My Brother's Keeper

Genesis 4:9

Then the Lord said to Cain, “Where is your brother Abel?”

“I don’t know,” he replied. “Am I my brother’s keeper?”

I walk on rocky dirt paths and pass huts made of the clay that also paved this road. People call out to me, delighted to see a visitor, and say, "Greetings, sister!" 

Sister Emily. I know this title and give friends similar ones. Brother Francis. Sister Ruth. Brother Lawrence. 

"Greetings, sister," I say warmly to the mother who has lost three small children from preventable diseases. 

So long ago, Cain asked, "Am I my brother's keeper?" We echo this day-by-day. 

Brothers and sisters in Syria, Nepal, Congo, Haiti, Mexico. Our brothers and sisters in Christ and of this earth - but do we keep them? Do we intervene when access to basic human rights have fallen away? Do we even care to intervene? Will these be questions of accountability from God one day? 

I am my brother's keeper. I may fail at this duty often, but the responsibility has been given to some degree. A union set forth by God and His tender heart for His children. James 2:16 says, "If one of you says to them, 'Go in peace, keep warm and well fed,' but does nothing about their physical needs, what good is it?"

Ultimately, the Lord is our keeper and our provider, but He has charged us with the task of feeding His children, of loving His little ones. 

Are you your brother's keeper?

One Flesh

Genesis 2:18

The Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”

I am the helper suitable for my husband. I am the bone of his bone and the flesh of his flesh. The Lord put us together for His glory, for companionship, for unity. We are the reflection of Christ's love for His Bride: the Church. 

I left my father and my mother to become one with my husband. The transition is not an easy one. Our sinful flesh so easily rebels against what God created. I ache for my parents some days; we forget that we are no longer two independents but rather one.

One flesh.

The Lord rejoices in this union. It is He who said, "It is not good for man to be alone." It is He who brought Eve from a rib and Adam from the dust of the earth - put together in union. It is He who placed me at Lance's side and he at mine.

Even when my flesh aches for worldly ways and stubbornness, my heart and soul delight in a union given by my Father. 

One flesh. Never again alone. 

Good.

Genesis 1:31 

God saw all that he had made, and it was very good.

It was good.

I have recently been caught up in loss and chaos and the little parts of my days that cause concern. My thoughts have moved to the rushing waters and tearing winds of hurricanes - first Harvey, which stole the breath from my own states and now Irma, which threatens to snuff further hopes of children in small, impoverished nations. The Kenyan re-election looms overhead. A drowned CRF child who tried to teach himself how to swim in an active river. Disastrous wildfires. 

In this world there is trouble. But the Creator formed it with His Words. His hands, His breath. Even when we try our best to break this place, it is good. 

It is His. 

It will always be made by Him, held by Him, cherished by Him. He is good. It is good. There is no need for fear. 

The Favored One

Genesis 6:7-8

"I regret that I have made them.” But Noah found favor in the eyes of the Lord.

Noah was a testament to the boundless mercy of God.

When the Lord regretted His creation of humanity, He favored Noah. A man from the same dust and the same breath as other men worshiped God and found favor in a dark and broken earth. 

God kept Noah - but not only Noah. He kept those that Noah cherished. Three sons. Three daughters-in-law. His beloved wife. The Lord knew the desires of Noah's heart and met them, even while feeling the anguish of every soul that fought against Him on that earth. 

The mercy of our Father is immeasurable. We deserve the worst - and He has given us His best: His Son. He has kept a remnant in the flood, in the brokenness, and He meets the undeserved desires of our hearts. 

The Darkest Darkness

In Carlsbad Caverns, a memorable experience of any cave tour is when you have ventured deep within the caverns and it is time to turn out the lights. We were hiking by lantern. When our ranger asked us to blow out each candle that illuminated our path, our pulses sped up.

The flame of my lantern flickered and went out. One after another, our lanterns snuffed into smoke and warm wicks and darkness shut around us.

I've never been in such darkness that I could almost reach out and touch it. This darkness seemed to have a texture. Breathing it in felt thick and shaky. Standing within it was overwhelming.

The most interesting part of standing in total darkness over a thousand feet underground was the human brain's reaction. Although there was truly no source of light in this cavern, my mind played tricks on me.

"Can you see each other's outlines in the dark?" the ranger asked us. "Wave your hand in front of your eyes. Can you see it? The truth is that you can't see your hand. You can't see each other. But your brain is compensating for the total darkness by imagining that it sees these shapes." Stunned, I waved my hand in front of my eyes and felt certain I could see the outline of my fingers.

When the first candle flickered and light slowly made its way back into the depths of our cavern, I realized that the ranger was speaking truth. People weren't standing exactly how I thought I had seen them. I had stood in such overwhelming darkness that my mind had made up light.

Sin is like the true darkness deep inside Carlsbad Caverns. The more immersed you are in the overwhelming darkness of your sin, the more you are blinded to the reality of how lost you are, at how absorbed you are in that darkness.

Justification is one way that we blind ourselves to our sin. "I'm looking at photographs and not videos, so I do not have problems with pornography." "I'll pay her back, so this isn't really stealing." "Stretching the truth isn't lying."

Comparison is another way. "My friend has one night stands all the time; sex with my girlfriend isn't like that." "She is an actual gossip; what I'm doing is really just expressing worry." "I'm barely a bad person compared to him."

Ephesians 5:8-13 and 15 says, "For you were once darkness, but now you are light in the Lord. Live as children of light... and find out what pleases the Lord. Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness. ...Be very careful, then, how you live - not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity." Even as Christians we will find ourselves blinded (by our own sin and our own decisions, yet blinded all the same). We must intentionally put aside justifications and comparisons until our sin struggles are visible in our own eyes and we can work to make the most of every opportunity to live more like Christ.

The truth of Jesus is like that flickering flame that turned a dark cavern into a warm and visible space. It changed everything about that room - even the structure of how my mind comprehended what was around me. Light changed everything.

1 John 1:6-7 says, "If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin."

Do not allow yourself to walk in the darkness of your sin, imagining that you can clearly see the right way to go. What might seem like the faint outline of a road at your feet may very well be your mind playing tricks as you teeter at the edge of a chasm. Ask the Lord to reveal your sins and guide you in wisdom and truth. Let him shine a light into every facet of your life.

Cave Walls

We stood at the mouth of the cave and peered into the unknown. Darkness stretched far beyond the weak lights of our candles. In February, I went on a lantern-lit tour through the Left-Hand Tunnel of the Carlsbad Caverns in New Mexico.

Light flickered against the walls as the ranger lifted his lantern and motioned for us to look closer. "Notice there is no wind in these tunnels. Just like the face of the moon still has the footprints of the very first astronauts, anything that you change in these caverns will stay the same for thousands of years to come."

Obvious marks pocked the walls. They had been made by the very first explorers of this tunnel. These early visitors of the cave didn't value preservation in the same way that we do now, so they hacked away at the walls with pick-axes. Certain parts of the walls were completely broken, changing so much of the cave that researchers can no longer study how the tunnel was formed.

A hundred years ago, someone made marks on the face of a cave wall. And a hundred years later, they are still there. White gashes against stone, forever changing the tunnel, forever marring its walls. The ranger's lesson was that we should be careful about the impact we make on nature, as the changes we make might stay there forever.

So many times in my life I have felt like that cave wall, like I have been forever marked - forever scarred by the impact of my own sin.

When I have chosen to put things before the Lord - a gash here. When I have insulted myself, not loved myself, put down one who was made in the image of God - a scar there. Every hurt, every wrong word, every broken mistake; they have all left irreparable lines on the fabric of my heart. And when He sees me, does He see that? Does He see what could have been and is no longer? Does He see what was broken, what will no longer be the same?

Isaiah 64:6 says that all our righteous acts are like filthy rags! In the face of my own sin, my best works are no better than what is torn and undesirable. I have sat and felt the scars brought by my sin like pock-marks on a cave wall, and wondered... how can I still be lovable? How can I ever be what I was or who I'd like to be? 

Each time I have felt undesirable, unforgivable, unredeemed, I have believed a lie. The truth is that when my Father sees me, He does not see the marks of my sin. He does not see what is broken. He sees one who is redeemed. 2 Corinthians 5:17 says, "if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!" I am not what was broken. I am what is new. I am loved and lovable, new and still changing. Sin does not define me any longer and I am not a slave to who I was before.

1 Corinthians 1:30 says that Christ made us right with God. Through faith in Him, we are seen as righteous in the sight of our Creator. Christ bore my iniquities so that I could be healed (Isaiah 53:11, 1 Peter 2:24). There is no condemnation now when I go before the Father (Romans 8:1). Instead, there is an abundance of grace. I am an heir. I am a child of God.

The power of the cross is so much greater than what I have done. Christ has the power to substitute what was old for what is new, for what was unloved with what is cherished. My old self was crucified with him (Romans 6:6) and the marks are gone now. I'm seen as pure and whole and beloved before Christ and this brings so much joy! 2 Corinthians 5:21 says, "God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God."

I am no longer scarred beyond repair. The cave wall is not a reflection of who I am - nor is it a reflection of you.

Isaiah 61:10

I am overwhelmed with joy in the Lord my God!

For he has dressed me with the clothing of salvation

and draped me in a robe of righteouness. 

I am like a bridegroom dressed for his wedding

or a bride with her jewels.

Romans: Putting away our idols

I write a monthly Bible study over Romans for my sponsored daughter.  You may print out this Bible study to send your sponsored child as well.

Romans 1:18-32

Everybody in the world has sinned.  Sin is anything you think, say, or do that breaks God's laws.  Because God is holy, sin separates us from him.  This passage is about sin and how sin hurts our world.  God's wrath is anger, but it is a just anger because the world has turned away from God's laws.

Anything that you put above God in your heart is an idol.  Do you have any idols in your life?  I used to have an idol.  It was what other people thought of me.  That sounds like a strange idol, but I wanted people to like me more than I cared about obeying God!  I put my image over God, so it became an idol for me.  Other idols can be gods, carved statues, or things like money, things you own, or even friends.  Having idols is sinning.

God has shown himself to the whole world!  He is our Creator and everything he has made shows how beautiful and holy he is.  God is the only one we should worship.  We need to put him over all other things in our lives.

We live in a very broken, sinful world that has many idols: other religions, wealth, success, sex, and popularity are some big idols.  But you and I know the true purpose and joy of our lives is to worship God.  Everything else is only a distraction from him.  We can enjoy the blessings God has given us, but remember to put God first in your life every day.

Memory Verse:
"For since the creation of the world God's invisible qualities- his eternal power and divine nature- have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse." -Romans 1:20

Questions:
1.) Have you ever put something in your heart above God?
2.) How would you explain the difference between a blessing from God and an idol?  How does this change the way we view our possessions and our values?
3.) In what ways has God shown himself to the world?

Words to learn:
1.) Reveal: make known
2.) Divine: of God
3.) Invisible: not seen
4.) Futile: useless, not effective
5.) Degrade: to lower in character
6.) Penalty: punishment after breaking a law or rule
7.) Retain: to hold or have
8.) Depravity: bad or evil
7.) Distraction: to draw away attention

Two years ago: Before you bug out, READ THIS.
Three years ago: Recommended Reads
Four years ago: Who does God hate?

Romans: Thankfulness

Feel free to print this Bible study and send it to your sponsored child, just as I do for mine!

Romans 1:8-17

In this passage, Paul gives thanksgiving for the Christian churches.  He also explains how the gospel is the saving power of God and the good news for the whole world.

What are you thankful for?  In the United States, we have a holiday called Thanksgiving, where we take a day to express our gratitude to the Lord for all of his blessings he has given us.  I am thankful for my family, my friends, my school, and my church.  I am also so very thankful that you are my daughter!  I thank God for you every day.

Paul is very thankful that the Christian church is following God and proclaiming the gospel all over the world.  He takes the time to pray for the churches in every nation.  Did you know that in some countries, it is illegal to worship God?  Christians are killed or jailed for praying and going to church.  Let's take the time to pray for those who must struggle every day to stay strong in their faith.

Even in Kenya or America, there will sometimes be persecution for what we believe.  Sometimes it will come by people not liking us or treating us unfairly.  Even if you face hard things because of your faith in Jesus, do not lose hope.  We must not be ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation for everyone who believes!  This means that God gave us the gospel to save us so that we can be his children.  How could we be ashamed of such good news?  Let's be thankful and encourage our friends to stay strong in the Lord.

It is very good to say the gospel over and over again, like Paul does in Romans, so that we will never forget how the Lord has saved us from death.  The gospel can encourage us every single day!

Memory Verse:
"For I am not ashamed of the gospel, because it is the power of God that brings salvation to everyone who believes." -Romans 1:16

Questions:
1.) What are you thankful for?
2.) In what ways can you be bold and unashamed of the gospel?

Words to learn:
1.) Gratitude: being thankful
2.) Persecution: being oppressed or hurt because of your beliefs
3.) Proclaim: announce
4.) Salvation: being saved
5.) Encourage: to inspire with courage, spirit, or confidence
6.) Obligate: to commit or bind
7.) Reveal: to make known

Two years ago: The Road Trip
Four years ago: The Dollar

Anna: The Proclaimer

Today is Christmas!  Throughout the month of December, I have been studying about the women whose stories are told in the Bible around the time that Jesus Christ was born.  Their faithfulness and joy were so evident, and their stories reveal the Lord's love and grace.  Over the last couple of weeks, I have blogged about two women of Christmas: Mary and Elizabeth.  Today I would like to talk about Anna.

Anna is not talked about as often as Mary or Elizabeth.  Her story in the Bible is brief, sweet, and often forgotten. 

Anna is one of only ten female prophets mentioned in the Bible.  [Isaiah's wife (Isaiah 8:3), Deborah (Judges 4:4), Philip's four daughters (Acts 21:8-9), Miriam (Micah 6:4, Exodus 15:20-21), Noadiah (Nehemiah 6:14), Huldah (1 Kings 22:14, 2 Chronicles 34:22-28), and Anna (Luke 2:36-38)].

Anna, bless her heart, was eighty-four.  When I think of her, I imagine an elderly woman of frail stature with smile lines that creased across the apples of her cheeks and hair as white as snow.  She had been a widow nearly all of her life.  In Anna's time, women married very young, and Scripture says she was married only seven years before tragedy struck her life and her husband died.  For the rest of her life, Anna never remarried but focused her heart and desires solely on the Lord.

Anna spent all of her time in the temple.  She never left, but instead worshiped the Lord all night and all day.  The sacrifice and physical toll that came from constant fasting, worship, and remaining within the temple courts 24/7 for at least fifty or sixty years must have been great, but Anna allowed the Lord to sustain her physically, emotionally, and spiritually.  She loved and served God with all of her heart.

Preceding Anna's story in the Bible, Mary and Joseph had brought baby Jesus to the temple in Jerusalem in order to present Him to the Lord.  In the temple courts, an old man named Simeon who was filled with the Holy Spirit approached them.  He lifted Jesus into his arms and said, "Sovereign Lord, as you have promised, you may now dismiss your servant in peace.  For my eyes have seen your salvation, which you have prepared in the sight of all nations; a light for revelation to the Gentiles, and the glory of your people Israel" (Luke 2:29-32).  The Holy Spirit had revealed to Simeon that he would not die until he saw the Messiah, and now He had come.

The Bible says that Joseph and Mary marveled at Simeon's words.  They had been visited by angels; they knew what the Lord had promised them.  However, to have such a declaration from a complete stranger spoken over their son must have been a source of great wonder.

At that very moment, Anna approached them.  She was also filled with the Holy Spirit who was guiding her to the young Messiah.  Anna prophesied about Him.  We do not know her words, but we do know that she spoke about Jesus and joyfully thanked the Lord.

What brings me so much encouragement from Anna was the way she proclaimed the truth to everyone who would listen.  Simeon was a righteous man.  He had the honor of prophesying about the Messiah in the temple courts.  But Anna is made known for her proclamations about Jesus.  She was one of the first to share the good news about Jesus Christ coming to earth with the public. 

Luke 2:38 says, "she gave thanks to God and spoke about the child to all who were looking forward to the redemption of Jerusalem." 

Anna was filled with hope.  She trusted God with every moment of her day.  She lived among a people who were struggling under the oppression of the Romans.  With desperation and discouragement, the Israelites were crying out to God for a Savior to free them from the yoke of their oppressors.  They were looking for an earthly king, but Anna found great joy in the sight of a child being presented before the Lord, her Messiah and eternal King.

We live in a world of discouragement and brokenness.  We may not be under the oppression of Rome, but we are faced daily with a barrage of sin and hurt and doubt.  So many people on this earth are crying out for a Savior.

Let's be like Anna.  She rejoiced in the hope of the Lord and she proclaimed redemption to anyone who would hear the good news.  Let's thank God for His gift of Jesus Christ, for giving us a child that grew up to be a man who paid the price for our sins on a cross.

Jesus Christ brought redemption to the world.  Let's proclaim this with boldness.

Merry Christmas.

Four years ago: Alone, Yet Not Alone

Elizabeth: One Who Waited

As Christmas Day approaches, I have been studying in the Bible about women whose stories are told around the time of the birth of Christ.  They lived in faith and courage, and there is much to learn from them.  A couple of weeks ago, I talked about Mary, a woman of faith.  Today I will share the story of Elizabeth, Mary's relative and the mother of John the Baptist, a woman who waited in hope.  You can find her story in Luke 1.

Elizabeth is first mentioned in Luke 1:5-7.  She was married to a priest named Zechariah.  Elizabeth was also in the lineage of the priests as a descendent of Aaron.  The Bible describes her as "righteous in the sight of God, observing all the Lord's commands and decrees blamelessly."  Elizabeth was also quite old.

There was tragedy in Elizabeth's life.  She was barren.  She lived in a time where a woman's value was often defined by her ability to bear children, particularly sons.  Barrenness was considered a punishment from God.  As a woman who loved the Lord and served Him wholeheartedly, Elizabeth must have struggled with the fact that she had been given no children.  By the time she reached an old age, she must have long since given up on ever having a child of her own.

One day, Zechariah was on duty burning incense in the temple.  As he stood before the altar, an angel appeared before him and said that his wife would bear a son that would be filled with the Holy Spirit before he was even born and who would make ready the people of Israel for the Messiah.  Stunned, Zechariah questioned the angel and doubted God's word.  He was reprimanded and unable to speak again until months later, when he named his son John.

Zechariah was made to be silent until the promise of the Lord was fulfilled.  Elizabeth became silent by choice.

After her husband returned from his service as a priest, Elizabeth discovered she was pregnant and went into seclusion for five months, spending all of her time in prayer before the Lord.  How filled with hope she must have been!  "The Lord has done this for me.  In these days, He has shown His favor and taken away my disgrace among the people" (Luke 1:25).

Six months into Elizabeth's pregnancy, her cousin Mary was visited by Gabriel and given news about her own pregnancy.  Mary was greatly encouraged by the testimony of her older relative.  Gabriel shared Elizabeth's story with Mary when she was troubled, and she immediately rushed to Elizabeth's town in Judea, a journey that was probably the length of a couple of weeks.

The reunion of the two cousins was filled with great joy.  The child in Elizabeth's womb already had the Holy Spirit, but as soon as Mary entered the room, Elizabeth was also filled with the Spirit.  When she spoke in a loud voice, she prophesied, saying, "Blessed are you among women, and blessed is the child you will bear!  But why am I so favored, that the mother of my Lord should come to me?  As soon as the sound of your greeting reached my ears, the baby in my womb leaped for joy.  Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill His promises to her!" (Luke 1:42-44).

Mary had been pregnant for very little time at all, a few weeks at the most.  She almost certainly had not yet begun to show.  Though she waited, not even she may have yet noticed a change in her body.  The immediate reaction from Elizabeth, brought forth by the Holy Spirit, was a confirmation of the Lord's promises to her.

"But why am I so favored, that the mother of my Lord should come to me?" Elizabeth said joyfully.  She was one of the very first to wholeheartedly place her faith in Jesus Christ, before He even emerged from His mother's womb.  Without hesitation, she called Jesus her Lord.  She recognized Him as the Son of God.

There were many years between the two women.  Elizabeth was elderly; Mary was a youth.  However, both were bonded together through the promises of God, a Messiah to come, and hearts overflowing with thankfulness for the Lord.

Mary stayed with Elizabeth for three months before returning home to Nazareth around the time her cousin gave birth.  Elizabeth had a son, just as she had been promised.  Everyone she knew heard about the Lord's great mercy, and the Bible says that they shared in her joy.

Just like that, all of the insecurities and disgrace Elizabeth had felt for the entirety of her adult life faded away.  She was loved.  She was favored.  She was an instrument of the Lord, and she clearly felt His compassion for her.

There are times in my life when I feel like I'm stuck, unable to see God's plan for me in a difficult situation.  I've never experienced the cultural disgrace that Elizabeth felt, but I have faced discouragement and loneliness.  

Elizabeth had a gentle faith in God that did not falter.  She served Him, even when she felt as if her dreams were sifting through her fingers like sand.  When promised a son under impossible circumstances, she waited.  She worshiped.  And she was given the honor of being one of the very first to believe in Jesus Christ as her Savior.

If you are in a place of waiting in your life, do not be discouraged.  The Lord's promises are true.  "Blessed is she who has believed that the Lord would fulfill His promises to her."  He is faithful to you.  He loves you.  He brings hope.

Wait in His arms and shout with joy about the good news He has brought to earth. 

Two years ago: I'm excited.
Four years ago: Christmas poems

Romans: The Longest Greeting

Every month, I send my sponsored daughter Lavin a Bible study over a chapter from the book of Romans.  I am also sharing this here so that you can print it out and send it to your sponsored child if they are old enough to go through a Bible study with you.  This is a great way for you to connect with your child and help disciple them as they grow up in the Lord.

Romans 1:1-7

In this first section of Romans 1, Paul shares his greetings to the Christian churches in Rome.  This is a very long greeting!  Imagine if saying "hello" in our letters always took seven verses to write out!  Letter-writing would take a very long time.  The reason why Paul wrote such a long greeting is because he had not been to Rome and he wanted to fully explain the gospel to anyone who might not understand it.

Can you summarize the gospel?  It is a good thing to practice sharing the gospel in a way that other people can understand, even children.  I like to explain the gospel using colors.

• Gold: God is holy and righteous. He is without sin.
• Black: We have all sinned, and the punishment for our sins is death.
• Red: God sent his only Son, Jesus, to die on the cross for us and take the punishment for our sins.
• White: If we repent and put our faith in Jesus, we are seen as clean and righteous by God!
• Green: We can grow in our relationship with the Lord by being baptized, attending church, praying, and reading our Bible.

The word "gospel" means "good news."  When Paul is sharing the gospel, he is not just telling us what we should or should not do; he is talking about how faith in Jesus changes everything about our whole lives!

Paul calls himself a servant and an apostle.  When he does this, he is being humble by showing that his life is completely God's, but he is also showing his authority as an apostle.  An apostle is someone who has been chosen by Christ to disciple the church.  Paul had authority to write books of the Bible.

Paul talks about his life mission in Romans 1:5, which is to bring the gospel to all nations, and this is our calling too!  We are commanded by God to share the gospel in Kenya, in the USA, and all over the world.

At the end of this passage, Paul says, "Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ."  When he says peace, he does not mean "no war" or "no trouble."  Sometimes bad things will happen even though we trust in God.  The word Paul used was "shalom," which means that your life is transformed by God and the peace that comes from putting your faith in him.

Memory Verse:
"Grace to you and peace from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ." -Romans 1:7

Questions:
1.) Explain the gospel in a way that is easy to understand.
2.) How can you help share the gospel?
3.) What are ways that God has given you peace in your life?

Words to learn:
1.) Summarize: to share something in a few words
2.) Holy: godly, sacred, perfect, without sin
3.) Authority: a power that is given
4.) Transform: to change in nature

Three years ago: Wistful
Four years ago: The Broken Beam

Romans: Introduction

Over the summer, I sent my sponsored daughter Lavin some old Bible study pages I wrote a while back.  A few days ago, I received a sweet letter from her thanking me for them and explaining that she has been studying them every single day since she received them.  Obviously, Lavin has little access to many of the resources that I had when I was a sixteen-year-old girl.  While she learns about God in church and in school, she cannot go to Lifeway Christian Bookstore to grab a curriculum so that she and her friends can have a Bible study.

So we will be going through the book of Romans together over the next several months.  After spending time with Lavin this summer, I was able to see how intelligent and articulate she has become.  She is capable of walking through a book of the Bible like this with a little assistance. 

I will be sharing the short Bible studies I write each week (and I will send four weeks at a time with my monthly letters), and I am sharing them here as well.  You are welcome to print them and send them to your sponsored child if they are older, learning English, and you think they are at a place where they could be encouraged by a Bible study.  (One more note is that I know Lavin has a Bible because I gave her one this summer, so if you are unsure about whether or not your child has a personal Bible, you may want to contact your sponsorship organization and arrange for one to be bought for your child.)

For week one, I gave an introduction to the book of Romans.

Week 1: Introduction

My sweet daughter, I am so happy to read through Romans with you.  Even though I will split up each part of the study into weeks, please take your time and move as slowly as you need.  It might take you more than one week to do each part.  I am so proud of the strong woman of faith you have become.  You are also welcome to study this with your friends.  If you have trouble understanding anything, please ask your teacher.

Before we begin chapter one, let's learn about the book of Romans.  The apostle Paul was the writer of this book of the Bible.  It was first a letter to the Christian churches in Rome in the year A.D. 57, a very long time ago.  In the last chapter, Paul commends a woman named Phoebe to them, and she was probably the one who gave the churches this letter.

My study Bible says: "the theme of Romans is the revelation of God's judging and saving righteousness in the gospel of Jesus Christ.  In the cross of Christ, God judges sin and yet at the same time manifests his saving mercy."  This is a lot of big and long words, but it means that this book is about how God has made us righteous through the gospel of Jesus.  God is a judge of sin, but he saves us through his mercy.

This week as we get ready to begin our study of Romans, I ask that you pray that God will prepare your heart for this Bible study.  I am also praying that he will prepare my heart and show me what he wants me to learn.

Every week, we can also learn a verse together.  You do not have to memorize every verse, but I encourage you to continue to memorize Scripture often!  I was so proud of the way you could recite so many verses to me this summer.

This week:
1.) Re-write the theme of Romans into your own words.

Words to learn:
1.) Commend: to talk about as worthy of confidence
2.) Revelation: God showing us about himself and his will
3.) Manifest: to make clear

Three years ago: Jack is Smiling
Four years ago: The Lion

Mary: Woman of Faith

Over the next few weeks of December, I would like to talk about some of the women who had a part in the Christmas story.  This season is about Jesus, as should be every day of the year, but as we take the time to worship Him and celebrate His birth, I would also like to look into a little more what it would have been like to be a woman used by God in this precious story of Christ.

I think it's easiest to imagine Mary, as she is the woman who is remembered most often during this season, and for good reason.  She was the mother of Jesus.

No one knows Mary's exact age, but in an era when child brides were the norm, she was most likely in her early teens.  Mary likely still lived with her mother and father, but she was betrothed to a man named Joseph, which in their Jewish culture meant Mary had already entered the first step of a binding marriage.  In order for her to break her engagement, she and Joseph would have had to file for divorce. 

Even today, when a girl is engaged and turns out to be pregnant before marriage, there are sideways looks and whispers.  Imagine if a girl you knew from college became pregnant with a child that was not even her fiance's.  Surely judgment and gossip from everyone she knew would rain down over her head like a thunderstorm.  She would face so much condemnation. 

In Mary's time, a Jewish woman who became pregnant outside of marriage would instantly receive a death sentence.  Mary was bound by the first covenant of the Old Testament.  Both her parents and Joseph carefully followed the Jewish law.  Deuteronomy 22:22 and Leviticus 20:10 set forth the punishment for adultery, and that was death.  Mary was considered married, and remaining a virgin was necessary in order for her to keep her life and her future secure. 

A thought that has left me awed in recent months has been Mary's bravery when she was approached by the angel Gabriel.  I have been reading through Ezekiel and Daniel this semester.  Scrawled along the margins of a few pages of my Bible, I have written things like: "This is how people react to an angel."  The immediate reactions tend to be terror, falling over, and trembling violently.

Daniel 8:15-17 says, "While I, Daniel, was watching the vision and trying to understand it, there before me stood one who looked like a man.  And I heard a man's voice from the Ulai calling, 'Gabriel, tell this man the meaning of the vision.'  As he came near the place where I was standing, I was terrified and fell prostrate."  

A little later, in Daniel 10, Daniel cannot even speak without assistance, he is so awed by his visions of heaven.  "'How can I, your servant, talk with you, my lord?  My strength is gone and I can hardly breathe.'  Again the one who looked like a man touched me and gave me strength.  'Do not be afraid, you who are highly esteemed,' he said.  'Peace!  Be strong now; be strong.'" 

Mary may have been terrified at the sight of Gabriel as he appeared before her and said, "Greetings, you who are highly favored!  The Lord is with you," even if she did not fall over in fear and in trembling.  In fact, Luke 1:29 did say she was greatly troubled by his words.  The Greek word for this is διεταράχθη (dietarachthē), which can also mean perplexed or pondering.  My ESV Bible says that she tried to discern what kind of greeting it might be.  Mary was concerned by the visit, but instead of reacting out of terror, she pondered to herself what the angel could possibly mean by appearing before her this way. 

Gabriel responded, "Do not be afraid, Mary; you have found favor with God.  You will conceive and give birth to a son, and you are to call him Jesus.  He will be great and will be called the Son of the Most High."

The Jewish people had been waiting for a Messiah for so many years.  They expected a man to appear on a throne and with great power and force to rescue them from the Romans, but instead Gabriel spoke to a child, to a virgin girl, and told her that she would give birth to the one for whom all of her ancestors had been eagerly waiting. 

Mary asked, "How will this be?", which was nearly the same question as her cousin-in-law, Zechariah, had asked Gabriel before being reprimanded for his lack of faith.  Mary asked a very similar question, but she asked it with pure motives.  Her heart was not one of fear and doubt.  God is our loving Father; He answers our questions in the way that we need, and beyond that, we are called to have faith that our Blessed Controller (1 Timothy 6:15) will keep us safe in His will. 

Even in her curiosity, Mary had the faith of a child.  While Zechariah doubted that God could perform a miracle in his life, Mary merely wondered how the Lord would use a girl like her.  Gabriel realized this and so he did not reprimand her for her curiosity.  Instead, he answered her question: "The Holy Spirit will come on you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you."  This was enough for Mary.  She believed. 

Gabriel's words certainly would have terrified me!  The Most High would overshadow her and impregnate her?  What an overwhelming thought.  Mary's calm and graceful response leaves me amazed.

"Behold, I am a servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word."

These words are so very powerful.  As Mary spoke, she surely realized the consequences that were to follow.  All her life, she had been warned about the punishments for breaking the law.  She likely had seen punishments with her own eyes, women stoned for sleeping with other men.  Now here Mary would be impregnated by the Holy Spirit as a young virgin girl, already betrothed to a man.  Who could possibly believe that her pregnancy, out of wedlock, was of the Lord?  Why would Joseph not abandon her?  Why would her parents not drag her into the streets to be put to death?  Mary's reputation as a godly woman would not be the only thing lost; her very life was in danger. 

Yet Mary's faith did not waver.  She humbly took her place as a servant of the Lord.  The whispers of fear and doubt crumbled from her shoulders.  "Let it be to me according to your word."  And so it was.

She would take it all for the sake of her Lord, her Creator, her true Husband.  Her life was His.

God will never approach me to birth His Son, but He may approach me with a calling that is frightening and difficult to accept, and when He does, I hope that I have the same response to Him as Mary did: "I am a servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word." 

God asked for Mary's life with no exceptions.  She was willing to be ruined for the Lord, if that is what He asked from her.  Her faith brought so much favor. 

If the time comes and the Lord asks me to allow my life to be ruined, will I say yes?  

Let it be to me according to Your word.  

Two years ago: The Embarrassing Picture
Four years ago: Legacy

No Condemnation (Rachel's Story)

A couple of weeks ago, I got an email from a girl named Rachel who reads my blog.  She was vulnerable in a way that completely touched my heart.  I can relate to what she was saying so well, and I think a lot of Christians can too.  With Rachel's permission, I'm going to be sharing parts of her original email and my response right here, as an encouragement for anyone who is struggling with fear and shame.

Hey Emily,

I am a 16 year old Junior.  I have gone to a public school my entire life.  I struggle in a few ways.  Last year was the worst.  I would constantly feel tons of guilt.  This is because I have built up some sort of wall between school and my Christian life.  I am terrified of sharing my faith at school, and I'm not sure why.  It's almost like I get paralyzed when I try to.  Even little things like praying over lunch.  Every day I would go home and feel horrible because of this.  I repented over and over, but I didn't really know what I was repenting for and I didn't know what I could change.  I felt defeated and almost a little bitter towards God because it was too hard and I saw no way out.  

Then I got sick.  It got to the point where I could barely eat because my stomach was so messed up.  After many months of tests and a surgery, they concluded that the acid in my stomach was eating away at it.  The cause?  Stress and anxiety.  This was kind of a turning point; I realized that the guilt couldn't be from God.  If I was literally making myself sick over this, then I was pretty sure this was some sort of attack from Satan.  Before, I believed the guilt, now I know it's not true, but I still feel it. 

I started school again today and I was pretty nervous.  I didn't want to live that way anymore, but I'm not sure how to change.  And I still feel terribly guilty that I can't share my faith.  It's not like I do anything sinful at school, it's more like what I don't do... or a selfish mindset I get into.  Today I realized I actually enjoyed school, but I found myself pushing God away throughout the day because whenever I thought of Him I felt guilty.  This isn't right either, I know.  I know I'm supposed to be a light and not be ashamed... and I also know that the guilt I feel isn't from God.  I can't find a balance!!

I know you used to struggle with anxiety and you go to a secular university, so I thought maybe you could help.  I want to please Jesus with my whole heart, but I feel like I can't.  I'm really discouraged and frustrated with myself.  I can't live in fear all year either; I just don't know.  

-Rachel

It brings me a lot of joy to see someone in high school who is so passionate about pleasing God and being a light for Him.  I also appreciate your honesty and vulnerability.  I think a lot of Christians can relate to what you're feeling.  It is scary and overwhelming to share your faith with people you see every day.  I've definitely struggled with anxiety and shyness, so I get what you're feeling. 

While sharing your faith and being a light for Christ is important, before we even go there, you are so right that the guilt you're experiencing is not from the Lord!  He will give you conviction, but He does NOT give you shame.  Let me share a few promises verses that will hopefully encourage you as much as they encourage me:

• Romans 8:1 - Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.
• Isaiah 61:7 - Instead of your shame you will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace you will rejoice in your inheritance. And so you will inherit a double portion in your land, and everlasting joy will be yours. 
• Galatians 5:1 - It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.
• 2 Corinthians 3:17 - Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom.
• Ephesians 3:12 - In him and through faith in him we may approach God with freedom and confidence.
• Matthew 11:28 - Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.

God has known the messiness of our hearts from the very beginning and loves us anyway.  When you make a mistake, remember that's why Jesus died for you.  He is offering you so much freedom from the chains in your life, not guilt and disappointment.  You've been forgiven.  Your repentance is a good thing because it shows that you have clear identity as a daughter of the Lord and that you are growing in Him every single day. 

When it comes to sharing your faith, you are so right that it's important.  It's encouraging to see the heart God has placed in you for the Gospel!  But I also realize it's pretty terrifying to be bold.  Ultimately, I encourage you to take the step to share your faith with someone at your school who God places on your heart, but for now, here are some ideas for you to consider: 

• Be a light.  Daily let the Lord's heart of love shine through you.  When you are overflowing with love and compassion for people, they will see that, and they will wonder what makes you that way.  Love through the way you live your life!  It's a little less scary to share your faith when someone actually approaches you and says, "Hey, why are you so different?"
• Ask the Lord to bring conversations to you.  I do this often, because approaching people intimidates me to this day.  I'll pray, "God, I'm weak on my own and I'm experiencing so much timidity today.  Please send someone to talk to me who does not know the Gospel."  God is faithful!  There have legitimately been times I've been sitting around on campus after praying that prayer and someone has come up to me and asked me straight up about Jesus. 
• Ask God to give you the right words to say.  I really like Isaiah 59:21, which says, "My Spirit, who is in you, will not depart from you, and my words that I have put in your mouth will always be on your lips."  Another great, great passage for encouragement is Jeremiah 1!  The prophet Jeremiah was young and afraid, but the Lord offered him so much hope and grace.  
• Put yourself in situations where you can share your faith outside of school.  I really encourage you to volunteer through local ministries after school or during the weekends.  I did this when I was in high school and it really helped me with my confidence and boldness in the Lord.

I hope this advice encouraged you in some way.  I'm young and I don't have all the answers, but I do have encouragement, and that is: Your identity is that you are a daughter of Christ, greatly beloved and free from condemnation!  God adores you and rejoices over you.  He is not ashamed of you.

I'll be praying for you as you start your next semester of school!

-Emily

To everyone reading this: How have you been able to overcome anxiety when it comes to sharing your faith?  Do you have a prayer request about your own struggle to find boldness?    

One year ago: 5 Things: So Much Joy
Two years ago: Six Year Old Animal Hoarder and Tackle Hugs
Three years ago: Heaven's Face

Too Bad for Grace

Anonymous asked: Can you ever be too bad for grace: if you cut yourself, or if you don't eat or if you look at porn, or if your actions might have made someone have a miscarriage or something really bad like that stuff are you too bad?

Your question tugged at my heart!  You can never be too bad or too broken for grace.  If you read my testimony, you’ll see that I’ve struggled with one of the issues you mentioned above (cutting) and more.  I have dealt with self injury, depression, suicidal thoughts, anxiety, not trusting God, doubting Him, denying Him, jealousy, anger, and so many more things that made me feel like it would be impossible for God to ever love someone as broken and sinful as me.

Thankfully, it’s not up to my own righteousness to earn God’s grace, or I would never measure up to His holiness.  Because I can’t word things well enough on my own, I’ll share with you some of what the Bible says that immediately comes to mind.

Ephesians 2:8,9 says, “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith- and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God- not by works, so that no one can boast.”

Titus 3:5 says, “He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy.”

Romans 11:6 says, “And if by grace, then it cannot be based on works; if it were, grace would no longer be grace.”

Nothing you can do can be enough to make it into right standing with God.  Nothing you do can be enough to make God stop loving you.  NOTHING.  Remember some of the famous men and women in the Bible who were given grace?  Paul’s goal before he knew Jesus was to murder as many members of the Christian church as he possibly could.  David, a man after God’s own heart, committed murder and adultery.  Rahab was a prostitute.  Peter denied knowing Jesus three times.  All of these people were given grace because of God’s love for them and only because of God’s love for them.

Joel 2:32 says, “Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.”  Romans 8:1 says, “Therefore, there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus.”

The only way to receive right standing with God is through faith in Him.  His grace is big enough to cover every sin.  And His love is so big that He longs to call you His own, to adopt you as His child.  He loves you.

What does it mean to be saved?

This is my third and last post about Brother Jed's visit to my university campus this year.  Today I would like to share a little more about Jed's teachings and my arguments against them.  I blogged about this last year as well, if you would like to read that here.  I don't want to share the exact same verses again, so today's post will be a continuation of that one.

A smaller group surrounding Jed

After listening to Jed and speaking with him in a smaller group for a few hours over the last few days, his "Gospel" message seems to be an odd amalgamation of both truth and lies, which is often how the enemy works.

Brother Jed believes that Jesus died for our sins.  However, Jed also believes that after putting your faith in Jesus Christ as your Savior, you must never sin again.  If you do, he says you clearly weren't a Christian in the first place.  Many times, the "quotes" I share on this blog are paraphrases as close to truth as I can remember, but after being asked by a student, Jed said, and I quote word-for-word, "No, I don't sin."  Last year, he stated that he hadn't sinned since 1971.  This time around, he said he doesn't remember the last time he sinned, but that it has been a very, very long time.

A key difference between what I believe and what Jed believes is this: I believe that after putting my faith in Jesus Christ (Acts 16:31), I am seen as pure and righteous in the eyes of God because of the sacrifice of His Son (Isaiah 1:18).  Jesus took the place for my sin (John 3:16).  However, I am still living in an earthly body (1 Corinthians 15:40-44) in a broken world (Romans 3:23), and I must strive daily to die to myself and live in obedience to the Lord.  I am now a child of God and an heir who has been given eternal life because of His grace.  I have been justified (Titus 3:7-8).

A girl in discussion about the Gospel. Click to enlarge.

Brother Jed says that after receiving salvation, we must live perfectly.  Paul the Apostle discusses the issue in Romans 7, saying, "I do not understand what I do.  For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. ... Although I want to do good, evil is right there with me.  For in my inner being I delight in God's law; but I see another law at work in me, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin at work within me."  And in this same chapter of the Bible, Paul rejoices in the Lord's salvation, saying, "Thanks be to God, who delivers me through Jesus Christ our Lord!  So then, I myself in my mind am a slave to God's law, but in my sinful nature a slave to the law of sin."

As long as we live on this earth, we will fight the war within ourselves, against the former master of sin and for a life of obedience and purity.  And sometimes we will make mistakes.  We will falter.  This is why grace is so necessary.

Brother Jed believes you must live a life of perfection on top of faith in order to achieve salvation.  I disagree. 

Titus 3:5
"He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of His mercy." 

Ephesians 2:8-9
"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith- and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God- not by works, so that no one can boast." 

One student praying; others dressing up before protesting.

Salvation is not determined by righteous works.  Romans 9:16 says, "It does not, therefore, depend on human desire or effort, but on God's mercy."  To say that we are kept from hell because of our sinlessness is a mockery of the sacrifice Christ made for us on the cross.  We cannot achieve salvation from our own effort.  He gave us the opportunity to be made sinless through Him, but because we are still human and still live on this broken earth, we may still fall under temptation.

If we have been redeemed from the consequences of sin, why then don't we turn back to sin, simply because we can?  1 John 5:3 says, "This is love for God: to keep his commands."  We strive to live righteously because we love Him who first loved us, and we should want to be more like Him.  But even if we stumble and fall, we will not be condemned.  Romans 8:1 says, "Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus."

John 3:17
"For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through Him."

Students praying for our campus a small distance away.

To believe that anything other than the grace of God offers us salvation is purely arrogance.  Jesus Christ died for us, sinners, to make atonement for our sins, so that we might have salvation in Him through faith.  This, my friends, is the Gospel.

If you have any questions or feedback, feel free to comment below, as long as you are respectful.  And, as always, please keep my university (as well as Brother Jed) in your prayers.

Before the Mediator

You have probably heard the story of Job.  He was a righteous man blessed greatly by God until Satan asked for permission to afflict him.  He took away Job's family, his servants, his wealth, and finally even his health.  Job 2:7-10 says, "So Satan went out from the presence of the Lord and afflicted Job with painful sores from the soles of his feet to the crown of his head.  Then Job took a piece of broken pottery and scraped himself with it as he sat among the ashes.  His wife said to him, "Are you still maintaining your integrity?  Curse God and die!"  He replied, "You are talking like a foolish woman.  Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?""

Eventually, a few of Job's best friends came to visit him.  They wept at the sight of their dear friend in a near-death state, grieving over his losses and in terrible pain, but their pity soon turned to accusations, and they harshly told Job that his sufferings were punishments from God because of his wickedness.  Job was clearly in a state of terrible emotional and physical pain.  He didn't understand why he suffered so greatly after trying so hard to live a righteous life.  He questioned God in frustration and sorrow, asking Him to give reason for what happened, but until the end of the book, Job encountered only silence.

Job yearned for something that reached beyond the covenant of his time, beyond the sacrifices and legalism and religion that he had followed so devoutly his entire life.  In Job 9:32-35, he said about God, "He is not a mere mortal like me that I might answer Him, that we might not confront each other in court.  If only there were someone to mediate between us, someone to bring us together, someone to remove God's rod from me, so that His terror would frighten me no more.  Then I would speak up without fear of Him, but as it now stands with me, I cannot."

This was before the coming of Jesus, before God extended His grace upon us so that we only need to place faith in His Son in order to receive right standing before Him.  Job was a man of the Lord.  He loved God in such a pure and righteous way that he could clearly identify His glory and might... and he also identified what he was missing in his relationship with the Lord.  A mediator. 

As humans, we have broken God's law and fallen from right standing with Him.  If we were taken to court, there is no way we could stand on our own.  God is a just judge and we deserve to be punished.  This is why Jesus died for us and took our place, taking our sins upon Himself.  Three days later, He came back to life, and now if we put our faith in Him, we will be saved.  This is the Gospel. 

Job, through his pain and grief, could see the value and necessity of a mediator.  He knew the old covenant needed to change.  He sought a relationship with God, not as only a servant, but as a son.

Eventually, as the story goes, God answered Job, reminding him that His plans are so much bigger than what we can ever grasp.  Although He was angry with Job's judgmental friends, He had mercy on them and forgave them.  He replenished Job's blessings and allowed him to have more wealth than he ever had before and many more precious children.  Clearly, even before Jesus came to earth, God was a compassionate, loving God.  He is unchanging through the old testament and the new.

Although Job was able to talk to God and was extended compassion, he longed for what was to come: a Mediator who would stand for us in love and strength and bring us to a place of purity and righteousness before the Lord.  What a beautiful gift the Gospel is.  We serve a mighty, compassionate God of love who delights in having a strong relationship with His children.

And even when we face troubles that are difficult to bear, the Lord is holding us close.  He is still compassionate.  And still He loves us.

Chariots of Fire

2 Kings 6:15-17

When the servant of the man of God got up early the next morning and went outside, there were troops, horses, and chariots everywhere. “Oh, sir, what will we do now?” the young man cried to Elisha. 

"Don’t be afraid!” Elisha told him. “For there are more on our side than on theirs!” Then Elisha prayed, “O Lord, open his eyes and let him see!” The Lord opened the young man’s eyes, and when he looked up, he saw that the hillside around Elisha was filled with horses and chariots of fire.

Whatever trials you are experiencing in this moment, know this with absolute certainty: there is a battle waging around you.

The Lord is with you.  He loves you unfailingly.  He is fighting for you.  He is pursuing you.  He will not leave you.

There have been times in my life that I have felt completely and utterly alone.  Times of hopelessness.  Times of helplessness.  Times of tears and yearning and cries to the Lord, "Where are you?"  Frustration.  Bitterness.  Defiance.

And through it all, God's love has not faltered.

How powerful is that?  It's huge.  

In your darkest of times, he has never left your side.  He has never stopped loving you.  He has never stopped romancing you and drawing you near to him.  He cherishes you.  

Psalm 138:3

As soon as I pray, you answer me; you encourage me by giving me strength.

You are so loved.  

In your darkest of times, the Lord is near.  He is holding you.  He is daily carrying your burdens.

Don't give into discouragement today.  Don't lose hope.

He is near.  He is fighting for you.

The Wilderness

Hosea 2:13-16

"...She decked herself with rings and jewelry,

and went after her lovers,

but me she forgot,"

declares the Lord. 

"Therefore I am now going to allure her; 

I will lead her into the wilderness

and speak tenderly to her.

There I will give her back her vineyards,

and make the Valley of Achor a door of hope.

There she will respond as in the days of her youth,

as in the day she came up out of Egypt.

"In that day," declares the Lord,

"you will call me 'my husband';

you will no longer call me 'my master.'"

This passage is about Israel, but I believe it can also be applied to our lives as Christians.  There are times when I go through spiritual deserts.  Perhaps I become caught in a pattern of sin and pride.  Perhaps I become burdened with the weight of the worries and hurts all around me and don't place those troubles into the Lord's hands.  Whatever the case, there are certainly seasons of my life when I feel stuck in the wilderness.

I love that a bit of the Gospel is in this Old Testament passage.  Turning away from the Lord and being swept back up into His grace.  The transformation of relationship from servant to bride.

She decked herself with rings and jewelry, and went after her lovers, but me she forgot.

When I was younger, I openly denied God and placed every painful thing in my life upon my own shoulders.  I stubbornly bore my own struggles and sadness.  I hurt and cried and yet I still forgot who the Lord was.  His beauty.  His love.  His grace.  His being.

Any time I've ever put something above my relationship with the Lord, it has become my lover.  I am His bride.  Idols and priorities I place higher than Christ are lovers that keep me from falling completely in love with Him.

When I was in a place of total defiance from God, instead of leaving me to wallow in my despair, He stepped in.  He embraced me into His loving arms and when I rejected His very touch, He pursued my heart.

Therefore I am now going to allure her; I will lead her into the wilderness and speak tenderly to her.

Sometimes what best gives you a shock of reality is a painful trial.  When I was fourteen, I struggled with depression.  At fifteen, I lost a friend to suicide.  When I was eighteen and feeling completely secure and complacent in the relationships I had in my life, the Lord asked me to go to a university that was so much bigger than my comfort zone would ever willingly allow and so much further away from my hometown than I had ever wanted.  At first, every friend I had seemed to be miles and miles away and I had to learn that when I felt like I was alone in the world, God was there for me.

This summer, I have been shown that every earthly relationship will break and fall short of human expectations.  Hearts will be broken.  Trials will come over and over again.  Yet God's love is enough.

Even when I feel frustrated at the Lord, He has never left me.  He continues to allure me with His endless love.  He leads me to a place where He is all that's left and then He simply loves me.  He whispers words of beauty.  He sings songs of joy to my heart.  And when I clap my hands over my ears and stubbornly refuse to listen, He holds me close until I do.

The wilderness is rough, but it has purpose.  Every wilderness can be turned into a place of restoration.  Beauty will rise from the ashes.

There I will give her back her vineyards, and make the Valley of Achor a door of hope.  There she will respond as in the days of her youth, as in the day she came up out of Egypt.

Achor means "trouble."  Even if you are stuck in a wilderness, a low place of weariness and hurt, the Lord desires to romance you.  He can bring you out of the deepest valley.  He will restore beauty into your life and make your darkest trouble a source of hope.  How beautiful.

This is the Gospel.

That summer before I started high school, after the Lord broke and transformed my heart, I was filled with a fire like I've never had before.  I couldn't get enough of the Word.  I wanted to learn.  I wanted to grow.  I wanted everyone to know about the One who had rescued me and made me whole.  I was young and childlike in my faith, but I was on fire.  This was the time He brought me out of Egypt.  As He took me from the wilderness and embraced me into His great love, I rejoiced.  I eagerly drank Him in with a thirst stronger than I had ever felt.

As the Lord brings me out of the wilderness, He restores my soul.  He replaces my troubles with hope.  And I feel invigorated again, more and more excited about what He has done and what He will do.  Because of this, I am thankful for the trials.  I am thankful for the wilderness.  It renews my hope in Him.

"In that day," declares the Lord, "you will call me 'my husband'; you will no longer call me 'my master.'"

One thing I've learned from the darkest places is that Jesus is not distant.  He hears me.  He treasures me.  He loves me.  He is not only my master.  He is my father, my friend, my groom.  And I am His bride.

This is the Gospel, my friends.

Christ brought me from the wilderness into His love.  He transformed my heart.  He loves me through my brokenness.  And instead of leaving me to my defiance, my pride, and my broken heart, He loves me with an unfailing love.

I am so thankful.

Hosea 2:18-20, 23 

I will betroth you to me forever;

I will betroth you in righteousness and justice,

in love and compassion. 

I will betroth you in faithfulness,

and you will acknowledge the Lord.

...I will say to those called "Not my people," "You are my people";

and they will say, "You are my God."

There is peace.

This summer is not what I expected.

My family has been spiritually attacked within the last month.  I feel as if we are attempting to swim through rough waters.  Each time one of us manages to lift our head to take a breath, an even taller wave comes to smash us back down against the rocky bottom.

Some trials are easy to explain, like my grandmother breaking her hip and the decisions we must now make about her living arrangements.  Or like a terribly difficult situation we've had with my younger sister.  Or like the suicide of my sister's young friend and the resurfacing of emotions and memories that have come from that. Or like the painful injury my mom had this very night that may end up changing the course of the summer; we'll have to see about that.  Other trials are nearly impossible to put into words.  

I believe my family is being tested, each of us individually as well as a unit.  And we can either shatter against the pavement or we can find our wholeness in the Lord.

The depth of our valleys indicate the height of our mountains.  We are being refined.  Isaiah 48:10 says, "I have refined you, but not as silver is refined. Rather, I have refined you in the furnace of suffering." I love Romans 8:28, which says, "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God."  He is working.  His glory is shining through, even in the darkest of moments.

I don't know if this summer will become any easier.  When it rains, it pours.  More trials may come.  Perhaps I am being prepared for a mountain greater than I could ever imagine on my own.

All that is left to do is crumble to my knees and say, "God, show me Your heart in this.  Bring glory to Your Name from this.  Let me find joy in this place."  Psalm 91:4, one of my favorite verses, says, "He will cover you with His feathers.  He will shelter you with His wings.  His faithful promises are your armor and protection." 

God, I want to find the wholeness of my being—my joy, my identity, my peace, my hope, my transformation—in You alone.

Although I am not under attack by a human enemy, this next verse has brought me great comfort.

1 Samuel 25:29 

Even when you are chased by those who seek to kill you, your life is safe in the care of the Lord your God, secure in his treasure pouch! But the lives of your enemies will disappear like stones shot from a sling!

I am resting secure in the Lord's treasure pouch.  He cherishes me; I am valued as a treasure to Him. And even when I feel like I am broken or drowning, He has already won.  As Christ brings comfort and strength through these days of refinement, glory is the Lord's.  2 Corinthians 1:4 says, "He comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort others. When they are troubled, we will be able to give them the same comfort God has given us."

There is stillness in these rough waters.  Satan will not win.  Each time I break down in tears and ask the Lord to take it away, He whispers, "Have peace."  John 16:33 says, "I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.”

There is peace.

And if it means bringing glory to God's Name, if it means growing in Him, I'll accept it with joy.  Without Christ, I am shattered.  In Him, there is strength, wholeness, joy, and such peace.

Matthew 11:28

Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest."