Today has been a long day, but a great day. We left the hotel around 10:30 in the morning. A snazzy black SUV picked us up to take us on the hour-long ride to Port Canaveral, where we quickly checked through security.  As I passed through the metal detectors, a guard stopped me and said, “What do you think you're doing? You can't get on this ship!” I froze, feeling startled and nervous. I couldn't get on the ship? What? “You're going to have to go buy a Longhorns shirt somewhere because no Aggies are allowed past this point.”

A smile broke across my face. I was wearing an A&M t-shirt. Of course, the guard was only teasing me, so we exchanged fist bumps and grins after I passed through the metal detector. “We're cool, we're cool,” she reassured me. “We can still get along.” What a Longhorns fan was doing in Florida, I'll never know.

We are traveling with Royal Caribbean's "Freedom of the Seas."  The ship is HUGE and very fancy!

Boarding the ship was a little nerve-wracking for me. I'm terrified of the ocean, as many of you know, so as I stepped over the bridge and onto the slightly rocking ship, I knew there was no turning back.

It really isn't that bad. When I walk, I can feel the rocking of the ship the most. Dad says he feels like he's drunk or something and I see what he means, even if I've never been drunk. The ship moves up and down between steps, so it's easy to lose footing. Luckily, none of us is seasick.

Our room is very small. Amy, Luke, and I all have to fit into three twin-sized beds and a bathroom that somewhat resembles an airplane restroom. However, the beds are topped with memory foam and soft sheets, so while we are in cramped quarters, we will be comfortable.

In our room is a balcony that overlooks the ocean. At first, the balcony made me a little nervous, but now it's not so bad. For a little while, we enjoyed pointing out stingrays and jelly fish that we could see bobbing just below the surface.

We put on our bathing suits and Amy, Luke, and my Dad all went for a swim in one of the several swimming pools on deck. Mom, Nawnie, and I decided to tan instead, laying out on beach chairs and relaxing. I'm not sure if I tanned at all, but the sun sure felt nice. We get complimentary ice cream and soda wherever we go.

At four-thirty in the afternoon, the ship departed, quickly leaving the shore behind us. We are now only surrounded by a deep blue ocean that tucks behind the curve of the earth. No islands are in sight at this point. Tomorrow's journey will be entirely at sea.

We took dinner at a nice restaurant where we met our waiter from Tunisia. He's a very nice man and I'll enjoy getting to know him over the next week. He has a very thick accent and it was hilarious to see him try to communicate with Nawnie, who is half-deaf and forgot to wear her hearing aids today. With everything he said, she'd smile and nod and not understand a single word until I finally tapped him on the shoulder and said, “She doesn't have her hearing aids, so she can't understand a thing you're saying.” We all had a good laugh.

We went to see a show after dinner. At first, a very corny musical group performed, which made us all cringe with dread. Was this going to be the entire hour-long program? Thankfully, a comedian came and spoke, and two acrobats performed as well. Overall, it was a great show.

Now we've returned back to the room. The door to our balcony is wide open, so a light breeze is drifting into the room where I sit. I can hear the loud sound of the waves crashing against the boat. It's a little eerie to look out into the black ocean. The sky and water are both very dark. It's a little frightening. The water is so big and deep that it could easily swallow me up and out of sight.

It's best to not think of such things!

Anyways, it's been a great day so far. I can't wait to see what is in store for tomorrow.

(I know this is a little late, but I didn't have much of a chance to share graduation photos.)

The day has finally come.  I'm a high school graduate.

The air was filled with excitement as my class got dressed in our long blue robes together in the choir room at the back end of the church.  The red and blue tassle tickled my cheek as my friends and I hugged and chattered eagerly and shared stories with each other. 

We walked into the sanctuary of the church to the famous graduation tune, smiling widely and waving at our families.  Zeek was salutatorian, Drey was valedictorian, and Andy Braner was our guest speaker.  The service was great.

We all were given puzzle pieces to hand our superintendent as a joke as we received our diplomas.  By the end of the night, he had forty-four puzzle pieces to represent our class.

After we all received our diplomas and moved our tassles to the left, we left the room together.  It was over.

In the hallways were our senior tables, blanketed in childhood photographs and memories.  My mom made my senior table as a surprise and I loved it.  It was everything I could have wanted, with some pictures of me and my loved ones, the copies of my two books, my scrapbook, and more.  Draped over the table as a table cloth was a quilt made of my high school t-shirts.

So many wonderful family and friends came to visit me and offer congratulations.  It was so special.  My pastor came and so did several family friends.  It just light up my whole day to see that they had come to support me.  My family also came.  It was so nice to get to hug on them and feel like I was truly, truly loved and supported.

My friends and I hugged and said our goodbyes.  Normally, saying goodbye wouldn't matter at all.  I mean, we'll be hanging out nearly every day over the summer, so there isn't a whole lot to be sad about.  But since I was leaving on the cruise the next day, the goodbyes were genuinely sad.  It was going to be nearly two weeks since we would get to see each other again.

After leaving the church, my family and I went to one of my favorite restaurants, where I opened some of my presents and ate some wonderful Mexican food. 

Overall, the night was a great success.

I'm no longer in high school.

When you're a senior in high school, teachers often seem to feel at a loss of what to teach by the end of the year.  At times, the faculty seems desperate to find SOMETHING for us to do.  We don't take the TAKS test at my high school because we're a private school.  Instead, we take the SAT--not the one that everyone studies so much for--but rather an SAT that simply marks how much we've been learning in our classes.  It doesn't have anything to do with whether or not we pass onto the next grade.  It doesn't affect us in any way, actually.  I know some kids who sit and doodle pictures in the little answer bubbles and don't read a single question.  It's a long test, so it lasts three or four days.  The seniors don't have to take the SAT, so our teachers had to take us somewhere else on a field trip.

So they sent us to Walmart.

I'm not kidding.  For two days in a row, we met at grocery stores and were told to gather with our groups of friends and compile a "shopping list" like we would when we were living on our own.  We didn't have a price budget.  I don't think our list was ever graded.  Basically, we were given an assignment so we would have SOMETHING to do.  Trust me--I'm not complaining.  Those days were fun.  But they did seem a little... strange.

After Walmart, we all went bowling together.  This was the best part of the day by far.  We wore our crazy-colored bowling shoes and laughed at each other under the black lights before bowling terribly... with only one bumper.  Why the people working at the bowling alley gave us only one bumper, I'll probably never know.

Some parents may have been annoyed that their kids weren't being forced to take the SAT test or do other assignments.  We were still in high school, so perhaps we should have been given assignments every day... right?  I don't know how many days we should a ctually be forced to learn things during our high school career.  I'm probably pretty biased.  All I know is that the week we went on field trips--to Walmart and bowling and a stockyard and a slaughterhouse and a park--made me think to back when I was a member of the swim team during my freshman year of high school.  Random, I know, but let me go on.

During practice, our coach would have us try to swim to one end of the lap pool and back without taking a breath.  That exercise was always incredibly difficult for me.  I would move my arms and legs frantically, trying as hard as I could to succeed.  By the time I finished, my lungs felt like they were near exploding, blood pounded in my head, and my limbs felt like rubber.  The moment I lifted my head above water and sucked in the fresh air, relief swept through my body like a cool wave.  Air... ahh...  After all that hard work, I could finally breathe again.  I could tangibly feel the strength coming back into my body as I sucked in those first few breaths.

Sometimes high school seemed like I was swimming underwater, pushing desperately for the finish line.  I had assignments and exams and essays to write.  The stress and pressure pounded in my head until I was exhausted.

A field trip to Walmart and bowling with my friends made me feel like I was allowed to finally come up for air.  During school hours, we could be kids again.  We could smile and laugh and have a wonderful time together as friends. 

Did we learn a lot that week?  No, not necessarily.  But we relaxed.  At times, after my moments of calm and relaxation, I felt like I could return to real school with new strength and vigor.  I'll miss days like those.

It's been a long day.  As celebration for my graduation, we are leaving for a Caribbean cruise.  The cruise isn't until tomorrow, which is a good thing, because it's a fairly long distance from Texas to Florida.  Thankfully, we didn't have to drive anywhere.  All I've seen today are airports and airplanes.  It's been fun, but it's also been tiring.

We got up early this morning and finished the remainder of our packing before (almost tearfully) saying goodbye to our dogs.  It'll be eleven days before we get to see them again. 

As we loaded everything into the back of our van, I was scared I would forget something important.  After all, if I'm on a ship in the middle of the ocean, it may be difficult to get what I need.  Dad reassured me, however, saying, "The ship will be like a small city.  It'll have everything we need."

We finally left our home and went to Nawnie's house.  I'm sure I've talked about Nawnie on my blog before, but she is my very cute, very sweet, seventy-eight-year-old grandmother.  Nawnie agreed to come with us on the cruise this summer.  We helped her load up all of her bags--and she had probably double the amount of all of us together, including a walker--and then stuffed ourselves into our very, very full mini-van.

The drive to the airport seemed to take forever, since we were crammed into such a small space.  But it was entertaining, so we laughed for most of the time.

The plane rides were quick, but the layovers seemed to take forever.  We went from my small Texas city to Dallas and then to San Antonio, where we stopped and ate lunch from a sandwich place called Blimpie.  I have no idea why any "health food" restaurant would call itself Blimpie, but oh well.  From San Antonio, we left for Orlando... but then had to stop halfway in New Orleans to fuel up.  According to our flight attendant, it was because: "This plane is packed full of people who decided to bring everything they owned with them."

We arrived in Orlando about two hours later than we were planning, but it was okay.  We didn't have anything planned for tonight anyways.  Tomorrow is when the fun will start.  Where I live, there is absolutely no humidity, so the second we stepped out of the airport, it was like we were dumped into a sauna.  I could literally taste the air, which is an unusual experience for me.  But I love it.  I absolutely love heat and humidity since I'm so cold-natured.

We finally arrived at our hotel--the Hawthorne--with our huge cart of bags.  We had eight suitcases, around ten carry-ons, and a walker.  The rack was nearly full to the top.  My eleven-year-old brother Luke decided to step up, be a manly man, and take control of the heavy cart.

I'm writing this from our hotel room now.  Honestly, I'm not all that impressed.  This hotel is located very close to the airport, which is why we chose this place, but it isn't very nice.  It makes me feel even more excited about our cruise.  I'm ready for some luxury! ;)  But believe me when I say that on each bed, there are literally dips in the sagging mattress.  Kind of scary. 

Can you tell?

Anyways, it's been a long day.  I'm exhausted.  It's funny how I've done nothing today but sit around in airports and airplanes and yet I'm still very tired.  Tomorrow will be an exciting day.  I'll be sure to keep you guys posted. 

Shorter school days.

This isn't so much of a shock for those of you who are home schooled.  When I was home schooled, at times I'd be done with my school day at nine or ten in the morning.  But once I started school, I had to get used to eight hour days that seemed to drag on forever.  When I became a senior, I had finished most of my high school credits, meaning I had only four classes and got off at noon.  It was an absolutely wonderful feeling.

It was so strange to look around and realize that the underclassman had to stay in school for three and a half more hours than I did.  It was strange to see everyone else studying for classes I didn't have at all (like math and electives).  It was strange to see everyone hurrying to eat lunch in forty-five minutes, while I could take as long as I liked.

Believe me when I say that having a short day of school is wonderful.  It might feel weird at times, but it's absolutely wonderful.

Senioritis is REAL.

I used to always listen to the seniors above me talk about how they had senioritis "sooooooo bad" and I would chuckle to myself and think, "Come on... that's just an excuse."  But no.  Senioritis is real.

Right after Christmas, you start to get these feelings of: I don't belong here.  All of this is pointless.  I'm already accepted into college anyways.  Why learn any more of this nonsense?  Why come to school?  I NEED SUMMER!  It's not good.  It's apathetic.  But those are very real feelings.  It was a big struggle throughout my senior year to try to overcome that senioritis and continue to work hard at school.  But I'm happy to say that I graduated with straight As, even through my senior year.  Whew!

Teachers suddenly become much more lenient.

At my private school, all throughout high school, teachers were very personal in my life.  I'm someone who tries hard to make good grades, so if I started to slip, they would immediately pull me aside and talk to me about what was going wrong.  They'd push me when I struggled and try to give me harder and harder challenges.  Once I became a senior, I noticed that a lot of the teachers would say things like, "Here, you're graduating in a couple of months, so just write me a quick paper" or "You can talk during class today. You're seniors, after all.  Have fun." 

I think this occurs for three reasons. 

One, I think teachers start to feel like they can't teach a whole lot in a couple of months anyways... at least not much that will be remembered.  This happens especially towards the end of the year.  They've already gone through a lot of the books.  We all are suffering from severe cases of senioritis.  It can be difficult to think of things to teach.

Two, I think the teachers WANT us to have fun.  This was our last year of high school.  You're only a senior in high school once.  Ever.  I could tell that teachers would go out of their way at times to make sure we were making great memories.  I'm truly grateful for that.

Three, I think everyone expects seniors to be difficult.  "They're seniors" is a typical excuse I've heard.  Seniors tend to be restless, easily distracted, and full of laughter and jokes.  We're excited for the new year.  I'm afraid that sometimes, adults use the fact that it's our last year as an excuse to be more lenient.

Emotions change on a daily basis.

I know I've written about this before, but being a senior truly is an emotional roller coaster ride.  One day, I'm on a severe high of joy and excitement.  The next, I'm scared out of my mind.  And the day after that, I'm sad and tearful because I don't want to move away from everybody I love.  There is a lot of change and anticipation of change your senior year.  It can be difficult to understand and control everything you're feeling.

Perhaps my experience was a little different than others because I went through a few extra trials and changes this last year.  I honestly believe the Lord was testing me and helping me to grow and mature so I would better be able to face the challenges I know are ahead of me my freshman year of college.  I'm truly thankful for the trials I've had so far this year.

Suddenly everyone is friends.

Especially in early high school, everyone often splits into cliques.  You have the mean girls and your enemies who you can't stand.  There are arguments and cat fights and a little drama, depending on how you handle conflict.  Senior year, it's like most of those conflicts are forgotten, especially towards the spring months. 

Everyone is "one class" and absolutely HAS to keep in touch next year and we all have the same fears in common.  I've noticed that towards the end of the year, everyone started going to lunch together and arranging pranks and nights of fun together and just making memories together as a class. 

Even if you don't know someone very well, when graduation is looming near, it seems like everyone clings to each other, desperate to make friendships during these last few months.

This has been an amazing weekend.  Nearly all of my extended family came from all over to celebrate my graduation.  My actual graduation ceremony is on May 27th, but today was the Baccalaureate, which is like a ceremony for the families.  I don't THINK I have any photos from the actual ceremony, unless my mom ended up taking some.  If I find them later, I may share a few with you guys on another entry.  I do have a video of my prayer, however, which I'll possibly share on my YouTube channel soon.  I gave the opening prayer because I was National Honor Society president this year and I was VERY nervous.

Yesterday, all of my family met at a restaurant and ate a lunch/dinner together.  It was great to see so many loved ones all in the same room.  I had a blast.  Outside of my immediate family, two grandpas, four grandmas, an aunt, two uncles, and two cousins showed up.  We all took pictures together, which I'm so glad to have.

Here are my four grandmas.  Yes, I get four because my family is crazy and complicated and wonderful. :)

God has blessed me with such a big and wonderful family. 

Today, we went to Baccalaureate.  At the end, the families of each senior come up to the front and pray over us.  My family gathered around me.  All the grandmas (and my mom) were crying.  It was so sweet.  My dad said a wonderful prayer that will stay in my heart forever.  And then it was over.  It was such a nice experience.  Honestly, I think I had the biggest number of family members out of anyone show up to Baccalaureate.  It was great.

Later today, we came to my house and had a party to celebrate my graduation.  So many amazing friends came.  The food was GREAT!  We had beef tenderloin, a huge fruit and veggie platter, chips, lemonade, tea, soft drinks, cupcakes, and a giant cake with the name of my school on the front.

Everyone decorated for the party, so the house looked super cute. :)

One of the funniest moments of the night was when my dad introduced one of my grandmas to our senior pastor (she actually goes to our church!) and she mistook him for a roof repairman, so when he greeted her, she responded, "It's so nice to meet you.  I'll be sure to give you a call the next time my roof starts leaking."  After a few moments of awkward silence, my dad said, "...what?  This is our pastor."  We all laughed and laughed and laughed.

So anyways, this is what has been going on in my life lately.  I don't know if any of you are interested in these things at all, but this is my blog and this is what is important in my life.  Starting in June, I'll get back to a more normal schedule.  I plan to begin my music artist reviews again, Jack pages, share a few more blogging tips, and I have a few devotion ideas in mind as well. :)  S if you don't like these journal-type posts, then I'm sorry.  I honestly am.  I just write about what's on my heart.  If you want me to continue with these kinds of posts, then please let me know and I might do more of these.

Oh, yes.  Look out during the next month or two for a blog giveaway that I have in the works right now.  I'll give you a hint.  Does anyone like Ted Dekker?

Hey, guys.  I'd like to let you know that I'm so sorry I've missed the last couple of days.  I have a LOT of family in town right now (and even staying at my house!).  I have Baccalaureate tomorrow at 2:30.  I got a job at a frozen yogurt place.  My life is just CRAZY with all of this graduation stuff.  I'm loving it, but blogging is getting a little hectic.  After today, everything should go back to normal with daily blogs.  Thank you so much for your patience with me this week. :)  I'll be sure to share Baccalaureate photos and pictures from my graduation party as soon as possible.

In the meantime, feel free to enjoy this entertaining picture of my grandpa and one of my best friends, Zeek.  They're both 6'6 and I'm 5'1.  In this picture, we're all standing normally. 

It's important to make some crazy memories if you're a senior in high school, but it's also important to make good memories no matter what stage you are in life.  Do things with your friends and loved ones that make you smile both in the moment and looking back. 

Here are some of the ways my friends and I have made crazy memories this year.

Citywide Scavenger Hunt
My friends and I did this for my birthday.  We made a list of challenges, like "serenading a stranger" and "trying on crazy clothes at Wal-Mart."  One of the challenges was even to kidnap a random person and take a picture of him/her tied up in the backseat!  Whoever could complete the challenges first won the scavenger hunt.  With everything we did, we had to take a picture or a video.  We had a blast.  Some of my favorite memories from this year are from that night.
Service Projects
Serve others with your friends.  This may seem like a lame idea, but it will give you that "feel good" feeling and you'll be helping others.  Serve food at a soup kitchen or go visit people at a nursing home.  If you serve people with a group of friends, you'll manage to have a great time and help somebody out.

Canoeing
Personally, I'm terrified of water, but for my friend Rebecca's birthday, we went on a canoe ride around the creek behind her house.  If there's a lake or creek nearby, get a group of friends and go canoeing.  Be sure to take plenty of pictures.  And sing.  Everything's better with a good song. 

Corn Maze
Every year for the last four years, my friends and I have gone to a corn maze on Halloween.  It's a blast.  We're sure to go after dark and we always manage to get lost.  Take a picture with every marker to show how far you've come.  It's dark, spooky, and tons of fun.

Football Games
Go to a football game or two.  Football isn't a sport I necessarily enjoy watching, but when you're with a few friends, it can turn into something crazy fun. 

If you're a girl, have a crazy makeup night.
Get together for a night and celebrate being a girl.  Do each others' makeup... and be sure to do it badly on purpose.  Watch Disney movies, pig out on chocolate and ice cream... go absolutely crazy.

Start a prank war.
You may want to set some basic ground rules, like "don't do anything that will permanently damage someone's property" and etc, but a prank war can be the most hilarious way to make memories.  Divide your friends into two separate teams and go crazy.  Saran wrap each others' cars, toilet paper houses, fruit loop, fork, and the list goes on and on.  Get creative.

Prom
Again, this only works if you're a junior or senior in high school, but if you are, then get a group of friends to go to prom with you.  Agree to dance with everyone.  Have fun and enjoy the night.  Be sure to have a little party afterward to relax and make the night even more memorable.

Game Night
Have everyone bring a game, like Apples to Apples, Scribblish, and Twister.  If someone has a Wii, play games like Just Dance.  Be silly and have fun.

What are some crazy memories you've made with your friends?

A few weeks ago, Ali and Rebekah and I had gotten together to hang out.  It was pretty late at night, but it was warm outside... probably seventy degrees.  We debated watching an action movie or making a video, but then we decided to call up some friends to play cops and robbers in the park.  Last summer, we went out nearly every night, playing all sorts of games.  We'd run through sprinklers, take pictures, go star tipping, and roast marshmallows over campfires.  Those are some of the best summer memories of my life.  One of these nights was what we were aiming for.  Fun.  Laughter.  Amazing memories.

We weren't sure if we should leave Rebekah's house because it was Caleb's turn to prank us and it WAS a weekend, which is usually pranking time.  "Hey," I said after a moment of thought, "let's just invite Caleb to play cops and robbers with us.  It's better to have the enemy close by so we can keep an eye on him."  We called Caleb and agreed to meet at the park at eleven.

As we put on our all-black outfits (to blend in with the darkness) and running shoes, we briefly discussed bringing along some super soakers, just in case Caleb was planning to ambush us.  "Nah," everyone finally agreed.  Caleb wouldn't try to prank us.  Surely night.  On a game night, there are never pranks.  It's practically an unspoken law... or so we thought.

As we piled into my car and drove to the park, I began to feel a little uneasy.  We began to walk the long trek from the road to the playground, making out the two silhouettes of Caleb and our mutual friend Joel.  They sat quietly on a picnic table, waiting for us.  When we came nearer, perhaps twenty yards away from the shadowy playground, multiple forms lunged from the darkness, headed straight towards us.  Rebekah, Ali, and I shrieked and tried to run from the group, but there were too many.

We had been ambushed.

They were holding cans and fist-fulls of shaving cream.  Since Rebekah had knee surgery over Christmas, she couldn't run very well, so she was soon covered in shaving cream.  I was sprayed too, but I headed for my car because I knew it was the next target.  I managed to speed away before it was TOO covered with shaving cream.  I attempted to drive by a few times to try to get Rebekah and Ali to leap in, but they were too far away.  They were drenched in shaving cream already anyways.  There was no point in running.  All that was left was to fight back.

I parked my car in a hidden spot and walked back to the park.  I laughed when I realized that the prank had become a prank on EVERYONE.  Even the prankers were absolutely covered in shaving cream.  Everyone had turned on each other.

The moments after that were filled with hysterical laughter and fun.  After fifteen minutes, we all ahd shaving cream on our faces and clothes and hair.  But it was wonderfully fun.

We piled into the back of a friend's truck and drove to Rebekah's house, where we all washed off the shaving cream with wet towels and then hosed off my car.  Another funny thing was that their truck soon was covered in shaving cream, perhaps even more than my "pranked" car was.  Their prank had somewhat backfired on them, but not necessarily in a disappointing way.  By the end of the night, huge smiles decorated all of our faces.

And you know, even though Rebekah, Ali, and I were the ones who were ambushed, we still had a blast.  I have to give kudos to Caleb.  It was a great prank.  He "got" us, yes, but we all managed to make wonderful memories in the process.  We had an amazingly fun summer night before summer even truly began.

So there's one point for Caleb.

At first, Rebekah, Ali, and I were concerned that Caleb was winning.  After all, he's gotten us twice now.  But no worries.  We did a tally and happily discovered that we're still in the lead.

And it's our turn to prank next.

The last week of school is always the worst and best week of the whole year.  It's the best week because since it's the last one, the teachers don't bother to give any assignments, the rules are usually relaxed, and everybody is feeling happy and excited.  It's the worst week because it seems to drag on FOREVER.  Since there is nothing to do throughout the day, class time seems to drag on and on and on.

This is my last week of school.  That would normally be exciting enough in itself... but even better, this is my last week of high school.  Period.  No more twelfth grade, sure, but no more high school is even crazier.  I am stoked and a little sad at the same time.  After this week, I won't be in high school anymore!  My biggest solace is the fact that I won't technically have graduated until May 27, so technically I have a little time left to call myself a high school student.

This week has most definitely been exciting.  There is a tangible buzz whenever you're around any of the sneiors.  Our last week.  Our last week.  No more high school.  We're done.  We're done.  It's like we're all silently singing the same song.

The seniors get out a week before anyone else, so the rest of the school doesn't have the same level of excitement as we do.  I feel bad for the teachers, in a way.  They have to deal with our excied chatter, our restlessness, and our lack of concentration.  Believe me, when there are only three days left of your high school career, it's pretty difficult to pay attention to any lecture or assignment.  I think the teachers gave up on their lesson plans two weeks ago.

But hey.  We're graduating.  There is reason for excitement.

Several exciting things have happened this week, making everything even better.  I got my LASIK eye surgery last Thursday, so I can see everything now.  I don't have to worry about glasses anymore.  I feel like a Bible character, healed by Jesus.  I can see!  I can see!  That fact alone has brightened my entire week.

My friend Zeek's eighteenth birthday was yesterday, so a big group of us went out to celebrate with him.  It was so much fun to spend time together and enjoy each other's company.

On Thursday, my environmental science class will be going on a field trip to a local canyon.  We'll hike, soak in the sun, and have a good time outside.  I'll be sure to share pictures with you all. 

Friday will be our last day, so I'm sure there will be plenty of excitement, silliness, and tears.

This has been one of the strangest weeks of school for me, simply because whenever I look around, I can't help but think: This is all about to end.  I won't walk down these halls anymore.  I won't see these people anymore.  I won't be a high school student anymore (which may not be all that bad).  This is about to be over.

It's only Wednesday, so I still have tomorrow and Friday, but the feeling is already there.

Half of me wants to shout, "Why am I still here?  I'm about to GRADUATE.  We're sitting around doing nothing!  Why can't I just stay home or go out with friends?!"

But then again, I'm glad they're making us come to school this week.  It's our last week.  Ever.  It may be boring at times.  It may seem to drag on forever.  But we're sitting in class for a few hours each day, hugging and talking and taking pictures.  Each moment left at school is time we're spending together as a class.  We won't get that anymore after this month.  I might as well enjoy the time I have left.

Although, when it finally ends, I'll probably be cheering. ;)

PS: I know I'm sharing a lot of ramblings about graduation and stuff right now, but once the month is over, I'll be done with all that.  This is just seriously what's on my mind and my blog is the best place to share my thoughts. :)

Beware.  Today I'm writing about romance.

I decided at the beginning of my senior year that I would not begin a romantic relationship until I went to college.  This might seem extreme to some, but there are reasons behind my decision.  I thought I'd go ahead and share my logic.  Here are a few reasons why I decided not to date my senior year.

The older I get, the more serious my relationships can become.
Since I'm eighteen, I'm technically old enough to get married.  I'm nearly ready to date "for real."  Sometime within the next couple of years, I might even meet the guy I'll end up marrying.  Even if I casually date a couple of the guys at my school or my church- because we're getting older and more mature- our fun and casual dates could turn into something more.  At this point in my life I'd like to branch out a little and meet my future spouse somewhere other than the place I've grown up.

I'm moving away soon.
Why would I even want to suffer the heartache of having to move several cities away from my boyfriend?  We're seniors.  Chances are, we'd probably attend different universities.  (And I most definitely do not want to feel pressured into attending the same university as my boyfriend just because I don't want to leave him.)  Starting college is going to be hard enough without having to try to keep up with a long distance relationship.  Plus, I'd like to enjoy being single on the college campus.  I'd like to go on dates and meet new guys.  I don't want to be held back by a guy I started dating in high school.

I want to focus on more important relationships in my life.
Right now, I don't want to keep up with the emotional roller coaster of a romantic relationship my senior year.  I'm about to move away from my family and friends.  Instead of worrying about going on dates and keeping a boyfriend happy, I'd much rather go on dates with my daddy or have a girls night out with my best friends.  I don't want to look back in a few years and think, "I wish I'd spent more time with my family instead of that guy who broke up with me three months after we started college."  There are more important relationships in my life right now and I'd like them to stay at the top of my priorities.

I need to spend more time working on my relationship with Jesus Christ.
I know my faith will be tested when I go to college, so I'd like to spend more time focusing on my relationship with the Lord.  If I'm busy with my senior year, spending time with my family and friends, and keeping up with a boyfriend, then I might lose focus on the One who matters most of all.

So that's why I've chosen not to date my senior year of high school.  Dating is fun, sure.  However, in my life right now, the emotional stress just isn't worth it.  I can wait.  You know, I don't think God has planned for me to find my future husband in my hometown.  I know I'll find him eventually, but I don't think it will be here.

The song "Wait" by Group 1 Crew just came into my head.

Lately I've been trying to memorize my high school.  That might sound strange, but since I'm going to leave soon, I want to start memorizing the things I know will slip my mind later on.  There are little things- little details- that don't even cross my mind now, but they are so small I know I'll forget them later.

I don't want to forget.

The way the windows of the front office are blanketed in paintings from art class.  You can always tell which students are artistically gifted from those paintings.  There have been many groans of embarrassment, mine included, as we've walked through the lobby and caught a glimpse of a familiar- and ghastly- painting.  The way the library is full of old and musty books with titles like And the Angels Were Silent and Surprised by the Power of the Spirit.  The way the halls become almost painfully crowded when all of the classes are let out at once.  A hundred and fifty people aren't meant to squeeze together in a hallway that's less than five feet wide.

I don't want to look back in a few years and not be able to remember where I spent four years of my life.  My high school is where I've spent the vast majority of my time.  Sure, bad memories have taken place within these walls, but they've mostly been happy.  I've experienced joy here, amidst all of the typical high school boredom and stress.

I made some of my best friends in the entire world at my high school.  My teachers have shown that they honestly care whether or not I'm having a difficult time at home or if I don't do my best on a paper.  After Gatlin died, there were teachers who frequently checked up on me to make sure I was okay.  When we watched "Romeo and Juliet," I was actually sent to another classroom so I wouldn't have to watch the suicides.  My school has been great.  I have seen Christ through my teachers, principals, and friends.  I couldn't have asked for anything more out of my high school years. 

You'd think some things I wouldn't mind forgetting, like the cheesy fake plants that decorate the shelves on the library walls (I'm looking at them right now) or the gaudy yellow tiles on the bathroom floor... or even the old locker room at the gym.  Ancient lockers, creaky toilets, awkward memories.  Yeah, those things don't always bring a grin to my face, but I don't want to forget them.  I never want to forget.

I'm sitting in my high school library as I write this, realizing with a touch of horror that I can easily count the number of days I have left to spend in this room.  At times, I feel like celebrating.  "No more school!  No more hours spent in this library, typing on these senile computers!  No more boredom!  No more waking up early!  No more!  No more!"  But it's sad.  A chapter of my life is closing forever.

So in a way, I will miss the fluorescent lights that are glaring down on me right now.  I'll miss the saggy, half-empty beanbags that have served as a bed when I come to school and nap for an hour (I have a free period every day).  I'll miss the old clock that has hung crooked on the wall for as long as I can remember.  I'll miss the out of place 4th of July decorations and the pumpkin-shaped pots of peppermints and jolly ranchers.  I'll miss the bright yellow trashcan.  I'll miss the stacks of musty, aging books.  I'll miss just being here.

On the last day of school, I'll probably feel sad.  I'll know that there will be no more time spent bantering with teachers, whispering in the bathroom with Ali to avoid having to go back to class, trying to write under the curious stares of my classmates (I hate writing when people watch me), and opening my familiar old locker every day.  Number 33, the one with the taped smiley face on the front.  I'm not the one who put the face there, but I've never had the heart to remove it.

I haven't said goodbye yet.  Not for good.  But I know the goodbyes are coming.  I can feel them already.

I know one day I'll miss these times, so I'm trying to memorize everything while I can.  Every corner, every quirky wall decoration, every scuff on the walls, every near-forgotten memory sparked by a crooked poster or a dented locker.  I want to remember every detail.

I will not forget.
  

Thank you all for your prayers, guys.  I got through my surgery great and I thought I'd go ahead and share my Lasik story.  Please mind any spelling errors because my eyes aren't completely clear yet.  I'm wearing an awful pair of eye shields with tape across my field of vision... and it's only been ten hours since my surgery (as I write this).  So please bear with me!  If you want a laugh, I'll go ahead and share that I'm typing this entry in a big font so I can read what I'm writing better. :)

Here is one of the last images you'll ever see of me in my glasses.  This is incredibly exciting for me, since I've become so sick of them lately.  I loved my contacts, but since I've become allergic to them, I've had to wear my glasses every single day for the past several months.  It can get quite frustrating.

As soon as I arrived at the eye clinic, I went to the front desk and they gave me a Valium.  I've never taken Valium before, so I was expecting to become entirely loopy, but it didn't affect me a whole lot... well, at least I don't think it did.

After I took the meds, I was led into a waiting room with a few other people.  We had to wipe off our faces, put our hair in white caps and our feet in little slippers.  I waited for a little while and then was taken into the operating room and told to lay down on a gurney-like bed.  They put a thing under my knees to hold my legs still and they put my head onto a circular rest.  One nurse held my hands and one helped to hold my head completely still.  (I was trembling like a leaf at this point.)

The entire operation lasted only about six minutes--three minutes for each eye.  It was basically painless.  I had some mild pinching with one of the clamps, but that was bearable.  Pretty much, all I had to do was stare at a green light for a few minutes while they did nerve-wracking things to my eyeball.

From what they tell me, they suctioned my eye to keep it still, cut a flap in the middle of my eye and pulled it backwards like a hinge, and then used a laser to fix my vision.  After that, they put the flap back down, rinsed my eye with cold saline water, and sponged it down. 

After I was done with the surgery, they put me in a wheelchair, which I found funny at the time because my eyes were operated on, not my legs... and I could see fairly well.  However, the medication did make me a little dizzy, so after I tried to walk later on, I realized why they made me ride in a wheelchair.

They brought me into a post-op room and put terribly ugly shields over my eyes, taping them shut.  And then I was done.  I wasn't at the clinic for more than an hour.  Awesome, right?

Here is a picture of me with my ugly, ugly eye shields. ;)

Since I had to stay awake for six hours during the procedure, the amazing Rebekah came over and brought me a Starbucks vanilla frap and played Wii with me for a couple of hours.  She even had to take senior pictures this afternoon, but she still took time out of her day to play with me.  Something funny... I totally destroyed her at Wii, even though I was half blind.  We laughed and laughed.

The day is finally almost over.  I'm going to bed right after I finish this blog post, which I'll share with you guys tomorrow morning.  I started out seeing everything like I was in a fog... I guess because my eyes were so inflamed.  I can see a lot better now.  I was even able to watch a movie--Princess Diaries--with Ali when she came home.  I can't wait to hopefully see 20/20 tomorrow morning.

Random note... I got the hiccups four times today.  Does anyone know what causes something like that?  Nervousness, perhaps?  I don't know.

I have a few continuing prayer requests.  Thank you so, so, so much to those of you who have been keeping me in your prayers. 

One, that my eyes will heal and not have any complications. 

Two, that I now have 20/20 vision so I won't have to get an enhancement and go through all of this again.

Thanks so much, you guys.  Your prayers have meant so much to me.  I have an appointment at eight tomorrow morning, so I'll continue to keep you all updated.

Hey, guys.  I'd like to share a prayer request with all of you.

This morning I'm getting Lasik eye surgery at 11:00 Central time.  I'm very nervous, as some of you might remember from this post. Eye doctors just aren't my thing, so I've been anticipating today with a lot of fear and anxiety.  I feel some peace about this, but I'm still scared.  Having my eyes operated on is still scary. 

But I know it will be okay.  God IS with me.

For the fun of it, I'll show you an unedited picture of my eye to your left.

Some of my friends have stepped up and done sweet, sweet things for me.  Yesterday, one of my close friends called me on the phone and said, "Emily, can I pray over you?"  So right there over the phone, I closed my eyes and was able to hear the reassuring prayer of a good friend.  How comforting.  Her prayer was so sweet, it nearly brought tears to my eyes.  I have such good friends.

Another friend texted me and said that she'd been thinking and perhaps for a day I'll have the opportunity to walk by faith and not by sight.  Her perspective gave me a good laugh.  Very true! 

Rebekah will be coming over this afternoon to keep me company.  I'll be given some Valium to help keep me calm and still through the surgery this morning, but I'm going to have to stay awake for six hours afterwards.  Since Valium will make me sleepy, this might be difficult, so it'll be very nice to have a good friend come over to entertain me.  I wouldn't allow just any friend to come over!  After all, I won't be able to see well, I'll be wearing a dorky eye shield (I may post pictures later), and my eyes will probably be puffy and red.  Yikes!

And finally, Ali will also be here to entertain me this afternoon.  So long as I'm able to have fun through the sleepiness and discomfort, this afternoon should be a blast!

And on the brighter side, as soon as I recover from this, it will be so worth it!  I'll be able to SEE without glasses or contacts.  I'll have great vision with my own eyes.  What a miracle!

Here are some specific prayer requests for you to pray for. (All times are in Central).

9:00-11:00 -- That I will not feel too much anxiety as I anticipate this surgery.  That I will feel God's peace and no longer be afraid.

11:00-2:00 -- (I'm not actually sure when I'll be entirely done.)  This whole procedure lasts only ten minutes, but I'll have to take some meds and have them do preliminary stuff, so I don't know.  Anyways, during this time frame, please pray that I will be able to control my fears and stay strong for the surgery, since I'll be awake.  Please pray over the hands of the doctor, since he'll be operating on something as delicate as my eyeball.

2:00-all night -- That I won't be in much discomfort or pain.  They told me I may have a sensation of burning or like sand has gotten caught in my eyes, which scares me.  My eyes are so sensitive.  Please pray that the discomfort will be minimal, if possible.  Also, please pray that I'll be able to easily stay awake!

Tomorrow morning -- I'll be arriving back at the clinic for them to do a check up on the progress of my eyes.  I should be able to see fine tomorrow.  Please pray that everything will have worked out great and that my eyes will be fine overnight.

Thank you so much for the prayers, guys.  I feel so, so comforted and encouraged when I know there are people praying for me.  This is a scary day for me, but I know God IS here.  God WILL be holding my hand.  He is with me, so I will try my best to be strong.

Day 30: Share your testimony.

Aww, the blog challenge is over after today.  Sad, isn't it? 

I've already shared my testimony on my blog before, but I thought I would copy/paste from the last one and just add a little more about some of the things I brushed over.  Sound good?  Good.

Here we go.

-----------

I grew up in a Christian home.  Some of my earliest memories are of Sunday School and AWANAS.  When I was younger, I thought the faith of my parents could get me to heaven.  I didn't bother to believe for myself when my family could believe for me.  I accepted my parents' faith without question.

When I was eight years old, the Twin Towers were attacked.  This tragedy shattered my young mind to pieces.  I was a little girl who did not understand why the same bad men who killed so many people in New York wouldn't come to my town in Texas and hurt me too.  I began to suffer from severe anxiety, depression, and panic attacks.  I wouldn't eat or drink without being forced.  I wouldn't go outside and play with my friends.  I couldn't bring myself to cross the street to get the mail in the good neighborhood where I lived.  I couldn't sleep at night. 

My panic attacks would cause me to be nearly unable to breathe.  My heart would race in my chest, skipping like a rabbit.  One severe panic attack even sent me to the emergency room... at nine years old.  I was a little girl who suffered with big issues, and my parents were at a loss of what to do.  My mom began to get up thirty minutes earlier than the rest of the family to pray that God would save me from my fears.

The day before my tenth birthday, I was reading a book called "Left Behind" by Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins.  The book was about the rapture and everything involving that subject.  I began to think about what it would be like if Jesus came and took all of the Christians up to heaven and left everyone else behind.  I knew I would be the only one out of most of my family and friends who would be left.  I would be alone.  This frightened me to the core.  I finally realized that I could not rely on my parents to believe in Jesus for me anymore.  I had to shoulder my own faith and believe in the Lord because I knew it was true.

I got on my knees right where I was and told Jesus that I was a sinner, I believed that He died on the cross for my sins, and I accepted Him as my Savior and my God.

Almost immediately, there was a change in my life.  I was transformed.  The panic attacks went away almost entirely.  I could sleep through the night without fear.  I was able to travel the world without my parents.  I could finally smile again.

I was around eleven or twelve years old when things began to change.  I've always felt a huge empathy for those lost in poverty.  I began to wonder, "If God really does love everyone, then why does He let so many kids starve to death every day?  He can't love us."  And I started to doubt.  Doubt, if not put in check, can spread like a wildfire.  I soon began to dismiss God completely.  I openly denied to my friends that He even existed... and if He did, I thought He surely must hate the world.

Depression and feelings of worthlessness hit me hard after I dismissed my faith.  I felt stupid, ugly, and unlovable.  I was more depressed than I had ever been before.  I began to cut myself... occasionally at first, but then it became a dangerous addiction and an outlet for me to release my anger and sadness and pent up emotions that I would never let anyone else see.  I wanted to hurt.  I felt like I deserved the pain I caused myself.  Soon, I was out of control, hurting myself frequently without telling a soul for a long time.  When I finally told a couple of my friends, they were too young to understand the true impact of what I was doing to myself. 

When I was thirteen, I attempted suicide and failed.

My parents found out about my self injury and obviously panicked.  They were once again at a loss of what to do.  I was depressed, miserable, and I put a wall up against everyone around me.

The summer before my freshman year of high school, I made a 'deal' with God.  I basically said, "God, if You exist, then I want You to show me a sign.  Prove that You can work through me.  Prove You exist.  If You don't, I'm going to kill myself (and make sure it works this time) before school starts back in August.  If You give me reasonable proof that You can work in my life, then I'll give my life to You.  You can have it.  I don't want it anymore."  I thought my promise was an easy way out of my problems.  I could justify my suicide by blaming God's lack of presence in my life.  It seemed perfect. 

That summer, my parents sent me to a nine day training program that teaches teens how to witness to kids.  I was mortified.  I didn't want to share my so-called faith in a God I hardly even believed in.  I wasn't allowed to quit the program, so I simply shut down.  On the fourth day, they took me and some of the other teens to a park to witness to random people.  I had to share my 'faith' with a nineteen-year-old girl.  I spoke in a fairly monotone voice, inwardly begging the girl to ignore my words.  The girl was quiet and shy, but she accepted Christ that day, explaining that she had just graduated from high school and received a Bible for graduation.  She hadn't known what to do with it until I came along and explained to her what it truly meant.

This crushed me.  I went home that night and cried because I realized that God had used me, even though I was fighting against Him with all of my might.  He still used me to further His kingdom.

I went to Mexico City on a mission trip soon after.  I was able to see poverty, serve the needy, and witness to the lost through an interpreter.  I went to Angel Tree Camp and shared a cabin with several young girls whose parents were incarcerated.  Most of these girls had been abused and neglected throughout their lives and a few of them accepted Christ that week.

By the end of the summer, I was able to lead more than thirty people to the Lord.  Me: a young, timid girl with wavering faith.  There was no denying that God had worked through me.  I had my end of the deal to keep.  My life was His.  Suicide was no longer an option.

The year after I made my 'deal' with God, a friend of mine named Gatlin committed suicide.  I'd talked to him the night before and had no idea about the decision he was going to make.  Gatlin's death was devastating.  For months, I battled with God.  "I gave You my life.  I thought You could take control and keep me safe... but look at what's happened.  I'm grieving harder than I've ever grieved before.  You're doing a terrible job of taking care of me!"  To be honest, I was furious with God.  I felt like He allowed Gatlin to die out of some sort of cruel vengeance for the things I had done.  I nearly relapsed into self injury and agnosticism, but somehow, I decided to wait.  I had so strongly felt God's presence over the previous summer.  I knew He had to be there somewhere.

The first time I felt God's presence after Gatlin's death was only a couple of weeks later when I opened my Bible for the first time.  I didn't know where to turn, so I let the Bible fall open.  Psalm 77:19 was what caught my eye.  It was an obscure verse.  I'd never paid much attention to its words before, but this time, they blazed through my mind.

Psalm 77:19 helped me realize that even though I couldn't see God anywhere in the chaos after Gatlin's death, He was still there.  My grief and guilt had become as strong as an ocean, crashing over my head until I felt like I was nearly drowning.  However, God's footprints were silently moving through every moment in my life.  God was softly but surely healing my wounds and bringing my head above water.  I wasn't going to drown.  He was there, even if I couldn't see Him.

Although the thought of Gatlin's death still makes my heart ache, that tragedy in my life has helped me learn to hold onto the Lord when I'm breaking.  He's the only One who can hold the pieces of my broken heart in His hands and gently piece them back together.  He's always here for me.

I'm eighteen years old now and about to graduate from high school.  I have no doubt that God has worked in my life.  I'm still growing in Him every day.  There are still difficult times I have to struggle through, but Jesus has held my hand through each trial.  Hard situations that would have broken my faith a few years ago now strengthen my relationship with the Lord.  I haven't cut since May 12, 2007.  I'm not depressed.  I have a joy and a hope inside of me that is indescribable.  You can't know how that feels unless you have it for yourself.

I want to allow Jesus to control my life now because He is so much wiser than I am.  Believe me, I've tried to run my life on my own.  It never works.  I am so glad I made the decision to keep my life.  I've been able to do and experience so many things that I never would have imagined four years ago.  I've gone to Africa, mentored young girls who have problems with self injury and depression, wrote music, made many new friends, wrote a book, and gotten the experience of sharing my home with my amazing and beautiful best friend.

A big and exciting future is ahead of me.  I'm going to move out and go to college in a few months.  I can't wait to see what God has in store for me this time.  If He's gotten me through the sorrows in my life so far, I know He can get me through the transition into a university.  His footprints are still in my life, even on the days when I can't see Him.  I can already sense the adventures ahead, and you know... I can't wait.

I've never been happier.  And it's not just happiness that I feel.  It's joy. 
 

Day 29: At this time in your life, do you think you are fulfilling God's plans for you?

I want to say without a doubt, "Heck yeah, I am," but inside, I know I could always be doing more.  More for His kingdom, more for the hungry kids in the world, more for the young girls out there who are constantly living with depression and fear.  I could be doing so much more for Him.

I often live my life as if everything revolves around me.  I hole up in my room for a day or two, refusing to accomplish much of anything, because I'm feeling tired.  I spend five dollars at Starbucks because I'm craving something sweet when five dollars is a week's paycheck for my sponsored child's family.  I don't share my faith with someone in my life, even though I feel led to do so, because I'm afraid of being rejected.  I don't make a big sacrifice because I might be made uncomfortable.

Have you ever done the same thing?

I must continue to remind myself that the world does not revolve around me.  Nothing should revolve around me.  Everything should revolve around Him, and that means I need to make more sacrifices than I do.  I need to give more, love more, seek Him more.  I need to spend more time with the Lord.  I need to share my faith more than I am now.  I need to give more to the needy.  I need to love on the lonely.  I need to share my feelings with my loved ones.  I need to be more like Him.

Now, I don't think that I'm doing the opposite from what the Lord wants me to do.  I think I am moving at a steady pace towards becoming the person God wants me to be.  But I still need to grow.  I have a long ways to go before I become everything He wants me to be.

I'm reminded of the song Surrender by Barlowgirl. 


Look up the song.  It's amazing.

How would you answer this question? 

Day 28: If you could do one thing to make the world a better place, what would you do?

It depends on how big this one thing could be.  I wish I could end world hunger.  That's one thing, right?  But I know that's big.  That's huge.  Hunger and poverty are both issues that fill me with passion.  If I could do something huge to ensure that there would never be a starving child again, I would in a heartbeat.

If my one thing had to be smaller, I think I would write a book.  A very impacting book.  I've always wanted to be remembered through my writing, so writing a book that would touch many hearts would be something amazing for me.  Perhaps the "one" book would touch people's hearts and convince the world to turn around and provide hungry kids with food.  Perhaps the book would fill young girls struggling with depression and no self worth with hope. 

We can do anything with Christ's help.  One day I will write a book that touches hearts... and I can do more than that because I'm not limited to only one thing to make the world a better place.  We've been made to glorify God.  We can perform amazing things for Him.

John 14:12
"Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father."

We are meant for greatness.

How would you answer this question?

During my first three years of high school, I always used to perceive the seniors above me as being crazy.  Not the clinically insane kind of crazy, but rather living the ideal high school life: partying all night long, never doing homework, and always, always having a good time kind of crazy.  At least, it sure seemed that way.  No matter what time it was, whenever I saw the seniors, they were all smiling and laughing about something.  In class, in the halls, at lunch, at Bible study... the seniors always seemed to be having a crazy good time.

What an unbelievably exciting thing to anticipate for my senior year.

Even towards the end of my junior year, my friends and I would discuss how eager we were to become seniors.  "Now we're just going to be able to relax and have fun," we'd tell each other.  "I can't wait to become a senior and just go crazy!"  Even a mere four months away from being actual seniors, my friends and I had no idea.

Our perception of seniors was correct... in a way.  Do we act crazy?  Yes.  Definitely in the partying together kind of way, but perhaps a little in the clinically insane kind of way too.

My senior year has probably been the biggest emotional rollercoaster I've experienced since middle school (when everything was reason for drama) and most of my friends would probably agree with me.  Senior year has been crazy.  Sometimes in a good way and sometimes not.

I think everything I experience these days comes in extremes.  I'm either having a blast with friends while fighting shaving cream battles and prank wars and hosting movie nights... or I'm panicking about my future, wondering where on earth God wants me to go for college... or I'm terrified about leaving my family and friends and I feel both sad and scared at the same time.  Occasionally, I'll feel mellow, but even on those days, I seem to switch to the extreme.  "I don't care.  I just don't care.  Why do school work?  Why hang out?  Why do anything?  I think I'll just sleep for the rest of my life."  I think at times, there are so many confusing emotions and fears churning around in my head, it's hard to feel only one thing at once.

There is a peace that comes from the Lord, and when I'm as frantic as I so often am, it's very easily recognizable.  There is nothing more comforting than to be faced with a life-altering decision and then to feel a flood of peace fill my heart.  It helps me realize that God is there and taking care of me, even when I feel like I'm about to go insane.

I'm sure the seniors in my class seem just as crazy to all of the underclassmen as the previous seniors did to me.  You know, we are trying to make memories and leave a legacy behind us and enjoy the last few weeks we have with each other.  Imagine if you were told you had nine months left to live.  During those nine months, you'd try to enjoy yourself as much as possible, right?  On a lesser scale, we've been given nine months together as a class before we must go our separate ways... forever.  That leaves just a little bit of pressure.  If we want to have good memories, we've got to make them right now.

Honestly, I don't know one senior right now who isn't dealing with some tough issues.  Every single person in my close knit group of friends has struggled with something difficult this year.  Perhaps God is preparing us for our futures, which are sure to be filled with occasional trials.  Perhaps it's just a part of the stress that comes with entering a new chapter of our lives.

I've enjoyed my senior year of high school.  I truly have.  God has taught me so much during these stressful last months.  I know it has been good for me.  But I'm writing this to debunk the theory that all seniors are crazy.  ...Well, perhaps we are crazy, but it isn't always in the partying all day kind of way.  Half the time, we're crazy in the clinically insane kind of way.  It's tough to grow up.

But I wouldn't give up these moments for anything.

Which of you guys watched the royal wedding?  I did, and I'm not ashamed to admit it.  I'm not usually interested in that sort of thing, but I absolutely love the idea that a prince has married a commoner.  I love that.  It sure seems like the perfect fairytale, even though I know it's going to be tough for the newlyweds to have to survive in the public eye.

I wasn't planning to watch the wedding live.  It was 5am my time, so I sure didn't want to pull an all nighter (or wake up super early) on a school day to watch a royal wedding.  I'm not that excited.  However, it worked out for me to watch the thing live, so I saw part of it. 

At 4:57 yesterday morning, I was jerked awake by the howling and shrieking of what seemed to be a huge pack of coyotes.  If you've heard coyotes howl before, you know how utterly disturbing it is... especially when there are a lot of them.  The high-pitched shrieks seemed to surround my entire bedroom.  Honestly, those coyotes scared the living daylights out of me.  I'm reading "The Priest's Graveyard" by Ted Dekker right now... and I do not need to hear creepy sounds in the night!  Not now!

Anyways, the coyotes woke me up and I knew I'd be wired for a while, so when I glanced at the clock and realized the royal wedding was about to begin, I figured I'd watch it until I fell back asleep.  So I flipped open my laptop and watched the first half the wedding. 

Later on Friday, Rebekah hosted an absolutely wonderful tea party in celebration of the royal wedding.  It was so cute.

We drank tea and ate scones, chocolate covered strawberries, and all sorts of wonderful snacks.  Rebekah and her mom did an amazing job decorating and making sure that the tea party was legit and absolutely lovely.  They even provided everyone with their own plate, teacup, and princess tiara.  So sweet.

My favorite food item of the tea party was the sugar cubes Rebekah's mom made.  They were shaped like roses.  See for yourself.  I loved them!  I honestly had no idea that sugar cubes could be transformed into something so delicate and pretty. 

Everybody who came to the tea party dressed in sun dresses and wore our tiaras.  We enjoyed practicing proper etiquette by sticking up our pinkies, talking in fake English accents, and crossing our ankles in a ladylike fashion.  Of course, we aren't all that "proper," so we had a few misshaps... like Rebekah accidentally knocking over my teacup with her elbow, for example.  But it was all silly and lighthearted.

After we ate our scones and finger sandwiches and drank our tea, we sat down together and watched the royal wedding.  I think we enjoyed the crazy hats most of all.  Kate's dress was beautiful.

Overall, we had a wonderful time.  In thirty or forty years, if I'm still around, I'll be able to look back and clearly remember the royal wedding, just like my mom remembers the wedding of Charles and Diana.  Watching a royal wedding may seem trivial, but I'll always remember this day and this celebration with a smile because of the fun my friends and I had together. 

We celebrated being girls.  We dressed up, ate wonderful food, and enjoyed each other's company.  I couldn't ask for a better time than that.

So yes, even Texan girls celebrate the royal wedding.

Day 27: What do you like best about each member of your family?

Dad
I like my dad's sense of humor.  Even though sometimes he's embarrassing, he's funny and isn't afraid to be himself... around anyone.  A lot of people like my dad.  Just about wherever I go, someone asks me if I'm my dad's daughter.  They then proceed to go on and on and on about how much they love him and how funny he is.  "Punch your dad in for me.  Make sure your dad behaves.  Tell your dad I'll be thinking about him during the next Cowboys game.  Tell your dad I said hi."  I've heard these things hundreds of times.

But because of his popularity, my dad has been able to be a great witness and leader in our community.  There's something about him that makes people respect him.  It's a God-given gift.  I admire my dad a lot.

Mom
I like how my mom was made to be a mom.  She devotes everything in her life to her kids and has even become a mom of sorts to some of my friends.  She's loving and nurturing and often knows just what to say.

As I've grown older, Mom and I have become friends.  We spend a lot of time together and I've enjoyed that a lot.  I love to eat lunch with my mom and see a movie with her.  It's nice to spend time with my mom and have fun.  A lot of moms don't allow that kind of relationships to occur between them and their kids, but my mom does.  I'm so glad about that.

Amy
I like Amy's enthusiasm.  It doesn't matter what she's doing.  She'll give each task her all.  She has a passion for everything around her.  She has a passion for life. 

You can read Amy like a book.  When she is sad, she cries.  When she's happy, she laughs and becomes extremely excited.  When she's angry, she screams.  At times, this is a trait I don't like, but this can also be admirable.  Amy isn't fake.  I'm not sure if she knows how to be fake.  She's very sincere and passionate, no matter what she's doing.

Luke
I like Luke's sweet spirit.  Not many little 11-year-old brothers are as sweet as mine is.  As he's grown older, he sometimes tries to hide his sweet spirit behind a "cool" or tough guy exterior, but he can't hide it all the time.  I have so many sweet memories of Luke from when he was a little boy, like when he gave me a big hug after I dressed up to go to a school dance, saying, "You are beautiful."

When I'm sick, Luke often comes and gives me a hug, even if that isn't necessarily cool for a fifth grade kid to do.  A lot of my friends say they're jealous of such a cute little brother.  It's true... when it comes to little brothers, mine isn't that bad at all.

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What do you like best about your family?