Thursday, February 9, 2012

Deep Waters

I stumbled upon a verse today that reminded me of my favorite verse, Psalm 77:19. 

Isaiah 43:2
When you go through deep waters,
I will be with you.
When you go through rivers of difficulty,
you will not drown. 

Our God is so faithful, isn't He?

Through the hardest times of our lives, He is there.  He keeps us strong.  

Before I knew the Lord personally, I felt like I was drowning in a dark world of depression and self-destruction.  Each day, I felt like I was drowning. 

I gave my life to Christ the summer before I started high school.  As I began my freshman year, my heart felt like it was on fire for Him.  I read through the Bible three times, cover-to-cover.  I was so hungry to know more about God.  He had brought me through the darkest time I could remember.  I was feeling joyful and loveable and beautiful... and I was desperate to know more about the One who brought me to a point of peace and joy I thought I'd never reach.

Less than four months after I gave my life to Christ, a friend of mine committed suicide.  This action brought me to a screeching, stumbling halt in my search to know God better.  Suddenly, I was faced with questions like:

"Wait, I gave You control of my life and this is what happens?"  "Is this my fault?"  "How could You let me feel such pain again?"  "Why didn't You stop him?"  "How can I possibly find my way through this hurt?

For weeks, I felt anger at God.  I'd been in such a good place.  Filled with fire for Him, making friends, feeling joy for the first time... and then this happened.  All I could feel was grief, betrayal, and guilt.

The months following my friend's suicide were difficult, but they played a huge role in my learning to trust in God through everything.  During a time when I thought it could never get better, He showed me that He alone could bring my head above water and keep me standing.  As He held me in His arms, I found healing. 

A sweet Christian lady mentored me during this hard time.  Something she told me during the midst of one of our many conversations was: "The depth of your valleys indicates the height of your mountains later on.  God has something big in store for your life, Emily.  I can see it already."

Her words encourage me to this day.

You may be struggling with something right now.  In fact, a lot of my readers probably are.  One of my favorite quotes is: "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a difficult battle."  Whatever you're dealing with, I'd like to repeat Isaiah 43:2 as an encouragement to you: "When you go through deep waters, I will be with you.  When you go through rivers of difficulty, you will not drown."

I don't know what you're going through, but God does.  And even if He feels distant right now, He's holding you tight.  No matter what your struggles are today, God will not let you drown.

He's got you.


  1. I get what you are saying, I just lost my Aunt in December and I feel angry at God for letting her die I know she was ready, she was really sick and she loved God so much, but I can't help but thinking He could have stoped it. How do I work through it when I don't even want to talk to Him???

    1. That's such a big question and I certainly don't have the wisdom to fully answer something like this. I'm so sorry to hear about your aunt. During a time of hurt and grief like what you're going through, all you can do is TRUST in God's unending love. We're human, so we struggle to understand God's character. But remember: He's God! He has huge plans for you and He loves your aunt so, so much. It's hard to lose someone; I know it's hard. And I know what it's like to feel frustrated and angry at God, but you've just got to trust Him and let His peace wash over you, even when it's hard.

    2. Emily, thank you so much! I am going to try just to trust Him and let Him help me get through the hurt.
      Thank you so much Emily!!!