Day 26: If you could write a letter to your 13-year-old self, what would it be?
Dear thirteen-year-old me,
That's right. This is me writing to you. Yourself... from the future. Cool, right?
First of all, I want to tell you that you are worth something. God has made you with a purpose. You have value. You are loved, even if you don't feel like it right now. Your struggles are being noticed right now by your family and your friends. They want to talk to you and love on you and help you, but you're pushing them away. If you can only break open your walls and let them in, you'll be opening yourself to so much love and care.
You're beautiful. Even if you don't feel like it, you are. You're worth so much more than how you treat yourself. When you hurt yourself, you're hurting everyone who loves you, including God. I know you don't believe in Him right now, but He does exist. He's there. He's holding your hand, just like you always used to imagine when you were little. Jesus adores you. It makes Him so, so sad when you hurt the body He's made just for you.
Don't be afraid to fit in a little bit. I know you call yourself an "anti-conformist" but you can be unique without pushing yourself away from everyone. Talk to people. Smile at people. Dress cute, even if someone else has a somewhat similar style. Be yourself, Emily, but don't try to be so unique that you become someone other than who God made you to be. Your shyness has overtaken you. If you allowed yourself to open up just a little bit, you'd make so many more friends. You wouldn't feel nearly as alone as you do now.
I wish I could take you aside and give you a huge hug and talk to you in person. I know that's weird because you're me, but I remember myself from age thirteen and I was so broken. You're so broken. That emptiness you feel inside is the place where God needs to be. Let Him in. Follow His plan for you. He wants you to serve the needy and the lost. You have that passion... you just haven't found it yet. Serving the hungry will give you so much joy, Emily. The Lord wants you to love. He wants you to feel joy and peace, not pain and fear.
He made you special, Emily. I wish you could see that much earlier than you do. God has made you for a purpose, and it's a big one.
P.S. Please grow out your hair, bangs, and get contacts. Thanks. :)