Saturday, August 3, 2013

Any other purpose.

Day 2: Describe 3 legitimate fears you have and how they became fears.

1.) Water.  I'm utterly terrified of deep water or murky water or water with living things in it.  I'm not really sure how this came about, because I'm a good swimmer and there was never a drowning incident in my life or anything like that.  However, I've been afraid of sharks and water for as far back as I can remember.  In fact, as a little girl, my worst dreams that would cause me to go running to my parents' bedroom would be about drowning or being attacked by a shark.

It's not like I can't handle water at all.  I waded in the beach this summer.  I can swim in a pool.  But I absolutely cannot watch any kind of scary shark movie, including Jaws or Sharknado.  And good luck convincing me to ever go swimming past my waist in the ocean.  Or a deep lake.

2.) Losing people.  I don't mean being rejected or abandoned.  I mean losing people I love because of death.  This is something I'm working on and it's something I want to put fully into the Lord's hands, but I still struggle with this sometimes.  When I was younger, I would get bad feelings, convinced that my friends were going to make bad decisions and end their lives or get into accidents.  I've lost loved ones before and it's difficult.  When I'm at my highest anxiety levels, my mind will try to convince me that those I love are going to die.

But this is a foolish fear.  Death is inevitable on this earth.  But there is life in Jesus.

Thankfully, I have the assurance of living in fellowship with so many of my loved ones for the rest of forever.  This is a reason why sharing the Gospel is so important.  Losing people I love is scary; losing people because they are eternally separated from God is the worst thing I can imagine.  It breaks His heart and it breaks mine too.

3.) Being purposeless.  It scares me to die without having made a mark for Christ on this world.  I'm not talking about being famous or winning thousands of souls over; I just mean that I want to die to Him every single day.  I don't want to waste my life being focused on myself or on silly, worldly things.  I was created to bring God glory.  He created me to tell people about Him and to love the nations and to serve the needy.  I want to spend my life serving Him, not serving myself.  Any other purpose is purposeless.

What are 3 fears of yours?

Two years ago: Time Changes Things and Happy Birthday, Luke!

1 comment:

  1. Hi Emily, I came across your blog today and can relate to the fears you spoke on, especially being purposeless. One of my biggest fears is missing my purpose for lack of clarity, though I know that I have to learn to trust God's providence over my life and that He wants me to live in His purpose more than I do. My other fears are of heights (I've avoided so many potentially fun activities like a hot air balloon ride because of this) and spiders (so silly but they creep me out!:)