help me and if I truly work at improving myself, I am capable of becoming who God wants me to be.

New Years isn't the only time to work on improving myself or to set goals, but in a way, it is a new beginning.  It's a good reminder of the journey I've begun as a little girl striving to be like Jesus.  And each year, I think I'll get a little closer.

How would you like to improve yourself and/or your relationship with God this year?

I took this picture when I was in Mexico some years back, the summer before I entered high school.  I was actually able to travel to Mexico twice that summer, once on a vacation with my family and then again on a mission trip with my friend Rebekah.  Both visits were a total blast.

Like I've said before, I'm no professional photographer, although I do enjoy taking pictures.  My friends call me a picture hoarder.  I suppose what appeals to me about this picture today is the fact that it's yellow and green and flowery and... well, it's an escape from the bland winter I see when I look out my window. 

I like the shimmery rain drops you can see on the leaves.  I like the vibrant colors of this unedited picture.  I like flowers.  I like how this plant wasn't just part of some garden.  It brings back good memories.  On a shivery December day like today, I'd like to be able to see some pretty yellow flowers and vivid green leaves in real life.  No more winter!  Let's see some pretty flowers.  Oh, how I miss the heat and color of the summer.  Sigh...

Yes, I greatly enjoyed visiting Mexico, both times I went that summer.  My Mexico vacation was beautiful and relaxing.  I was very well pampered there.  I went to the Playa del Carmen resort.  The second time I visited Mexico City and stayed with some family friends who work in the mission field over there.  That was a very fun and uplifting trip as well. 

For the fun of it, here's another picture.  It is of me, my friend Rebekah, and our friend Priscilla who is an MK in Mexico City.  I'm the one on the far right, Rebekah's in the middle, and Priscilla's on the left.  We're all dressed up to perform a silent skit of Cain and Abel.  I was Cain, Rebekah was Abel, and Priscilla performed... well, God.  That was a fun day.  I like our outfits.  We look so young here.  After all, this was over four years ago.

I love traveling.  Where's your favorite place you've ever been?  

I thought that today I'll go ahead and answer some questions that I have been asked in comments and emails.  I'll be answering ten more questions in a week or two as well.  If this doesn't interest you, feel free to exit out.  I won't be offended.  At the end of today's post, I'll be asking you five questions that I'd love for you to answer.  I want to know more about you, my readers. 

Is your name really Emily?
Yes, it really is.  I didn't make up a name for the sake of this blog.  I have been called Emily since I was born.

How old are you?
I am eighteen.  My birthday is October 14, in case you'd like to mark your calendars. :)

Where do you get the inspiration to write about what you do?
I get my inspiration in a lot of different ways.  Sometimes a song or the weather will inspire me to write.  Seeing how much apathy dwells in the lives of young Christians inspires me to write quite often.  I try to find hope through my writing.  Hope gives me a lot of inspiration. 
 
How long have you been a Christian?
A little over eight years.  You can check out my testimony here.

Why is this blog called "EmilythePerson" or "Emily is Smiling"?
- My little blogs and things from the past have been called "EmilythePerson" since I was in early middle school.  In middle school, everyone has to have a stereotype: goth, emo, prep, skater... you know the drill.  I hated the idea of being classified into one group that controlled the way I dressed and acted, so I called myself Emily the Person, if anyone ever asked me what my label was. 
- Emily is Smiling actually comes from a Facebook status.  Original, eh?  Through my past, I have suffered through depression more than once.  At one point, it was a big deal if I actually was smiling and feeling happy.  I don't ever want to go back to the dark place I was, so titling my blog Emily is Smiling is a daily reminder of the joy I feel from knowing Jesus.
 
Where can I contact you?
You can contact me at emilytheperson@yahoo.com, but be warned: I rarely check that account, so there's a chance it could be a long time before I see your email.  The best and quickest way to contact me is through the comments.

Why do you write so much about modest trends?
I was homeschooled when I was younger, so I know the tendency people have to believe that homeschooled girls are "modest," but total nerds.  I believe that you can dress modestly, but still look cute.  That's why I write a lot of Modest Trends posts.  I like to give style options for girls like me who strive to be modest. 

You review a lot of books.  What are some books/authors that you recommend?
Tosca Lee and Ted Dekker are my favorite authors.  I'd recommend anything by them.  Frank Peretti is another great writer, although he hasn't come out with anything new in a long time.  I'm currently reading the "Left Behind" series by Jerry B. Jenkins and Tim LaHaye.  I recommend those books as well.  "Deadline" by Randy Alcorn is also amazing.  Khaled Hosseini is an amazing author as well.

How do you have the time to write something new every day?
To be honest, I don't have a whole lot of time.  I'm a senior in high school with a crazy-busy schedule.  It's time to let you in on a little secret... I don't actually write all of my blogs on the day they're posted.  I write a lot of my blog entries before the actual day and schedule them.  This way a lot of stress is taken away and I don't feel as pressured to post everything on time.  Some entries I do write the day I post them, but things like the Modest Trends, poetry, and Music Artist Reviews, I schedule to post ahead of time. 

How much time does it take to maintain a blog like this?
If you're considering making your own blog, let me tell you: Keeping up a daily blog takes a lot of time and dedication.  I plan what I'm going to write on little calendars that I keep on my desk.  I write lists of blog post ideas when I'm at school.  Planning is time-consuming, but fairly easy.  The writing is hard to keep up with at times, I'll admit, but I have a huge passion for writing, so I enjoy it.  I wouldn't bother keeping up a blog if I didn't love to write. 

Questions for You-
1. What is your name?
2. How old are you?
3. Do you have a blog... if so, what do you write about?
4. Who is your favorite author?
5. Do you read blogs regularly (doesn't have to be mine)?


 

This picture was obviously taken many years ago, scanned onto my computer with help from my dad. 

I am the little girl in this photograph.  I don't remember when this was taken, but I can deduce a scenario from the picture.  I'm wearing a nightgown, so I must be getting ready for bed.  The chair was my grandma's, so I suspect I was staying at her house. 

I call my grandma Nawnie.  What I like about the look on her face is that she appears to be much, much more interested in the story than I am.  In fact, she seems completely absorbed.  Curious George... ahh, I believe that was my favorite book as a little girl.  See how worn out that is?

I like the coziness of this picture.  We're wearing warm winter clothes and we're nestled into a cozy arm chair, snuggled nice and tight. 

The look on my face is priceless.  You can tell that I'm much more excited that my grandma is reading me a book than that a book is being read to me, if that makes any sense.

There are many details about this picture that I love, like the head of a stuffed puppy you can see sticking up in the picture.  I must have insisted that he be allowed to hear the story as well.  I think it's cute that a small, silver ring is visible on my finger.  I gotta say, in this picture, I'm very cute.  I look very happy here.  Very content.

What was your favorite storybook as a little kid? 

I have gotten a lot of positive feedback on my new Yorkie puppy, Jack.  Everybody seems to think he's the cutest puppy in the whole wide world, and I'll have to agree. :)  Because of this, I thought I'd go ahead and share several pictures of the little guy.  Because Jack is an attention-loving ham, I'm sure he won't mind.  Check them out and feel free to vote on which of these pictures is the absolute cutest.

This is one of the first pictures we ever took of Jack, the night we got him.  He was six and a half weeks old at the time and very, very cute, as you can see.  His hair was so short and fuzzy, he looked like a little teddy bear!  See how small he was compared to my fingers?  I miss him being that size.  He's a full two pounds now, while he was only half a pound at the time this photo was taken.  My sweet boy.  And yes, that was me in the background. This next picture is of Jack during one of the first times we took him outside.  The world must have seemed very strange and big to the sweet little guy.  Although the grass in our front yard was short-cropped, it reached all the way up to Jack's little chest.  He was very nervous about being outside.  He wouldn't venture far from my side.  He was still brave, though.  He didn't tremble and shiver, like a lot of small dogs do.  Although hesitant, he cautiously ventured out and sniffed at my big cat, Oreo.  You can catch a glimpse of the tiny collar I picked out for Jack the day before we got him.  It was the smallest size they had available at the store.  It's red with little bones decorating the sides.

In this next picture, Jack is being his usual hammish self and playing.  He seems to think that he more closely resembles a full grown Great Dane than a half pound Yorkie puppy.  Because of this, even when we first got him, he would eagerly attack my fingers and growl furiously at me.  If his sharp little teeth ever pinched too hard, I would cry out really loud, so he soon learned to only play bite very gently.  You can see how small Jack is in this picture compared to my hand.  I love his colors.  He's turned very silver and gold now that he's a month or two older, rather than the black and copper color he was here.  Jack was just so stinking cute. 

This would have to be my favorite Jacky picture of all times.  He's cuddled up in a blue blanket that my grandma made with me several years back.  Jack just looks so small here!  One of my friends called him the anime puppy.  Can you see the resemblance?  I love Jack's huge eyes, nose, and ears.  His head looks way big for his body.  His stubby little legs make him look even cuter.  And look at the expression he has on his face.  So cute.  This might even be one of those gag-worthy cute pictures I hear guys talk about.  Just so cute!  I love you, Jack!

Well, there's Jack.  Which of these pictures was your favorite?  What did you think about this blog entry?  Do you like Jack pictures?  Would you like to see more?  These were all taken within the first week I had Jack, so he's a bit older now and I have about 8,000,000,000,000,000 pictures of him.  If you'd like to see another blog full of Jacky pictures, please let me know in the comments.        
 

Dear Gatlin,

I wouldn't believe it if I didn't have a calendar sitting right in front of my face.  It's been exactly three years since you died.  1,096 days. 

There are so many things I wish I could tell you.  I wish I could show you how much your little sisters have grown.  I'd show you the videos I finally had the courage to put up on YouTube of me singing and playing the guitar.  You always knew I could do it.  I wish I could play you the songs I wrote about you.  For you.  I'd show you the guy who actually made president in 2008, just so I could hear you rant and rave about how awful our government has become.  I wish I could talk about a boy, just so you'd get mad.  I'd play for you on my new guitar that you never got to hear.  We were still trying to think of names for it when you went away.  I'd send you my favorite rap song and laugh when you sent me five "real" songs in response.  I'd probably yell at you.  'Cause sometimes I still feel angry, you know.  I'd probably cry.  No, I know I would. 

I've stopped blaming myself.  You'd probably be glad about that.  There are still some days when I think, "If I only would have..."  But then I have to remember.  You were the one to make the decision to end your own life, Gatlin.  That was you.  Not me.  How can I honestly blame myself if I would have stopped you had I known?  That's irrational.  It's just hard to be rational sometimes, you know? 

To be honest with you, I still don't understand why you took your own life.  You had a bright future ahead of you.  You had one of the coolest families ever.  You had friends who adored you.  It was a selfish decision.  You hurt people you loved.  You promised never to hurt me, Gatlin, but you've hurt me more than anyone else has so far.  Some days, when I think of you, I feel a lot of anger.  I wonder how anyone who said he loved us so much would turn around and do something this cruel.  I wasn't the same for months after you died.  You know that? 

I don't like to be angry at you, though.  What's the point in that?  Why be angry at someone who's already gone?  I try to think about the good memories instead.  There are lots of those, hidden beneath the painful memories of your funeral and the emotions I felt the night I learned that you died.

The good memories, when I think about them, still make me smile.  I remember when you started capitalizing "you" every time you talked to me online. "Emily, You are worth more than You think You are, so I'll capitalize 'you' to remind You until You get it.  Okay?"  I felt so special when you did that.  We stayed up all night talking sometimes.  When I cried to you over the phone one time, you answered immediately, "Who do I need to beat up today?"  I told you I'd always wanted a big brother and you immediately volunteered, even though you were a month younger than I was.  I like to think about those memories, Gatlin.  Not the bad ones, because I know we had those too.

It's comforting to me that you were a Christian.  I know you're in heaven.  Are you sorry for cutting your life short?  You would have been an incredible musician.  You were the best guitarist I knew already.  You left me amazed when I saw your YouTube videos.  I'm so grateful for a God who forgives us even when we screw up bad, aren't you? 

A few years before you went away, you told me that if you died, everyone would forget about you after three months.  It's been three years now.  Three years today.  I doubt anyone has forgotten you.  I haven't, and I wasn't even your best friend.  You're not forgotten, Gatlin.  You're remembered.

I feel sad when I think of the way you died.  Of how young you were, of how young I was.  Fifteen is too young to experience death.  Now I'm eighteen -and you would be too- and I'm growing up, slowly but surely.  When I think about our friendship, I'll admit it: We seem young in my mind now.  But I still treasure those memories and I treasure the friendship I had with you.  You were a good friend.  I'll never forget you, not in three years and not in thirty years.  You'll always hold a place in my heart as the boy who offered to play the role of my big brother once upon a time.

This letter was more difficult for me to write than I thought it would be.  I wish you could read my words.  I've never been to heaven, so I don't know if you can or not.  I guess I can tell you all of these things when I get there myself, whenever that will be.

I still miss you.  I wish you had not chosen to commit suicide like you did, Gatlin.  You broke my heart for a long time... I can't even imagine what your death did to your family.  However, time goes on.  Just like I know you would have wanted, I'm moving on.  I'll never forget you, but I'm okay now.  Jesus has been my rock through the hard times your death has inflicted on my life. The Lord has put amazing friends in my life, and I know they won't make the same decision you did.  I just wanted to let you know that.  I'll be okay.

I wish you were still alive, but I'm thankful in a way for the perseverance I've gained through facing these trials.  I've learned to give my pain to God.  I've grown and matured because of the struggles I faced after your death.  I do not thank you for hurting me and those around you, but I do thank you for making me a stronger person.  I do thank you for helping me grow closer to God, when at times, I've strayed so far away from him.  And I do thank you for being my friend those three years before your death.  You were my first real "guy friend."

Even though I cry sometimes (like now!), I'm still a happy person.  I'm going to live my life to the fullest.  I'll remember you with a smile, not with sadness and tears.

Thanks for being in my life while you were.  Lylab.

-Emily


---

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline
1-800-273-8255

Gatlin's YouTube Channel
https://www.youtube.com/user/gibsonlovergatlin

 

Instead of a book review today, I decided to post something that has bothered me for a while now.

I want people to like me.

That's just the truth.  I want to be liked. 

Do I usually rebel against conformity?  Sure.  I often don't dress like everyone else on purpose.  I am quiet when others are loud.  I listen to my own style of music.  I value originality.  Even though I like to be unique, I desperately want to be liked.  If I'm not liked by someone, I'm bothered.  A lot.

Sometimes my struggle to be liked can be my downfall of sorts.  I often try to please everyone and end up ignoring my own needs.  Sometimes I focus on pleasing others instead of God.  Trying so hard to be liked can end up making me doubt myself as well.  I'm generally a confident person.  However, if someone dislikes me, I can quickly shut down and doubt myself. 

I'll make up an example off the top of my head.  Let's say I'm trying to reach out to some younger girls and I overhear someone say, "Emily acts so fake.  I can't believe she's pretending to like us."  I might immediately question my actions and words, asking myself and my close friends if that's how I appear.  If I feel disliked enough, I might even throw up my hands and walk away.  I think to myself, "It's not worth it.  I'm obviously bad at this.  Bah.  I give up.  Find someone else to minister to these girls, God.  I don't want to do this anymore." 

Giving up is never a part of God's plan.  When I give up, I fail. 

I hate the feeling of failure.  Don't you?

The other day, I overheard some girls at school talking about me behind my back.  I haven't been through an experience like that since eighth grade!  To be honest, their words weren't that mean.  They were mocking a leadership role I've taken at school and the way I spoke to a group of kids.  It was obvious by what they were saying that they didn't like me all that much.  At first, I wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear.  A thousand horrified thoughts flew through my head all at once.  "They don't like me.  I've failed.  I've ruined this leadership role.  I've failed at being liked at school.  I'm such a failure.  How can God even use me at all?"  For a split second, I wanted to forget being any kind of a leader, withdraw into my shy shell, and not talk to anyone ever again.  I mean, they didn't like me.  After a few moments of self-pity, I realized how silly I was acting.

Is my life defined by what those girls think of me?  Am I not a leader anymore because of the things those girls were saying?  Does God not still love me?  Has the purpose He gave me at my school been turned into nothing?  Of course not. 

People are going to dislike me sometimes because of who I am and Who I stand for, and I'm going to have to learn to deal with that, as hard as it can be.  Jesus had haters.  People murdered Him and gambled away His clothes, for crying out loud.  His disciples were all persecuted and most were even killed. 

Even though it might sting to face meanness and dislike from others, I cannot allow my hurt feelings to get in the way of what God has planned for my life.  He wants me to be a leader at my school, whether or not some kids make fun of me behind my back.  He wants me to stand up and make friends with people I don't know, even if I'll face rejection sometimes. 

God's opinion is what matters in the long run.  I just need to please Him.  Everyone else is secondary.

I've given up many times after facing dislike from others.  I've failed.  I've let down the God who gave me life.  I don't want to give up anymore.  I don't want to care so much about what other people think of me that I'll give up on plans God has for me in order to keep everyone happy.  That isn't what He wants.  I'm so thankful that God loves me enough to give me an unlimited number of second chances. 

I want people to like me.  That will never change.  If I had my way, then everyone would like each other, even though I know that's unrealistic.  I'll continue to be nice to people and smile (I am Emily is Smiling, after all).  However, I know I will not always be liked.  I don't deserve to be liked by everyone, if I'm honest with myself. 

For now, I guess I'm satisfied with the fact that Jesus Christ likes me so much, He thinks I'm to die for.




 

This picture was taken by me last January.  It's completely unedited, and there are many aspects about this photograph that I love.

The first thing you probably notice is my ten-year-old bichon frise, Buddy, standing waist deep in the snow, looking off into the distance.  He's white, like the snow, so he matches the photo in a very fitting way, I think.  I love how you can see the wind blowing about his little ears and tail.  You can tell by the way Buddy is standing that he really, really wants to go out there and play in the snow with my little brother, but the ferocity of the blizzard is just too intimidating, so he is settling to watch from afar.

The next thing you probably notice is my brother.  His name is Luke and he was ten at the time this photo was taken.  (He is now eleven.)  Despite the fact that it was snowing very, very heavily outside, he couldn't help but go play in the giant snow drifts that were piling up.  He couldn't bear to play for more than ten minutes at a time- it was just too cold- but he played as long as he could, bundled up until he was a chubby silhouette amongst the snow.

I love the contrast that the dark green barn and the spindly tree branches make with the otherwise white background.  That poor tree was frozen solid.  Those bushes as well... they were weighted down with the heavy snow.  That poor bush towards the middle is almost completely covered. 

The snow actually looks pretty (I hate snow, in case you were wondering) in this picture.  It's piled on the porch in pretty drifts.  I like the way you can see Buddy's shuffling footprints through my front yard.  I like how the snow is falling in clouds against the barn. 

Yes, yes, I know this picture isn't a professional's shot by far.  I don't even know why I took it.  To be honest, I'm not sure why like it as much as I do.  It's no artistic photograph.  I just like it.  It holds memories.  It snapped Buddy's wistful longing to play with my brother in an eternal shot.  I just... like this. 

Do you like snow or are you not a fan, like me?  
 

Let's do this Facebook style.  Here are twenty-five random facts that you may or may not need to know about me.  See if we have anything in common... and do this yourself.  What are twenty-five things about YOU?

1.  I am always freezing.  Even in summer, I can be found wearing a jacket.  My hands are always cold to the touch as well. 

2.  My friends call me a picture hoarder because I love to take pictures and I keep them like they're treasures, every one of them.  I have tens of thousands of pictures on my computer and many also hang from my walls, rest on my desk and cabinets, and decorate my homemade calendars.

3.  I'm in love with Elvis Presley.  Seriously, if he was still alive, I would probably be a rabid fan girl, as much as I despise that idea.  He's just amazing.

4.  I'm not a fan of winter.  Or snow.  Or anything cold.  I'm cold-natured, so sunshiney days are what make me happy and keep me warm.  I do love rain though.

5.  I'm directionally challenged to the extreme.  I've been driving for more than two years, but I still have trouble finding my friends' houses.  I use a GPS.  For everything.  After two years of going to the same places every single day.  Yes, it's pathetic.  No, I can't fix it.  I'm stuck like this.

6.  I type insanely fast.  The highest score I've ever gotten on a typing test was a 138 my freshman year of high school.  I took one the other day and got a 124.  Not my highest ever, but still pretty high.

7.  I'm fascinated with accents and different languages and cultures.  I could sit at the feet of a world traveler and listen to his stories all day long.  I've actually been to eleven different countries, so I tend to be the storyteller most of the time.
 
8.  I am the absolute worst at keeping in touch with people.  If you want to hang out with me, you generally need to make the first contact.  It's not that I don't care.  It's just part of my personality, I suppose.  I am very much a sole-focus kind of person, and I tend to think about one thing at a time.  I'm also the kind of person who can easily re-connect with a long distance friend, even after a year or two.

9.  I don't have much of a sweet tooth.  I prefer salty foods.

10.  I have one thing I'll usually eat at certain restaurants.  I never vary in my meal choices.  In fact, I'd rather not eat than order something new off the menu.  I'm quite picky.

11.  My nails are usually painted black.  Some people think it's my inner rebellion showing through, but really... I just love the color black.  Not in a depressed way... I just think it's pretty.  Honest.  Anything with a black and white design, I love.  You should see my bedroom.  Black and white all the way.

12.  I'm not a big animal lover.  I used to be when I was little, but now I'm not.  I don't know if I'll ever have a pet when I'm older, although I could see myself with one small dog like my Yorkie puppy, Jack, who I love with all of my heart.  He's the exception to my "no animals" rule.

13.  I love to play my own music on the guitar and piano, although I'm not that good at either one.  I'm just decent enough to get by on.  I like to sing while I play, so I prefer to stick with easy things like chords. 

14.  I have the most amazing friends in the entire world.  (Okay, okay, this can be time for a collective "awwwwwwwww."  Are we done?  Good.  Let's move on.)

15.  I go through snack phases, meaning I eat a certain snack after school every single day until I burn out.  It's part of my OCD, I suppose.  Since the beginning of high school, it has been, in order: apples, popcorn, cereal, sour patch kids, ritz peanut butter mini-crackers, fruit of some sort, baked lays, and now turkey and swiss cheese.  Not on bread, just plain.  I know.  I go through weird cravings. 
 
16.  I stay up until ungodly hours of the night, pacing and reading and singing and writing and playing the guitar and staring at the ceiling.  It's called insomnia, and I have it bad.

17.  Sometimes I just really, really want to do something crazy and change the world.

18.  I lost my purity ring being chased in the park by one of my guy friends.  He was carrying a huge bucket of water after dragging me through a creek.  For some reason, I didn't want to get more wet than I already was, if that was even possible.  I ran away.  The ring slipped into a patch of tall, shiny grass.  We never saw it again.  But it's a joke of mine that I lost my purity ring being chased by a boy. :)

19.  I write constantly.  It's like I can't even help it. 

20.  I don't own a CD player.  I have two iPod players in my room and one in my car.  Not even my car contains a CD player.  It's all run by iPod.  I'm such a child of technology. 

21.  I'm completely awful at anything related to science or math.  Those two subjects completely frustrate and confuse me.  On the other hand, I'm very good at English.  It's my favorite.  I'm the kind of person who will read my government text book and mark the errors.  Sorry, that's just who I am.
 
22.  I pretend to be brave a lot, but I'm really a big scaredy cat.  I'm scared of heights, water, fast-moving things, vacuum cleaners, guns...  Sad thing is, the list could go on and on.  I try to conquer my fears, but there's still a lot of them left to defeat.

23.  My favorite holiday is 4th of July, not Christmas.  I suppose because I love everything about the 4th of July.  My family and friends all come over to my house to just spend time together and laugh and talk.  We sit outside in the warm summer heat and eat food off the grill.  We make yummy desserts and homemade ice cream.  We all share the cost of fireworks and spend half the night setting them off and then watching the firework displays in the city explode over the horizon, right beneath the stars.  It's the best holiday ever, in my book.

24.  I honestly dislike talking on the phone a lot.  I don't use my cell phone that much, and when I do, I prefer to text- not call.  I usually only text when necessary, though.  I'm not very fast at it.  I don't know.  I just prefer face-to-face contact so much more nowadays.
 
25.  I've kept a journal since I was eight.  Pretty cool, right?  I love looking back on the old entries.  I've typed up about 3/4ths of them and I have about 100k words of journal entries.  This last year, my blog has stood as my journal a lot, although I still infrequently keep a journal in an actual notebook.

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Whew, well... there's twenty-five facts about me.  That was actually a lot easier to write than I thought it would be.  Your turn.   
 

I took this photo a few weeks ago.  It's of my darling puppy Jack.  He's a miniature Yorkshire Terrier and was born on August 9th, I believe. 

When I took this picture, I was playing with Jack.  It was mid-afternoon and he was a little sleepy, so he'd flopped over on his back to play.  His fuzzy little legs stuck straight up in the air.  I would make a growling noise and hold my hands several inches over his head and then reach down and grab at Jack's tummy.  He would make little growling noises in return and nip at my fingers.  When I lifted my hands back into the air, he'd stick his legs straight up and bare his tiny teeth, waiting for me to attack again. 

It was a fun afternoon.  I love spending time with Jack.  He's such a ham. 

What I love about this picture is how much it looks like Jack is smiling.  I think he was enjoying himself as much as I was.

In today's comments, I'd love to see pictures of your smiling dog, puppy or not.
 

Happy Thanksgiving.  I feel... thankful today.  More so, perhaps, than I have in previous years.  Notice the giant image to your left.  Read every word.  It touched me.

As a senior in high school this year, my life has come to a turning point.  I'm about to leave home in a few months and embark on a journey of my own.  My decisions from this point forward will make a huge, huge difference in my life.  When I was younger, if I messed up, it was okay.  My parents took care of everything.  I'll be on my own now, and the decisions I'll be making will be life decisions and not only little ones. 

I'm so blessed to have what I have.  I've been given so many important things in my life, I could not even list them all if I tried.  I have...

A family that loves and supports me.  Not even all of my friends have parents who actually care where they are right now or what they're doing for Thanksgiving.  My parents love me and let me know of their affections for me every single day.  They support me in the decisions I make.  They're going to miss me when I leave home.  They'll make the effort to see me as often as they can.  My little brother is adorable, not annoying.  My little sister has a huge heart.  I have grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins who actually strive to spend time together.  No one could have a better family than me.

An education.  I'm graduating from a private school.  I'll be going to a great university.  I'm going to become whatever I want to be in life.  I've been given so many opportunities.

Three meals a day, plus snacks.  Seriously, I get all the food I need and more.  When my stomach starts to grumble in between lunch and dinner, I can easily walk downstairs, open the pantry, and find myself one of thirty different snacks.  How many people in the world have that opportunity? 

Clothes.  I have a lot of clothes.  I have a lot of shoes.  My parents have allowed me to lead an amazing, blessed lifestyle that not many people can have.  I am so grateful for the fact that I can feel cool in the summer and warm in the winter and feel confident in myself and my style.

Friends.  I have the best friends in the world.  I'm not just saying that.  I truly do.  Don't believe me?  Ask them.  I've never seen any group of high school friends so devoted to each other, so loyal, so accountable, so devoted to growing in Christ, and so drama free.  We've made lifelong relationships.

My health.  I am generally a very healthy person.  I don't have disease or disability.  I am able to run and dance and spin in circles until I fall over in the grass.  God has given me my health and I am so grateful for that.  God has also given my family and friends their health as well, which is just as important to me.

A roof over my head.  I have never been homeless.  I have always had a place to live and feel warm and protected.  I even have my own room where I can express myself and gain my own independence.  I have a comfortable, warm bed to sleep in.  I have air condition for the summer and a heater for the winter.  I have closets and a bathroom and a kitchen downstairs.  I have so much.  

I am so thankful for everything that God has blessed me with during my short lifetime.  I can't even express how grateful I truly feel.  What amazes me is how little of this I've deserved. 

Thank you, Jesus.  So much.  I owe it all to You.

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What are YOU grateful for?

 

Lavin is a beautiful little girl, as you can see in the available pictures of her on this page.  She's thirteen now.  I first began to sponsor her when she was ten years old.  Lavin lives in a small shack with her mom and uncle, who she calls her step-dad.  Lavin's dad died some years back.  Lavin absolutely adores singing and dancing.  She's very creative and intelligent.  Lavin is meek and quiet, but when she comes out of her shell, nothing can stand in her way.  She's in the fourth grade.

During the summer of 2009, I was given the opportunity to travel to Kisumu, Kenya and meet Lavin in person.  In fact, I was able to spend an entire week at her school.  Lavin and I became friends over that week.  I was very sad to leave her, and even a year and a half later, I still think about Lavin every day and write her frequent letters.

When in Africa, I was given the opportunity to see just how much I blessed Lavin's life through my sponsorship.  I first began to sponsor Lavin when I was fifteen years old and a freshman in high school.  I sacrificed money that came out of my allowance, but I felt that it was worth it.  After visiting Kenya, Africa, I saw how "worth it" my small sacrifice truly was.

After I sponsored Lavin, she was allowed to attend school and receive a real education.  My sponsorship will last through vocational school or a university, so Lavin can become whoever she wants to be.  Lavin is given clothes, a school uniform, and good school shoes.  Lavin is taught spiritually.  She has asked Jesus into her heart.  She has memorized Bible verses for school.  She attends church each Sunday.  She receives three meals a day, which is much more than she would have gotten without a sponsor.  If she becomes sick, Lavin is given treatment at an on-campus clinic.  Lavin receives letters from someone who lives across the world -me- and knows now that she is loved and cherished. 

I was blessed after meeting Lavin as well.  Her obvious joy that came from the Lord, her maturity, and her sweet, crooked smile changed the way I viewed my own life.  You can read my journal from when I spent two weeks in Africa here, on my website.

I very recently received a card in the mail from Lavin. I love it.  My little girl is so creative and talented.  I loved to see her drawing of a mud hut, possibly based off of the one in which she lives.  The letter is precious.  I'll go ahead and let you read what it says.


I try to write Lavin letters as often as I can because I was able to see how much the letters actually meant to the sponsored children at Lavin's school.  When a child received a letter, she was literally mobbed by other students, who examined every word, photograph, and sticker sheet.  Children keep letters from their sponsor forever.  Most could quote facts about their sponsors and their sponsors' families... just from the letters.  Letters from people in America who care mean so much to these kids.  If you sponsor a child, please write him or her a letter at least twice a year.  It's so important to them.  I can't stress that enough.

I used to wonder as a sponsor if my money actually went anywhere or helped anyone, or if it merely lined the pockets of pompous, greedy executives.  I don't know about other humanitarian organizations, but I do know that Christian Relief Fund strives to truly help as many children as they possibly can.  I was able to witness multiple lives that were changed because of the ministry of CRF.  Without CRF, many children would be dead right now from starvation and disease, possibly even including Lavin. 

There were children dressed in ragged clothing standing at the gates of the school, waiting for scraps of food to be given to them for a meal.  They were the unsponsored children.  I turned to look at the sponsored children with their uniforms and big smiles, laughing, singing, and playing lighthearted games before returning to class.  What a difference my sponsorship made on Lavin's life.

If you do not sponsor a child, I strongly recommend you to consider the idea.  When you sponsor a child through Christian Relief Fund, you will receive progress reports, school report cards, personal letters and drawings from your child, and yearly photo updates.  You will be changing a child's life forever, physically, mentally, and spiritually.  When you receive letters and cards from your special child, you will feel touched and excited, eager to see how you have blessed someone's life.

There are so many children waiting for a sponsor right now, eager to have their lives changed.  You could be the one to change a life.  Perhaps God has that purpose for you.  Go to the Christian Relief Fund website here and click on the link that says "Sponsor a Child."  You can also sponsor a family or school.  If you simply do not have the funds to monthly sponsor a child, you can give a seasonal gift by clicking on this link.  There are all sorts of ways that you can give to change a family's life, such as a chicken, a mosquito net, a home in Haiti, and so much more.  

I wish I could return to Kenya, just like Lavin asked in her sweet letter.  I wish I could with all of my heart.  When I find the funds to allow me to return to Kisumu and embrace my little girl again, I will speak with her for ages, teach her brand new songs for Jesus, talk to her about her future, and encourage her as much as I possibly can. 

For a little girl who lives halfway around the world, for a little girl with whom I've only spent a week of my life, I sure love Lavin.  And if she is this precious to me, I can't even imagine how much Jesus Christ cherishes her and wishes her -and every single other child who lives in a third world country- the best life imaginable.

 

Today we broke the rules a little.  Ali and I were both busy with jobs, cleaning, and homework, so we stretched the rules and had a friend over instead.  We had dinner together.  It was delicious.  Hamburgers, chips, ice cream, and pumpkin bread.  My parents had some guests over as well and we spent much of the evening talking and laughing together.  I love having fellowship with other people and spending time with them.  I had a great time with my friend.  After dinner, we rented a movie and watched it together.  I know my friend felt special hanging out with me, and I definitely felt special hanging out with her!

Ali: When I spent time with my friend over dinner and a movie, we had tons of fun, and it makes me so happy because we can bond, all three of us and just, um, grow closer.  It's just so nice because throughout our days, we don't have much time to just sit down and talk or spend time with each other. 

What did you do with a friend today?

It was fairly easy to personally encourage someone today because it was my birthday.  I thanked a few different friends for their friendship.  They were so sweet to me today, surprising me over and over again.  This has been a great day.  Seeing the look of gratitude and excitement on my friends' faces when I encouraged them brought yet another smile to my face.  I love being encouraged as well, and my friends definitely encouraged me today.

Ali: Oh, goodness.  Well, I encouraged one of my friends before she took a quiz that she was going to do good.  Unfortunately, the quiz was really hard and so even though I really did believe that she was going to do good and really did mean the encouragement, the quiz did not turn out so good, but then the teacher changed the quiz.  So in the end, she didn't get the bad grade!

Me: How did she respond to your encouragement?

Ali: She was nervous, but grateful, I guess.

Me: Did it make you feel good to encourage her?

Ali: Well, I was hoping, you know, that by encouraging her, it would give her something, and then she'd be like, "Yeah, I can do this!" and then she'd do good, but... Well, she did try her hardest.  The quiz was just hard.

How did you encourage a friend today?

I enjoyed complimenting people today.  There's just something about a compliment that makes someone's face light up.  You can literally see a rising of confidence after you compliment someone.  I complimented clothes, hair, smarts at school... really, just whatever popped into my head.  It felt good making somebody else feel good.  I enjoyed the experience. 

Ali: Oh, goodness!  I was out selling poinsettias and pies for my senior trip to the neighbors.  I used this opportunity to give out compliments.  I commented on their houses, pets, the smell of their house on one occasion, and various things like that.  They were really nice and sweet people.  I think when you compliment someone, it makes them more prone to being friendly and nice to you.

Me: Were they sincere compliments or were you just trying to get through the challenge?

Ali: No, they really were sincere!  I liked their doggies, so I would compliment that.  They were really sincere.  I wasn't just trying to sell poinsettias!  Compliments or giving out compliments comes pretty easy to me because I just like giving out compliments. 

What did you do for today?

Today's kindness challenge was to write an encouraging note to a friend.  I chose to write a card and send it through the mail to the lady I got to know at the nursing home, Ms. Bea.  I enjoyed picking out the perfect card and filling it with encouragements and Bible verses.  I honestly hope I made her day.  I just wish I could be there when she receives the letter.

Elderly people in nursing homes love getting mail, we learned when we visited them.  Imagine the disappointment for those who don't have a family to visit them.  They never get mail.  So I hope to truly make Bea's day by allowing her to get an encouraging letter in the mail from someone who cares.

Me: Ali, who did you give your letter?

Ali: I'm going to send my letter to Goldie, the lady I met at the nursing home.  I'm super excited to hear of her reaction.  I can't wait to see her next time and talk to her about it.  Maybe it might become a routine.

Me: Do you think giving encouraging notes is important?

Ali: Oh yes.  Sometimes we don't realize the difference it can make in someone's day or week.  She loves getting mail... actually, that's the only thing she looks forward to every day, so I know it will brighten her day, and I'm excited.

I loooooooooove writing encouraging letters.

To whom did you write your letter?

Today, Ali and I broke the rules a little bit.  Instead of making a snack for someone, we only had time to buy a snack.  My grandma was feeling sick with a bad case of bronchitis, so Ali and I went to Walgreens to buy some cough drops and a huge bucket of peppermints.  If you've never had a pepper mint with a sore throat, try it.  An excellent remedy, in my opinion.

We left a little Post-It note inside the peppermint bucket, basically telling my Nawnie to feel better soon and that we loved her.  We dropped the gift off at her house.  I know our little "snack" completely and totally made my grandma's day.  She lives alone, and I know that being sick is a miserable feeling, especially when your throat hurts and you just can't stop coughing.  I enjoyed helping out my grandma and making her feel special.

What did you do for today's challenge?

I love old people.

For today's challenge, Ali and I hugged a few people at church and at a restaurant, but we decided to visit a nursing home and hug some lonely people.  We went to the nurse and asked her if she would point out some ladies who didn't get many visitors, so she guided Ali to a lady named Goldie and me to a lady named Bea.  Both ladies were adorable and super sweet.  I haven't had such a fun, relaxed afternoon in such a long time.

I had a great experience with Bea.  I brought my nine-week-old Yorkie, Jack, and she held him the entire time.  I loved that Bea told me stories.  She kept thanking me that I came and visited her in her room.  She was so, so, so sweet.  I definitely want to start visiting her more often.  I'd also like to send her a letter to let her know I haven't forgotten her. 

Nursing homes can be such sad places, basically where people drop off their elderly family members so they'll die out of sight.  These old people are adorable and wise and loving.  All they want is someone to talk to an for  someone to care about them.  And they deserve it.  I loved today.

Me: Ali, how was your time with Goldie?

Ali: Oh, it was absolutely wonderful.  It was probably the best way I've spent my time in a long time.  Not only do I know that I made her day, but it encouraged me.  Today was definitely not a day wasted. 

Me: Any specific stories?

Ali: There are quite a few.  Let's see.  She kept asking me where I wanted to go to college, and I kept telling her A&M- if it accepts me- and then she would go on and on about how in today's world you need to go to college and have a college education, and she would just encourage me so much about college and life.

Me: Does this make you want to visit Goldie again?

Ali: Oh, it makes me want to go tomorrow! 

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We plan to make our Sunday afternoon nursing home trips a tradition from now on, as often as possible.  That's how much we enjoyed ourselves today.