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My Testimony

I grew up in a Christian home.  Some of my earliest memories are of Sunday School and AWANAS.  When I was younger, I thought that the faith of my parents could get me to heaven.  I didn't bother to believe for myself when my family could believe for me.  I accepted my parents' faith without question.

Me as a kidWhen I was eight years old, Twin Towers were attacked.  This tragedy shattered my young mind to pieces.  I was a little girl who did not understand why the same bad men who killed so many people in New York wouldn't come to my town in Texas and hurt me too.  I began to suffer from severe anxiety, depression, and panic attacks.  I wouldn't eat or drink without being forced.  I wouldn't go outside and play with my friends.  I couldn't bring myself to cross the street to get the mail in the good neighborhood where I lived.  I couldn't sleep at night.  My panic attacks would cause me to be nearly unable to breathe.  My heart would race in my chest, skipping like a rabbit.  One severe panic attack even sent me to the emergency room.  I was a little girl who suffered with big issues and my parents were at a loss of what to do.  My mom began getting up thirty minutes earlier than the rest of the family to pray that God would save me from my fears.

The day before my tenth birthday, I was reading a book called "Left Behind" by Tim LaHaye and Jerry B. Jenkins.  The book was about the rapture and everything involving that subject.  I began to think about what it would be like if Jesus came and took all of the Christians up to heaven and left everyone else behind.  I knew that I would be the only one out of most of my family and friends that would be left.  I would be alone.  This frightened me to the core.  I finally realized that I could not rely on my parents to believe in Jesus for me.  I had to shoulder my own faith and believe in the Lord because I knew it was true.

I got on my knees right where I was and told Jesus Christ that I was a sinner, I believed that He died on the cross for my sins, and I accepted Him as my Savior and as my God. 

Almost immediately, there was a change in my life.  I was transformed overnight.  The panic attacks went away.  I could sleep through the night without fear.  I was able to travel the world without my parents.  I could finally smile again.

Me as a middle schoolerI was around twelve years old when things began to change.  I've always felt a huge empathy for poverty and those in need.  I began to wonder, "If God really does love everyone, then why does He let so many kids starve to death every day?  He can't love us."  And I started to doubt.  Doubt, if not put in check, can easily spread like wildfire.  I soon began to dismiss God completely.  I openly denied to several of my friends that He even existed... and if He did, I thought that He surely must hate the world.

Depression and feelings of worthlessness hit me hard after I dismissed my faith.  I felt stupid, ugly, and unlovable.  I was more depressed than I had ever been before.  I began to cut myself... occasionally at first, but then it became a dangerous habit and an outlet for me to release my anger and sadness and pent up emotions that I would never let anyone else see.  I wanted to hurt.  I felt like I deserved the pain I caused myself. 

When I was thirteen, I attempted suicide and failed. 

My parents found out about my self injury and obviously panicked.  They were once again at a loss of what to do.  I was depressed, miserable, and I put a wall up against everyone around me. 

The summer before my freshman year of high school, I made a 'deal' with God.  I basically said,
"God, if You exist, then I want You to show me a sign.  Prove that You can work through me.  Prove that You exist.  If You don't, I'm going to kill myself (and make sure it works this time) before school starts in August.  If You give me reasonable proof that You can work in my life, then I'll give my life to You.  You can have it.  I can't control it any more." 
I thought that this was an easy way out of my problems... I could justify everything with God. 

Me and ShadrackThat summer, my parents sent me to a nine day training program that teaches teens how to witness to kids.  I was mortified.  I didn't want to share my so-called faith in a God I hardly believed in.  I wasn't allowed to quit the program, so I simply shut down.  On the fourth day, they took me and some other teens out to the park to witness to random people.  I had to share my 'faith' with a nineteen year old girl.  I spoke in a fairly monotone voice, inwardly begging the girl to ignore my words.  The girl was quiet and shy but she accepted Christ that day, explaining that she had just graduated from high school and received a Bible for graduation.  She hadn't known what to do with it until I came along and explained to her what it all meant.

This crushed me.  I went home that night and cried because I realized that God had used me, even though I was fighting against Him with all of my might.  He still used me to further His kingdom. 

I went to Mexico City on a mission trip soon after.  I was able to see poverty, serve the needy, and witness to the lost through an interpreter.  I went to Angel Tree Camp and shared a cabin with several young girls whose parents were incarcerated.  Most of these girls had been abused and neglected throughout their lives and a few of them also accepted Christ.

By the end of the summer, I was able to lead more than thirty people to the Lord.  Me- a young, timid girl with wavering faith.  There was no denying that God had worked through me.  I had my end of the deal to keep.  My life was His.

MeI'm seventeen years old now, an upcoming senior in high school.  I have no doubt that God has worked in my life.  I'm still growing in Him every day.  There are still difficult times that I have to struggle through, but Jesus has held my hand through each trial.  Hard situations that would have broken my faith a few years ago now strengthen my relationship with the Lord.  I haven't cut in more than three years.  I'm not depressed.  I have a joy and a hope inside of me that is indescribable.  You can't know how it feels unless you have it for yourself. 

I want to allow Jesus to control my life now because He is so much wiser than I am.  Believe me, I've tried to run my life on my own.  It never works.  I am so glad I made the decision to stay alive.  I've been able to do and experience so many things that I never would have imagined three years ago.  I've gone to Africa, mentored young girls who have problems with self injury or depression, wrote music, made many friends, wrote a book, and I am now interning at an inner city mission that is focused on spreading the gospel (and giving food) to the needy in my community.

I've never been happier.  And it's not just happiness that I feel... it's joy. 

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I put up a video where I share my testimony on my vlog channel on YouTube.  You can watch it here

What's your testimony?  How has God transformed your life?  Feel free to share your story in a comment below.  I'd love to hear it. 

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What's your story?

What were you like before you became a Christian?  What are sins that you have struggled with in the past?  It can be frightening and difficult to open up about your story.  Many Christians struggle with the concept of witnessing in general and especially with the daunting task of sharing their own testimony.  What's so difficult about this simple idea?  It's scary to talk about your past and your sins.  You may be afraid that you will be judged, discredited, and put down because of your story.  You may be afraid that you will say the wrong thing.  You may think that your testimony isn't "big" enough to impact anyone.

I've always learned that there are three basic steps to giving your testimony:

1.) Who you were before Christ.
2.) What happened to change all this.
3.) Who you are now.

Easy, right?  Not always.

Do you know how to tell your testimony in a way that will impact those around you and make them want to know more about Jesus Christ?  If not, keep reading.  I want to help you out. 

How to share your testimony. 
A testimony is basically the story of how you became a Christian and how Jesus Christ has changed your life.  Your story can be short or long.  You can share details about your childhood or you can give a few basic points from your life before Christ.  When you give your testimony, try to relate to your listener.  Remember to include the three things that I mentioned above. 

Who you were before Christ- Mention a specific sin that you struggled with in your life before Jesus.  Talk about your unhappiness, that incomplete feeling you had inside.  Talk about how you were lost in your sin and you never could have made it to heaven on your own.  Make sure that your listener realizes that you were a sinner. 

What happened to change all this- Talk about what made you realize that you needed Jesus.  What led you to Christ- your parents, your pastor, a camp, the Bible, a book?  What did you tell God when you admitted that you were a sinner?  What emotions were running through your head?  (These emotions may be what your listener is feeling at this moment.) 

Who you are now-  Describe the joy and peace you feel that comes from Jesus and only Jesus.  Have you overcome your aforementioned sin since you became a Christian?  Be sure to mention that you still face challenges at times, but you have a new hope and confidence in Jesus.  How has God changed your life for the better?  

Why is sharing my testimony so important?
Sharing your faith is a crucial part of being a disciple of Christ.  In Matthew 28:19, 20, Jesus commands us to go and make disciples of all nations.  Jesus did not ask us- He commanded us to share the gospel with the world.  When have you last shared your faith? 

Telling your story is a great way to witness because it involves getting personal with a friend or acquaintance and sharing your own story of how you came to Christ.  Personal testimonies are often impacting and thought-provoking.  Have you ever been to a Christian concert when one of the artists stood up and gave a touching story of how they came to Christ?  Did you not get chills?  Were you not brought to tears?  Testimonies go beyond saying, "You should become a Christian because the Bible says so."  When you give your testimony, you're saying, "This is what Jesus Christ did for my life and this is what He can do for you."    

Is sharing my testimony Biblical?
The Bible never gives a word-by-word, step-by-step description of how you should tell people about Jesus.  What the Bible does say is that you should go into all the world and preach the good news to all creation.  In 1 Timothy 1:12-17, Paul briefly gives his testimony to fellow believer Timothy.  In Acts 22, Paul gives a more detailed testimony to a large crowd in Jerusalem. 
 
I have a horrible past.  I'm afraid that others will judge me if I give my testimony.
Everybody has sinned.  It may be frightening and embarrassing to admit what your life was like before Christ.  Maybe you were an alcoholic or into drugs.  Maybe you robbed banks.  Maybe you were a compulsive liar or extremely depressed.  Maybe you had an abortion or slept around.  The truth is: yeah, no matter who you are, you've messed up at some point in your life. 

The good thing about giving your testimony is the fact that you can use your mistakes and your bad choices to help lead someone to the Lord.  You don't have to share every detail about who you used to be.  Your description of your past may consist of something like, "Before I became a Christian, I was into drugs and really depressed.  My life was miserable until..." and that could be as far as you go. 

No matter what you struggled with as an unbeliever, there are people who are struggling with that same issue right now.  Your story could be what helps them realize that they need Jesus.  Pray for the Lord to give you courage to share your story to those around you.  Your testimony can help impact someone for Jesus and your life-changing transformation will reflect glory on Him.     

I became a Christian when I was very young.  I don't really have a good testimony.
I've heard so many people- especially young people- give this excuse when faced with the challenge of sharing their testimony.  "I got saved when I was five.  Sure, I was a sinner, but I never really did anything that bad.  My story can't impact anyone."  Honestly, testimonies aren't supposed to be some competition about who has the most life-shattering story.  That's not how it works.  Sharing your testimony means you telling someone about how you became a Christian.  You don't have to have some crazy, action-packed life before you became a Christian.  Your story can be "small."  People will still be touched, because you're telling about what changed you

Your testimony can go something like this: "I grew up in a Christian environment.  I always went to church.  Even though I was a little kid, I still messed up.  I disobeyed my parents, I lied, and I fought with my brother.  When a kind lady at church told me about how Jesus had died on the cross for my sins, it hit me.  I asked Jesus into my heart right then and admitted that I had sinned and needed Him.  Ever since then, my life has been changed.  I still struggle with sins like lying, but Jesus has given me a peace and a strength that I wouldn't have in my life without Him.  I'm truly joyful because Jesus is in my heart."   

See?  You can use your story to describe what Jesus has done for you.  It may not be shocking enough to fill a book, but your story can always be used to impact others for the Lord.   

What's your testimony?
I'll post my testimony on this site tomorrow, so check back to read my story.  You can use my testimony as an example in which to write yours or you can simply read and see how Jesus Christ has changed my life.  If you're not a Christian, be sure to read my story and find out what Jesus has done for me and where I come from as a Christian.

What's your testimony?  Leave it in a comment below.

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